Would it be wise to marry an uneducated woman? or man?

Manuel832 · Mar 12, 2011

Hi everyone,

Its nice to be posting back on DR1.

I have a very general question to ask in regards to dating women. Please keep this thread civil.

I was having a general discussion with my dad about a week ago. We were discussing our relationships and women we dated but it quickly became an argument. He is currently married to a woman from Ghana, West African that is my step-mom. She has given me many headaches in my life as step-moms normally do. She never went to school, and is uneducated but he likes her so that is his business. she has a bad attitude towards her step kids except for when it comes to her kids.

Anyway he was telling me how it would be easier to marry an uneducated women over an educated woman as it makes life easier, they are simpler and do as their told, mold them they way you want them etc etc. and i was telling him how difficult life can be with them. And I sited an example of how when he dated his current wife (what is now my step mom from hell), she was never able to help me with simple things like homework, reading, etc etc. It was at this point that he took what I said as an insult since she can't do any of the above, and because my grandparents were against them getting together from the start. however as much as my father would like to deny this, he married this woman purely on looks. how else does a man meet a woman that already has a child with someone else and she was still with the guy. they met in september 1994, she got pregnant by october, and they got married straight after. Everything happened so fast and his only excuse was he was in his 40's and older at the time. so he knew what he was doing. but i suffered under this woman. he never considered this and its so painful.

Anyway here is my question, is there really anything wrong with dated an woman educated? I mean men choose women for many reasons: Great body, great sex, falling in love etc etc and I respect that everyone has their taste when it comes to women. However in 3rd worlds countries like the dr hoards of women are in fact uneducated, and many times these same ones are more of a headache then they are worth. it might be difficult to find an educated woman that is humble and down to earth, knows how to cook etc etc. On the flip side you probably wouldn't have much in common, you can't have conversations with them about world events, politics and other things.

DMV123 · Mar 12, 2011

You might want to consider intelligent vs not intelligent.

Lack of education can be fixed, lack of intelligence is lifelong.

The concept of marrying a women because she is uneducated and can be trained (like a bloody animal) is OFFENSIVE at best.

suarezn · Mar 12, 2011

Would you marry one back home? If the answer is Yes then why not? Otherwise you know the answer.

rendul · Mar 12, 2011

It may start out great = compliance & subservience but that can get really tiresome when events are happening and there is no one to share it with. Also when the physicality lessens, who are you going to talk to? Can you have an intelligent conversation? Can you make jokes that will be understood? After being married for 35 years, there is a lot more to a marriage than sex. Companionship comes from a closeness that develops over time and is made wonderful by shared interests and a sense of humor. I couldn't see myself getting together with someone I can't share my life with because he doesn't understand my humor or outside interests.

:cheeky::cheeky:

Manuel832 · Mar 12, 2011

To DMV123:

I too believe its a silly mentality to be with someone that is uneducated because they can be molded to your desires. As soon as any man says this to me I can already see where the relationship is heading. Either he is very controlling and likes to always dominate the woman or he just doesn't know 21st century women and how smart an uneducated woman can be. As recent as 2 - 3 weeks ago we discovered that my step mom was looking through my dads office draws trying to find her ILR (indefinate leave to remain) in order for her and step son to go back to the UK (funny for someone who can't read :surprised) he believes she is so dumb and and thick he has no idea how dangerous she is for someone that can't even read.

To Suarezn: where my father is from is not all that different then the dr. actually its worse but as an educated man he choose the equivalent of a sankette of dr.

Manuel832 · Mar 12, 2011

rendul said:
It may start out great = compliance & subservience but that can get really tiresome when events are happening and there is no one to share it with. Also when the physicality lessens, who are you going to talk to? Can you have an intelligent conversation? Can you make jokes that will be understood? After being married for 35 years, there is a lot more to a marriage than sex. Companionship comes from a closeness that develops over time and is made wonderful by shared interests and a sense of humor. I couldn't see myself getting together with someone I can't share my life with because he doesn't understand my humor or outside interests.

:cheeky::cheeky:

my dad and step mom have an odd relationship. she needs to knock on his home office door before she comes in. The relationship is very formal, which is ok. but they barely joke around and he is 20 yrs older. If feels more like father daughter then husband wife sometimes. and she is totally unaware of world events. she loves to watch soaps and local movies from their country. and there is nothing exciting about their relationship.

RacerX · Mar 12, 2011

DMV123 said:
You might want to consider intelligent vs not intelligent.

Lack of education can be fixed, lack of intelligence is lifelong.

The concept of marrying a women because she is uneducated and can be trained (like a bloody animal) is OFFENSIVE at best.

I think its more along the lines of who is ignorant, who is illiterate and who is uneducated. Of all these I think the illiterate is the most unworthy. I have a friend who told me something last night and I was saying to her it sounds like it may just be a pH problem with the water in your house. And she didnt know what pH was. I told her to search it out she made up some BS about her friend told her what it meant and I asked her "what?" She told me to look it up. See, thats ignorance. Her web brower works the same as mine. You punch in Wikipedia or anything in Google and it comes out in your language. But she felt she was better not making the effort to know what it was in order that I tell her what it meant.
Then I met a religious woman who talked that Super God stuff all the time and couldnt write a paragraph functionally in the Spanish language using the pragmatic rules of the language. Even the simplest words were misspelled and there arent many ways you can point this out to this type of person without finding yourself in the position of Castigator. Your illiteracy or incorrect grammar isnt supposed to be of concern to anybody you meet.
And then I had some female friends who willingly dropped out of school and have no concern about going back. So what do you do with them? You really cannot have in-depth conversations with them, they have no comprehensive opinions on anything, so almost all topics not related to frivolity are complex.

Now, in my opinion all 3 of these persons make bad choices for a serious mate. There is no inherent incentive to want to know more or know more. Where I am is fine and you should like what you see on the outside and not be too concerned with who the person is on the inside. Those are the concepts.

rendul said:
It may start out great = compliance & subservience but that can get really tiresome when events are happening and there is no one to share it with. Also when the physicality lessens, who are you going to talk to? Can you have an intelligent conversation? Can you make jokes that will be understood? After being married for 35 years, there is a lot more to a marriage than sex. Companionship comes from a closeness that develops over time and is made wonderful by shared interests and a sense of humor. I couldn't see myself getting together with someone I can't share my life with because he doesn't understand my humor or outside interests.

:cheeky::cheeky:

But you are also talking about the eternal aspect of love. Agape. I dont think in the Dominican Republic people know what eternal love or agape is. I think they are consumed with ephemeral and romantic ideologies of love. And those are principally short-sighted and short-lived.

Anastacio · Mar 12, 2011

If you are looking to mold a woman into something that you desire, then this only shows a sign of your own intolerable nature. If you can not be attractive to another to a point you deliberately seek an uneducated women to take advantage of, (and lets face it, if you are talking about molding a woman, this means finding a woman who will put up with your sh1t in return for some form of stability, as an educated independant woman won't) then I suggest you ignore your fathers advice and try to follow a slightly different line in terms of your love life.

On the other hand if you aim low in expectation you can't get disapointed when they are still opening cans with knives after 3 years of telling them how to use a can opener, or are unfamiliar with toilet roll.

Raise your goals buddy, this is nothing short of sad.

kdolo · Mar 12, 2011

molding ok

Anastacio said:
If you are looking to mold a woman into something that you desire, then this only shows a sign of your own intolerable nature. If you can not be attractive to another to a point you deliberately seek an uneducated women to take advantage of, (and lets face it, if you are talking about molding a woman, this means finding a woman who will put up with your sh1t in return for some form of stability, as an educated independant woman won't) then I suggest you ignore your fathers advice and try to follow a slightly different line in terms of your love life.

On the other hand if you aim low in expectation you can't get disapointed when they are still opening cans with knives after 3 years of telling them how to use a can opener, or are unfamiliar with toilet roll.

Raise your goals buddy, this is nothing short of sad.

I dont see why people are so OFFENDED at the concept of molding. In particular when the idea is of a man doing so with a woman.

Women routinely discuss molding and controlling their men . The brag about it openly. Moreover, women succeed in doing so far more often than men. So where's the offence ???

From my experience, the best relationships/ marriages have been where there is at least a 7 year age difference between the two (man older) and where the man has a bit more experience about the world than the woman.

Furthermore, to think that the male of the species can successfully take advantage of the female and succeed in doing so for long is folly. Anyone with experience knows that the female routinely has the upper hand - females - educated or not/ intelligent or not appear to have a superior social and emotional intelligence which allows them to manage men.

Case in point: the subject of this post: the step mother in question - although attached to another man, managed to convince a much older man and likely wealthier, to take her on , (she was likely pregnant with the prior man's child).

Who's the fool here ? Who's taking advantage of whom ?? Women play men and mold them far more often than the reverse - in fact civilization itself is based on this . No one complains. If a man appears to be doing it the feminazi brigade comes out in force about how "Offended they are".

skinny36 · Mar 12, 2011

DMV123 said:
You might want to consider intelligent vs not intelligent.

Lack of education can be fixed, lack of intelligence is lifelong.

The concept of marrying a women because she is uneducated and can be trained (like a bloody animal) is OFFENSIVE at best.

I totally agree....i have met a lot of extremely smart people that not educated and I have met a lot of stupid people that are educated!

xamaicano · Mar 12, 2011

There a many educated women who are indifferent to their stepchildren. Character has nothing to do with education. Obviously, what your father requires in a spouse isn't dependent on education but it would have been nice if he had considered the well being of his children when choosing a mate. Lack of education does not preclude a person from being caring.

bob saunders · Mar 12, 2011

My first wife worked as a illistrator for childrens books and was a member of the Mensa society. She was sucessful at whatever she put her mind or hands to, and she was very independent. Unfortunately her health declined in her late 30's and she died. My second wife, Dominicana, is educated and very independent, and she is a good mother and very compasionate. I couldn't imagine being in a long term relationship with someone that was not intelligent.

Manuel832 · Mar 12, 2011

kdolo said:
I dont see why people are so OFFENDED at the concept of molding. In particular when the idea is of a man doing so with a woman.

Women routinely discuss molding and controlling their men . The brag about it openly. Moreover, women succeed in doing so far more often than men. So where's the offence ???

From my experience, the best relationships/ marriages have been where there is at least a 7 year age difference between the two (man older) and where the man has a bit more experience about the world than the woman.

Furthermore, to think that the male of the species can successfully take advantage of the female and succeed in doing so for long is folly. Anyone with experience knows that the female routinely has the upper hand - females - educated or not/ intelligent or not appear to have a superior social and emotional intelligence which allows them to manage men.

Case in point: the subject of this post: the step mother in question - although attached to another man, managed to convince a much older man and likely wealthier, to take her on , (she was likely pregnant with the prior man's child).

Who's the fool here ? Who's taking advantage of whom ?? Women play men and mold them far more often than the reverse - in fact civilization itself is based on this . No one complains. If a man appears to be doing it the feminazi brigade comes out in force about how "Offended they are".

AGREED

To RacerX:

Yes I think that your observation is correct. in my Step-moms case she can't read even if she wanted to. She is completely illiterate and ignorant to many things. I believe that her difficulty expressing herself has caused many problems. I mean in comparison to her we'd be considered Einsteins. She gets mad at the smallest of things. And our culture is such that elder is always right and the young are often scolded to save the face of the elder person. its a real dimwitted system in that country and there is a limit on freedom of expression in general. You can't openly express your love to someone in public (This is a christian country too), the language is such that you have to be careful how you present things or you could end up insulting another party etc etc.

to xamaicano: You are right when you say that education has no bearing on how caring someone is. but many uneducated people how problems expressing themselves which can cause problems.

RacerX · Mar 12, 2011

kdolo said:
I dont see why people are so OFFENDED at the concept of molding. In particular when the idea is of a man doing so with a woman.

Women routinely discuss molding and controlling their men . The brag about it openly. Moreover, women succeed in doing so far more often than men. So where's the offence ???

From my experience, the best relationships/ marriages have been where there is at least a 7 year age difference between the two (man older) and where the man has a bit more experience about the world than the woman.

Furthermore, to think that the male of the species can successfully take advantage of the female and succeed in doing so for long is folly. Anyone with experience knows that the female routinely has the upper hand - females - educated or not/ intelligent or not appear to have a superior social and emotional intelligence which allows them to manage men.

Case in point: the subject of this post: the step mother in question - although attached to another man, managed to convince a much older man and likely wealthier, to take her on , (she was likely pregnant with the prior man's child).

Who's the fool here ? Who's taking advantage of whom ?? Women play men and mold them far more often than the reverse - in fact civilization itself is based on this . No one complains. If a man appears to be doing it the feminazi brigade comes out in force about how "Offended they are".

I disagree. I think this molding example is the equivalent of buying a pedigree puppy or a show horse. You put her out there to entertain you and show how "housebroken" she is because she waits on you hand and foot and does all the domesticated things you got her for.

And I dont know what planet you live on but on the one here, women do not succeed far more than men anywhere. That is a 1st World Western Hemisphere illusion. What you speak of is having a man concede power in the relationship with she who bears his children. In the DR, it does not matter if she has your children. All women are worthless. My example is I was talking to my friend last night who told me she has to get herself a boyfriend to "help her out with expenses". I told her, honestly, that is a tough sell. You are 38 years old and have 3 kids under the age of 10. You want a man to see you, like you enough to want to move in with you immediately and pay all the bills? In a world of possibilities that is most likely IMPROBABLE. I may be the bad guy but this IS the truth. The father of the children is a lawyer in Santiago and he gives her money for the kids and pays the rent and utilities for their house, but nothing for her. So what power play is she exerting over anyone? None. And still she is actually doing better than most, in that the father of the children is accomplished in his career(whatever that means) and has enough money to actually secure their well-being ad education. There are a lot of women that dont receive anything and never did. They tell the guy they are pregnant and all you see is the smoke like in a Warner Bros. cartoon.

Women NEVER have the upper hand on planet Earth, which is where I live. As easy and widely implemented as it is here to dump what you got for what you want I dont see how you can make that conclusion. There is no superior emotional or social intelligence. When he wants to mash it he will tolerate her oddities, insecurities and behavior, when he doesnt want to anymore he wont. "Papa's got a brand new bag."

And speaking of this, to tie this into the other thread, what is up with that, man? I m asking the Dominican men here. And I dont wanna hear none of that machista nonsense. THAT is a b!tch move. You gonna knock some girl up and leave her out there by herself to beg and whore?

If that dude has 20 sons with 5 women, I dont care as long as he was putting in more work than "the backstroke" which is all I see. They talk about the children they made but not what they did for the children.

mountainannie · Mar 13, 2011

RacerX said:
I disagree. I think this molding example is the equivalent of buying a pedigree puppy or a show horse. You put her out there to entertain you and show how "housebroken" she is because she waits on you hand and foot and does all the domesticated things you got her for.

And I dont know what planet you live on but on the one here, women do not succeed far more than men anywhere. That is a 1st World Western Hemisphere illusion. What you speak of is having a man concede power in the relationship with she who bears his children. In the DR, it does not matter if she has your children. All women are worthless. My example is I was talking to my friend last night who told me she has to get herself a boyfriend to "help her out with expenses". I told her, honestly, that is a tough sell. You are 38 years old and have 3 kids under the age of 10. You want a man to see you, like you enough to want to move in with you immediately and pay all the bills? In a world of possibilities that is most likely IMPROBABLE. I may be the bad guy but this IS the truth. The father of the children is a lawyer in Santiago and he gives her money for the kids and pays the rent and utilities for their house, but nothing for her. So what power play is she exerting over anyone? None. And still she is actually doing better than most, in that the father of the children is accomplished in his career(whatever that means) and has enough money to actually secure their well-being ad education. There are a lot of women that dont receive anything and never did. They tell the guy they are pregnant and all you see is the smoke like in a Warner Bros. cartoon.

Women NEVER have the upper hand on planet Earth, which is where I live. As easy and widely implemented as it is here to dump what you got for what you want I dont see how you can make that conclusion. There is no superior emotional or social intelligence. When he wants to mash it he will tolerate her oddities, insecurities and behavior, when he doesnt want to anymore he wont. "Papa's got a brand new bag."

And speaking of this, to tie this into the other thread, what is up with that, man? I m asking the Dominican men here. And I dont wanna hear none of that machista nonsense. THAT is a b!tch move. You gonna knock some girl up and leave her out there by herself to beg and whore?

If that dude has 20 sons with 5 women, I dont care as long as he was putting in more work than "the backstroke" which is all I see. They talk about the children they made but not what they did for the children.

could not give you more points yet

but it is a very good observation.. about the men bragging on how many children they have.. and so very very few of them actually take responsiblity for them

where does this come from?

Banker Bill · Mar 13, 2011

Don't Marry... a Stupid Woman

Manuel832 said:
...Anyway here is my question, is there really anything wrong with dated an woman educated? I mean men choose women for many reasons: Great body, great sex, falling in love etc etc and I respect that everyone has their taste when it comes to women. However in 3rd worlds countries like the dr hoards of women are in fact uneducated, and many times these same ones are more of a headache then they are worth. it might be difficult to find an educated woman that is humble and down to earth, knows how to cook etc etc. On the flip side you probably wouldn't have much in common, you can't have conversations with them about world events, politics and other things.

Most women think they know it all, but stupid women (who think they know it all) are worse.

-BB :bunny:

greydread · Mar 14, 2011

Stupid is as stupid does.

MelvinM · Mar 14, 2011

Hi everyone, this is my first reply here... I've been in the situation before, never been married but dated based on looks purely and I've been disapointed to say the least. Someone you can't watch a movie with? Or only comedies but can't even appreciate good comedy? Oh man, you wanna run! In my case it's time to look for more talks and less looks, I never thought I'd say that.

greydread · Mar 14, 2011

Manuel832 said:
Hi everyone,

Its nice to be posting back on DR1.

I have a very general question to ask in regards to dating women. Please keep this thread civil.

I was having a general discussion with my dad about a week ago. We were discussing our relationships and women we dated but it quickly became an argument. He is currently married to a woman from Ghana, West African that is my step-mom. She has given me many headaches in my life as step-moms normally do. She never went to school, and is uneducated but he likes her so that is his business. she has a bad attitude towards her step kids except for when it comes to her kids.

Anyway he was telling me how it would be easier to marry an uneducated women over an educated woman as it makes life easier, they are simpler and do as their told, mold them they way you want them etc etc. and i was telling him how difficult life can be with them. And I sited an example of how when he dated his current wife (what is now my step mom from hell), she was never able to help me with simple things like homework, reading, etc etc. It was at this point that he took what I said as an insult since she can't do any of the above, and because my grandparents were against them getting together from the start. however as much as my father would like to deny this, he married this woman purely on looks. how else does a man meet a woman that already has a child with someone else and she was still with the guy. they met in september 1994, she got pregnant by october, and they got married straight after. Everything happened so fast and his only excuse was he was in his 40's and older at the time. so he knew what he was doing. but i suffered under this woman. he never considered this and its so painful.

Anyway here is my question, is there really anything wrong with dated an woman educated? I mean men choose women for many reasons: Great body, great sex, falling in love etc etc and I respect that everyone has their taste when it comes to women. However in 3rd worlds countries like the dr hoards of women are in fact uneducated, and many times these same ones are more of a headache then they are worth. it might be difficult to find an educated woman that is humble and down to earth, knows how to cook etc etc. On the flip side you probably wouldn't have much in common, you can't have conversations with them about world events, politics and other things.

Your Father found what HE wanted in a Wife. Sure it would have been nice for him to consult you on the necessary qualifications for choosing a Woman with whom HE will spend the rest of HIS LIFE or he could have just waited until you were grown and gone but c'mon Man, unless she was whipping your tail and jumping up and down screaming at you for no reason you really shouldn't expect much sympathy.

Help you with your math homework? Really? If your Dad wants to come home to a big butt bush Woman who rubs his temples and cups his doo-dads just right and that is what he needs to complete his life and he can find someone who fits the bill I would suggest that you leave him be to enjoy his hard earned happinass (not misspelled).

Conversations about politics and World events are for the barber shop. Some Men like an "old fashioned" Women just like some Women prefer Men who will do all the heavy lifting, paying the bills, earning the money, providing for her material needs and showing appreciation for whatever (regardless how humble, unsophisticated or simple) attributes she does have to offer. It sounds like your Dad has a pretty good handle on his needs (as does she) and you should be very happy for him. Maybe you and your Grandparents should realize that you don't get to make those kinds of decisions on your Dad's behalf. You going to hold the fact that she's had another Man's child against him, too? He had you didn't he? They sound pretty equally yoked to me.

Dan Spinnover · Mar 17, 2011

Education has it's place, but IMHO, it's overrated. If your mate is open to new ideas in life and new experiences- I think that is the key. Of course, ideally you should be as well. And this concerns just general life... I'm not addressing such issues that are distasteful to most. If the person thinks that either: they always know more than you do (even if it turns out that they actually might), or- is not willing to experience new ideas, places, or for example, is not willing or interested in discussing news events, it can be a hard row to hoe. One big issue can be of where to live. Some ppl like the country, some like the city, suburbs, or whatever. If possible, try to reach an agreement or a set of agreements beforehand.

Would it be wise to marry an uneducated woman? or man?

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