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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," the man said as he emerged from the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this?" ?I don?t know dear,? the wife replied, "maybe that I married you for your money?" :tired:

Yesterday, Texas A&M University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phyto-estrogens) and that...

A Nun asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some they handed in: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear God: I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear God: Instead of letting...

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "I feel so miserable without you. It's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man, and he worships his creator." -John Bright "He has all the...

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove there was no God. He said, "God if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm...

Next time your tongue trips on your words think of the embarrassment suffered by the highly formal, but quite nervous young suitor who timidly approached the father of his intended and blurted: ?Sir, I come to ask for your daughter?s hole in handy matrimony.? :confused:

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that...

JimB's wonderful canonical jokes re: engineers reminded me of the oldie but goodie below: ------------------------------------ At a convention of the most gifted minds representing every discipline, each in turn were asked the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?" The engineer produces a...

Hi all, Could someone help us by either confirming or correcting what I read in the travel section of DR1 that "By law, the first 60 meters of any beach is public property. ". We have lived on several islands, and while all of them have "public rights" laws governing their beaches, none have...

Hi all, This is my first time post to the board. Please forgive any newbie mistakes I might make in properly posting my question. We read DR1 every day and we have found the board to be full of helpful information. My husband and I, and our 10 year old son, are planning a move back to the...