can i get sole custardy?

sarita

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May 5, 2005
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Hi,
Ive got 2 kids aged 5 and 3 years old. we live here in the dominican republic and their father lives in england. He's dominican and im british. He is named as the father on both kids birth certificates as we were married at the time of their birth however we were sepertated, we later divorced. Anyway he hasnt seen the kids in 3 years the youngest was a month old and neither kids remember him, i know that he is in england but do not know where and have no way of contacting him even if i wanted to. As i said he is named as father on both birth certificates which automatically gives us joint custardy of the kids. What i am asking is if i am able to get sole custady of the kids, and how do i do it? Does it take into accout the fact that he has nothing to do with them physically, emotionally or financially, and if i dont know where he is am i still able to do it. Like this i cant take them out of the country without his permission and i cant contact him to get it. i dont feel that he has a right towards them as he has abandonded them but if he comes into their life some day they have a right to make that decision themselves. All i want now is to havel sole responsibility for them (legally). Also is there anyway in which they can use just my surname? they have a double barrelled surname mine and his. Although this question isnt as importsant as the custardy question.

thanks in advance

xxx
 

DMV123

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Mar 31, 2010
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You clearly need a lawyer - sooner rather then later. I am sure there are legal ways to get what you want.

Please do not count on non lawyers for advice. Guzman Ariza law firm is excellent. Call them!
 

Matilda

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Sep 13, 2006
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As you are British I suggest in the first instance you contact the British Embassy 8094727111, that is assuming you are here in the DR.

Matilda
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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I can shed what light I have gone through myself although we are oposite sex yet still trying to gain the same outcome. I am a British guy with a Dominican child of 11 month. After asking around as you seem to be doing just to get a feel for others experiences I found my only real option was to contact a lawyer and take his opinion. I went with Guzman they seems to beable to talk straight, cut the sh1t and tell you the sometimes awkward truth you may not want to hear, but reality. At this point it was made it very clear to me that I would not stand a chance in hell until my daughter was old enough to make her own mind up, unless we as parents could agree on the matter. My partner being Dominican is not the most realistic of people when it come to who will beable to give her the better life, love seems to be enou8gh here rather than education and progression. I live on a rubbish wage in the republic only so I can be with my daughter. Had I custody we would be out of here like a shot and on route to a better lifestyle than I can afford here, although sure, money is not everything.
From my pickings of our conversations is that without the father being present and offering rights it would be very difficult and could be rather costly (not his words, but mannerisms in his terms of speach) I get the idea with both parents in agreement life is easier.
As the mother you have the family name on the BC and so I am almost sure you can return to the UK with this alone. A little from the lawyer explaining the situation may be in order but well worth it in the long run. Once in the UK (call it a holiday) then nyou have the weight on your side.
If I can help any more please freel free to ask.
But don't worry, they are your kids, you will get them back to where you want to be, it might just be slightly frustrating on some of the paperwork and why is you man on the run type stupid questions,,, you know:ermm:
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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And remember once in the UK, they can not bring you back, your kids have dual nationality, all you have to do is organise a holiday, that should not be difficult at all.
 

sarita

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i dont want to leave here it would just be a holiday we have a good life here i like my job kids are in school and have friends, we have a house etc. we have made our life here and we are happy. i guess u could ask me why i am so bothered if he's not even in the country but you know its been 3 years and he hasnt had anything to do with them, it's me that supports them, loves them and is always there for them. I dont want to take away his rights or deny that he is their father i just want to have legal responisibility for them. When they are older they can decide whether they want to see him or not but at the minute they dont even know he exists. I need to tell them at somepoint incase he does come back but he's not in their life and hasnt been for years. Confused. I will take ur advise and see a lawyer although dont have much spare cash does anyone know approximately how much the charge?
thanks everyone for your advise.
xxx
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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If it is holiday only I see absolutely no reason why you would have any problems if you have return tickets, a home to return to and a job. If you plan to return then I would forget the custody for the moment and approach the embassy where you will need to visit anyway if it is their first time out of the country. If he is in UK then they will track him down in days, if he is wroking legally, then hit him with the guilt trip. And take his backpayment in support.
Passports issued, letter of intent to return and leave.
This is not gospel, but all this wil be made clear at the Embassey, they have dual nationality, they can't stop you leaving unless the father has issued airport security to question you, which from the sounds of things I very much doubt he is bothered.
Again, not gospel, but I'll eat my dogs tail if you have any problems with this at all.
Good luck and have a good time. Be sure to take them to alton towers!!

The only thing that stops me leaving with my little girl is her mother paranoia I won't come back, you don't have any of these worries.
 

sarita

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they have been out of the country before, they lived there for just over a year ive never had any problems its just that everyone is going on about that i need a letter from there dad. the other thing is that if one day he does return i dont want him waltzing back into their life and deciding what does and doesnt go when they dont even know who he is. I figure if i have sole custardy i can control this a little at least until he proves his relationship with them. Which to be honest i think will never happen cos as soon as he realizes hes got to pay towards their upkeep he wont care about seeing them anymore. I just want that all major desisions regarding them, health, education, holidays etc are made by me as he is clearly not interested.
oh and i will be sure to take them to alton towers xxx
 

DMV123

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Mar 31, 2010
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In order to leave you either need court ordered sole custody OR a letter from the dad giving permission to leave. That is my understanding. BUT............

Like I said you need to speak to a lawyer not a bunch of us who THINK we know the law.
 

genistar

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Jul 29, 2009
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I wonder what it would cost to simply have new birth certificates issued WITHOUT the father's name on them... I mean by paying someone under the table, of course. It might be a simpler and cheaper solution. There are, afterall, two sets of laws in the DR: official... and unofficial. LOL
 

sarita

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i went to the family court a friend took me but they said they cant do anything until he comes back. Now he has disappeared somewhere in England and i have no way of contacting but for reasons stated in my previous post would like to find out if it is possible for me to be soley responsible for them legally as he is not in their lives etc. Also lawyers are expensive so this is my first port of call. There is a lawyer on here and i was hoping for his advise on what i am able to do before i start paying out for the (maybe) impossible or advise from some one who has been through this.

Thanks
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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In the thread you started last year Dolores posted that you could apply for sole custody through the courts - abandonment being reasonable grounds: that would seem to be the best starting point.
 

sarita

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ok thanks its just they werent much help last year they just kept saying hes their dad he will always have rights and tat that they couldnt do anything whilst he was out of the country but i will try again.
thanks
 

Fabio J. Guzman

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Jan 1, 2002
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You don't need a court-ordered sole custody to leave. You may do with just a court-ordered authorization to travel with the child (which is easier), if you can present the facts convincingly to the court.
 

sarita

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thanks everyone been to see a lawyer and things dont seem to be as complicated as i thought. thanks for all advise given.
 

philosopher

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Jul 7, 2010
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Hello,

Iam wondering once you have sole custody of your child, do you still always need to get papers signed by immigration to leave the DR?

Below is what you need when you don't have sole custody:
It is a bit more complicated than just a letter from a lawyer. You need a document from immigration to exit the country. My daughter was born here and with a Canadian passport, but I still need legal papers and permission from dad to get out of the country. In about 3 days the legal papers are ready at immigration. First you need a lawyer to make a document stating that dad gives permission and take this document to be legalized. Later take this document and the following to immigration:
- Copy of passport for kid and parent travelling
- Copy of visa or residency for both kid and parent travelling
- Original birth certificate + one copy
- 2 pictures 2x2
- Copy of cedula from other parent
Cost: $1000
VIP: $2000
I travel each year and they ALWAYS ask for this paper so I would not recommend travelling without it.

Do you need all of this when you have sole custody?
 

sarita

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May 5, 2005
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hi

hi, no i dont think so this was one of the reasons i mentioned to the lawyer and she didnt say that i would still need his permission. my situation is a little different because he isnt in this country but maybe speak to a lawyer and get ur options. Good luck