Will Give Dinner for Love Advice

My advice is food-free.

Go to the nearest mirror, look into it deeply, and repeat these words:

"You are getting sleepy. You are gettting very sleeeeppy. Beware of dominicanas who seem toooo friendly. You will run away when meeting one of these girls. You will run awayyyyy... When you hear a rooster crow, you will wake up and remember nothing, but you will run away when you encounter a friendly, smiling chicaaaah.."

Failing that, why don't you ask AZB here on DR1 out for dinner? He seems to like good food, and has good advice. Also, see Hillbilly's Dating Rules in the sticky section.

It's not a good idea to project your "desperate need" to have children to any dominicana before a long courtship, just as it isn't a good idea to open up a fat wallet on a busy street corner in a bad barrio. You'll end up with the same result.

maze8868 said:

Hi: My name is Elliot from New York and I'm in Santiago till the end of the month. I'm a middle-aged, good looking dude (some say charismatic) with a working knowledge of Espanol. Like many of you, I've fallen in love with this island paradise but have discovered more than a few snakes lurking in the bushes.

I have been going with poorer women who have dazzled me with their openness and sensuality. I am not interested in sex workers, which is why I am comfortable with Santiago where there are few tourists. Some of these women have made me as happy as I can expect to be in this life and in the past 2 years I have fallen in love with two of them.

However, reading this section has made me very wary of a commitment. I want children desperately and I need an honest woman who will raise them to be fine people. I am frankly heart broken with doubt.

In both cases, as feelings became deeper, so did the financial outlays. I understand that the Dominican woman expects to be cared for when she gives herself totally to her man, but my question is "At what point can you tell she's in it for the money, or just to take care of basic needs and to feel protected and cared for?

I will be happy to invite respondents who are serious with their advice to Ahi Bar or a restaurant of their choice. Sorry, but the budget will only allow $25.00. By the way, I am a consultant hypnotist who works with doctor referrals as to alternative therapies. Examples are alleviating problems with weight gain, sleeplessness etc. as well as maximizing sports performance.

Since you guys are always contributing such useful (or at least colorful) advice, my first session will be gratis if you are interested.

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you sound creepy (word replaced), asking male readers out to dinner, and the hypnotism thing ...........creepy



Please leave personal speculation out of the mix.

Gregg
Mod.

bro, didnt I send you a message? I m telling you whatever you learn from AZB will be on the money. He s a master in the field, here.

maze8868 said:

Hi: My name is Elliot from New York and I'm in Santiago till the end of the month. I'm a middle-aged, good looking dude (some say charismatic) with a working knowledge of Espanol. Like many of you, I've fallen in love with this island paradise but have discovered more than a few snakes lurking in the bushes.

I have been going with poorer women who have dazzled me with their openness and sensuality. I am not interested in sex workers, which is why I am comfortable with Santiago where there are few tourists. Some of these women have made me as happy as I can expect to be in this life and in the past 2 years I have fallen in love with two of them.

However, reading this section has made me very wary of a commitment. I want children desperately and I need an honest woman who will raise them to be fine people. I am frankly heart broken with doubt.

In both cases, as feelings became deeper, so did the financial outlays. I understand that the Dominican woman expects to be cared for when she gives herself totally to her man, but my question is "At what point can you tell she's in it for the money, or just to take care of basic needs and to feel protected and cared for?

I will be happy to invite respondents who are serious with their advice to Ahi Bar or a restaurant of their choice. Sorry, but the budget will only allow $25.00. By the way, I am a consultant hypnotist who works with doctor referrals as to alternative therapies. Examples are alleviating problems with weight gain, sleeplessness etc. as well as maximizing sports performance.

Since you guys are always contributing such useful (or at least colorful) advice, my first session will be gratis if you are interested.

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quit hanging with poor women. if she asks you for money, shes in it for the money. if she never asks you for money she likes you for you. simple. And ask yourself, man, compared to other women in other developing countries, what needs are BASIC and what are extravagant or ostentatious? I ve been asked for purses, ok, basic...but it had to be Gucci, not basic. I was asked this morning to front $$ to get an apartment(all of it). I was asked Wednesday, different women, to pay the light bill because they were coming to turn it off(immediacy always pulls at the heartstrings). I told them both, you know what I d like? I like to get through a week without being pestered to give, donate, acquiese, or otherwise. Go ahead pound your elbow(tacano) but I m a realist. And I really dont like it people making decisions what they are going to do with your money.
And $25 dont get you much. You better off offering a cup of Ice Tea from the guy who has the cart in front of McDonalds.

The women here as in many other places in the world do want to be taken care of, yes that's true but you get also more in return.
All you have to do with these women is to put your rules down, keep both feet on the ground and also use your street wits then you'll be fine.

I'm cheap.....a Nathans hot dog and you've got my utmost interset. 2 Nathans and I'll give you the advise of the century.

frank recktenwald said:

The women here as in many other places in the world do want to be taken care of, yes that's true but you get also more in return.
All you have to do with these women is to put your rules down, keep both feet on the ground and also use your street wits then you'll be fine.

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what more do you get Mr. Frank?

el forastero said:

My advice is food-free.
"You are getting sleepy. You are gettting very sleeeeppy. Beware of dominicanas who seem toooo friendly. You will run away when meeting one of these girls. You will run awayyyyy... When you hear a rooster crow, you will wake up and remember nothing, but you will run away when you encounter a friendly, smiling chicaaaah.."

.

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OMG you are too funny......:laugh:

Frank is a good man who speaks the truth.

He is offering some good advice, but the key to that advice is having "two feet on the ground." If you go into any relationship from a position of weakness you will be taken advantage of.

Do not appear needy or weak, and protect yourself and your property at all times. It is possible to have a mutually beneficial relationship with Dominican women, but be sure you know the rules of the game and above all keep in mind that it is a game.

The same can be said of any relationship, here or 'up north'. In the words of Tina Turner, "What's Love got to do with it?"

you should get advice from someone who has successfully done what you want to do.

IMHO there are only 2 people in santiago you should talk to: MrMike and Hillbilly.

the odds are not good then lol only two people to talk to

Maybe you should go to Haiti ..not too far from your answers/questions ... they are looking for
Dinner ? Lunch ... water anything... maybe you may wake up from it all. Be nice.

Women

I have been seeing a Dominicana on my last couple of trips. Relocating to DR so I wanted to meet someone. The biggest thing to learn is how to say "NO". It is completely understandable that women in the DR ask for things. They have nothing. Then we show up and spend more on one night out than they spend in a month to live. Of course they think we are all rich. Who, besides a rich idiot, would spend that much money on one night out? You really have to look at it from their point of view. The thing I don't understand is why they don't ask more often. It does not bother me when she asks for something. If I want to give her something, I do and if I don't I just say no. Cultural thing. You can not appear "easy" or most Dominican women will not respect you. In their mind it is, "Why should I respect a man that allows me to walk all over him". Far from an expert here, just talking from my own experience.

Rbh44 said:

I have been seeing a Dominicana on my last couple of trips. Relocating to DR so I wanted to meet someone. The biggest thing to learn is how to say "NO". It is completely understandable that women in the DR ask for things. They have nothing. Then we show up and spend more on one night out than they spend in a month to live. Of course they think we are all rich. Who, besides a rich idiot, would spend that much money on one night out? You really have to look at it from their point of view. The thing I don't understand is why they don't ask more often. It does not bother me when she asks for something. If I want to give her something, I do and if I don't I just say no. Cultural thing. You can not appear "easy" or most Dominican women will not respect you. In their mind it is, "Why should I respect a man that allows me to walk all over him". Far from an expert here, just talking from my own experience.

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Im sorry man, but your post is silly. You should not have to be vetted as to your deisre to give and though you should be obligated to do it. Your spanish must be bad and you dont understand what is going on here. Just this week, I was hit with major crisises where the money is needed urgently. And I m thinking how urgent could a problem be IF YOU DIDNT KNOW ME? On Wednesday I got a "I need 3000 pesos or they will turn off the electricity" No one disconnects the electricity here because most people are stealing it in the 1st place. And 3000 pesos???????????? How many Kilowatts did I personally consume at your house. Then on Thursday, different woman, I get, "I cant stay at the house with my primos because no contribuye por falta de dinero pero quiero mi propio apartamento, Puedes ayudarme?" Con que? "Con el apartamento?" Como y cuanto? "Necesitare todo por el deposito." Me querias darle 3 meses(which could be like 9K-10Kpesos all at once)? Ya no puedo y mas no quiero. Y mas digame ese por favor, que pasara el proximo mes cuando no puedes pagar la renta?????????????? She made it sound like if I do this for her, I can stay with her whenever I wanted to(and why not, its MY APARTMENT, I am the one paying the rent). Bro, I think you re the problem, you dont have a problem with the begging, so you feed into the illusion that its admirable to do and that you can wear a guy down if you do it long enough. Had another friend who didnt want to meet me in Parque Chachases because it was too far from Clinica Coromina PERO she wanted to meet me in El Encanto. OK, so you cant walk the 2 blocks to Chachases but you can walk the 2 blocks to El encanto? Come on! The idea is once we are in the store you pester me to get you stuff. Screw you, I ll call you later. And to cover your final point, why should you respect a woman who begs for material items? How do you know she is loyal and faithful to you and not the JC Penney Catalog? Most of what I see are women whose eyes are bigger than their stomach with respect to dating foreign men. And by creating "emergencies" doesnt add to their credibility. There are only so many heart attacks or CAT scans your father can have.

RacerX, your rambling rant was more of a projection of your experiences than it was a rebuttal of RBH's post. Why the hostility?

If you have a problem with saying "no" then you should address that situation, not accuse RBH of being "silly". All RBH was doing was relating his personal experience, which might be quite different from someone else.

It sounds as though you got burnt a few times (who hasn't?), but that is no excuse for attaching someone who was simply trying to help.

catcherintherye said:

RacerX, your rambling rant was more of a projection of your experiences than it was a rebuttal of RBH's post. Why the hostility?

If you have a problem with saying "no" then you should address that situation, not accuse RBH of being "silly". All RBH was doing was relating his personal experience, which might be quite different from someone else.

It sounds as though you got burnt a few times (who hasn't?), but that is no excuse for attaching someone who was simply trying to help.

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Nope, no hostile at all. HIs post was silly and feeds into the illusion that Americans are rich and have limitless quantities of dinero. So when one woman succeeds in begging for what she wants out of you it becomes the paradigm for future women who you may meet. And assuming there is only way to help is childish. And clearly you misunderstand me, I never have a problem saying no, in fact I am so nice at it they dont bother calling me Racer they call me Odioso X.
The point is which you failed to catch was that it is an infringement on your or my ideological freedom to be considered an ATM all the time. To you its a game, and maybe humourous at that. But really if you re not a jeweler do you ALWAYS want to have your guard up? The point is that I or whomever does not live to cure what ails you with the remedy always starting with a $ sign. Maybe you dont care if your friends like you for you or for what you can give them. But who am I to tell you what to do.

And it RBH took it personal I dont think he should, but he should be a bit reticent about a woman who asks for things that are not necessary. And it didnt ramble, it laid out experiences that occur when you are talking to more than ONE woman. When you recount your experiences with ONE woman they are discounted when you compare those to a person who is pursuing several. This is also the same reason why no one drives a Saab.
If you re a Salinger fan you know in this life you have the players and the ones who watch from the sidelines.

Chicas

No offense taken Racer, But I think you should find a better class of chica. The girl I have been involved with has a job in Santiago. I have been involved with her for 7 months and visited twice. Of course I take her small gifts like cosmetics or a blouse, whatever. I gave her a very inexpensive MP3 player with English learning progam on it. Of course I pay for everything when we go somewhere, I would do that here in the states, no difference. And the only thing she has ever asked me for was a camera. I gave her an inexpensive camera and now she sends me photos of her and family. I have been to her small apartment, no stove of any kind and no frig. She usually wears the same pantsuit to work everyday because she only has one set of clothes for work. And yet the only thing she has asked me for was that camera. The girl is poor but she has pride.

RacerX said:

what more do you get Mr. Frank?

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He is right, you get a lot more that is the reason so many foreigners get crazy for the Dominicans girls.

RacerX said:

what more do you get Mr. Frank?

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Anything I want