Does the good outweigh the bad? (My Story)

EverythingJeff

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Hello All,

Before I get to my question, some background about me:

I'm 27 y/o (male) I live in the capital, and I moved here when I was 25. I'm from Canada originally (outside Toronto, Ontario). I originally came for 6 months to help transfer some company business. I lived in the Intercontinental first, then moved to an aparthotel in La Esperilla.
For those 6 months my work took care of all my expenses (except alcohol ;) ) and I continued to make my Canadian salary.
The office I work in is in Naco, and employs a majority of people my age, so finding friends wasn't an issue, and because of the area and type of work, many were socially compatible with me also.

After 3 months I knew I wanted to stay for good, and after 1 year, I finally made the transfer.

Aprill 2009 - October 2009: Canadian salary, expenses paid
November 2009 - April 2010: Canadian salary, no expenses
May 2010 - August 2010: Canadian salary, lived in Canada
Sept. 2010 - ???? : DR Salary

I explain all this to maybe help you see my lifestyle. I obviously saved a ton of cash the first months I was here, which set me up to get furniture/appliances for when I got my first apartment here. I lived in Gazcue (strangely enough, right behind the Intercontinental) and now behind Bravo on Churchill.

I go out often, I drink (no beer or wine ;) ), I party, I have a good time. My job is flexible with hours worked, and I can work from home 95% of the time if I chose.

I have a partner, which I'm sure will get you thinking "Sankie" or "chopo" but that honestly isn't the case.

My question is the following:

Basically, most of what I read on this forum is negative, and I just can't imagine why someone would choose to live in a city/province/country they don't like.

Is it that you simply use this place as a sounding board to air your grievances and really everything is OK? Are you sometimes truly miserable here?

I read about people complaining about the noise from the colmado down the street and in how the 10 years they have lived here, its never been so bad. Comments like this make me crazy because it seems like this is a NEW occurrence for these people. It was clear to me living near a place like this wasn't right for me in the first month I was here.

So, have I just had a lucky experience? I've never been robbed, never had a (scary) run in with police, never had problems where I work, and live a fun-filled life.

Does the good outweigh the bad? Why do some of you live here when it seems you are truly unhappy?

Thanks for your time, I really look forward to some responses!
 

Jenny429

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Oct 10, 2005
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Great post! I?m glad you are truly happy here. I have had the beejeezus scared out of me by a certain family member when I first got here, and I?m very cautious what I do.. But overall Ive had nothing but good experiences! I love it here!! Best of luck to you.

Jenny
 

beeza

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Nov 2, 2006
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I'm glad you opened up a new thread to start this discussion.

Personally, I love it here and good outweighs the bad by a long way for my quality of life. You are right in one respect that many people here like to vent their frustrations on this board. I'm sure if you were to meet the majority of the naysayers on a social occasion with a couple of cold Presidentes inside them, I'm sure that they would all say that they love this place too!

There will always be cultural differences no matter how long an expat lives here. I personally don't feel the need to integrate culturally. I have learned their language, accepted their customs and beliefs and have a Dominican as a partner. However, I don't want to become a Dominican. There are aspects of their nature that I don't like and still find difficult to understand. It also goes against the grain of my standard of values that go with a middle class Englishman, which is what I am.

I never want to go back to England, however I am grateful for my education, culture and social values that I feel are worth upholding.
 

ElvisNYC

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Jan 27, 2006
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It's more like people want to vent.. They desire to come to the DR and then find out western mentality or logic is not something you will find in most Latin american countries, then complain ( some try to change it and educate people ) but then they start to vent. People in the US bitc1 all the time. It's always complain, complain. I remember how people would complain about 5 people in line, while in DR you would see most people wait. There are many examples !!

I lived in NY for many years. I'm latino, btw. I have traveled to many countries. Now I live in Ecuador. This is another world ! I get frustrated here easily with lack of customer service, people don't know how to drive, barking dogs, people love using the car horn almost all the time, people arriving late or never when you expect them, people don't have change when paying for something, long lines everywhere.. etc, etc.. I just go with the flow, I don't try to change anything, because I can say that Ecuador is still in the 19th century. So is DR.. :D

Like I said, people complain but they really love it, specially those who stick to live here. It's hate/love thing.

Look at how immigrants go to the US and change their attitudes ( specially in NY) after living there a few years. It's amazing the drastic change !!
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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Everybody gets frustrated some time or another. I have spent the last 6 months declaring to everyone who will listen about how the US sucks and was told by a co-worker that if I started one more sentence with "In DR..." she was gonna make sure I got put in the ENT room for a week (I hate ENT surgery!). I don't think that anyone truly hates it or they would leave, although some can't for some reason or another. Those are the ones that MAY be serious. I just think that people are venting, just like you probably vented about Canada when you were there

SHALENA
 

EverythingJeff

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Im sure you can find something to complain about if you try hard enough

In the end, not really, if I really honestly disliked something strong enough, I would leave.... The issues I experience here are at the same level I experienced in Canada, which are just normal life hiccups, I'd guess you'd say. The difference is most of us CHOSE to move here, as opposed to being born here, so if you are unhappy, why wouldn't you leave? Do you suppose it's a partner "holding them back" (not in a negative way, you know what I mean)

I guess something I missed in my original post, was that not only do be appear to be BESIEGED by issues, but they do everything in there power to dissuade others from making the same "mistake" they did in moving here.
 

Robert

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Jan 2, 1999
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I have a partner, which I'm sure will get you thinking "Sankie" or "chopo" but that honestly isn't the case.

They will think that, because for most, that is their reality and they don't know the other side of the coin. They have never dated someone here that didn't have their hand out, with a good job, home, car, education, can travel etc.

EverythingJeff, you have a real job, you have Dominican friends, you go out and socialize, you live in a decent part of town (actually we are neighbors, I live behind La Sirena). Basically you live life like you would back home.

You will find those on this board that assimilate, love living here and have very few problems, if any. The problem is, 95% don't and never experience the "good", understand how things work and many don't have a single "true" Dominican friend.
 

jrhartley

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Sep 10, 2008
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.unfortunately no-one wants to hear good news as witnessed by good news threads started in the past that died from lack of interest......theres only so many times you can say nice things before people get bored - I went to the beach and had a perfect time or I went to the beach and was hit over the head by a coconut wielding madman , which is the more interesting story
 

Celt202

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May 22, 2004
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The day the bad outweighs the good I'm out of here.

I've been in the Dee Ah for almost nine years and I forgot to pack rose colored glasses. :D

Lots of GREAT stuff, lots of real hassles. the best mixed breed dogs* on the planet.

There's pure genius and galactic stupidity here.


*mutts
 

EverythingJeff

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They will think that, because for most, that is their reality and they don't know the other side of the coin. They have never dated someone here that didn't have their hand out, with a good job, home, car, education, can travel etc.

EverythingJeff, you have a real job, you have Dominican friends, you go out and socialize, you live in a decent part of town (actually we are neighbors, I live behind La Sirena). Basically you live life like you would back home.

You will find those on this board that assimilate, love living here and have very few problems, if any. The problem is, 95% don't and never experience the "good", understand how things work and many don't have a single "true" Dominican friend.

:( This makes me sad. I wish I could take everyone home like a puppy for a week and show them a snippet of my life. I'd be curious to see theirs as well. I guess in many ways, I must just be as ignorant to their lives as they are to mine.

My BF is the one that has a Jeep and a shared apartment with his sister (nicer then mine!) that his parents pay for. I guess this is a handout in a different way, but clearly, I'd rather have it that way then the opposite. He goes to school ~10 hours a week, but otherwise "relaxes".

Is it terrible to say that reading this message board has prevented me from interacting with foreigners here? I remember there was talk of a gathering at Twist (closed now :( ) but I couldn't bring myself to even consider going because I can't imagine what a sob fest it might have been (even though logically, I'm sure this wasn't the case). Ah well....

:) I live on M.A. Blonda... like two blocks from Bondelic. I really like it, its quiet, but I can walk for food and malls, and if I decided to not be lazy and take cabs everywhere, I here there is a bus that drops me right at the office if I needed to!
 

EverythingJeff

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Lots of GREAT stuff, lots of real hassles. the best mixed breed dogs* on the planet.
*mutts

Oh no! My Dante is sad to hear this (although everyone assumes he is a Chihuahua anyways!)

217193_10150167239324321_500054320_6425891_6486250_n.jpg


Miniature Pinscher my friends! He is now sleeping on the chair next to me with his rear aimed at my head, and his head bent uncomfortably into the cushions! :p
 

Robert

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Jan 2, 1999
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:) I live on M.A. Blonda... like two blocks from Bondelic. I really like it, its quiet, but I can walk for food and malls, and if I decided to not be lazy and take cabs everywhere, I here there is a bus that drops me right at the office if I needed to!

I'm on Viriato Fiallo, 2 blocks away :)

Sometime over the next few weeks we will be having a BBQ, it's fun and not a SOB fest :)
Usually a mix a Dominicans, Colombians and a few expats in the mix.
I'll PM you when we have a date. Come along, you'll have fun and meet some pretty interesting and connected locals.
 

La Profe_1

Moderator: Daily Headline News, Travel & Tourism
Oct 15, 2003
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I very seldom complain or vent on DR1. Have been here since 2001 and have had some issues - mostly medical - but am happy here. I have work that makes a difference for those in need and that is my reason for being in the DR.

I live in a middle-class neighborhood in Puerto Plata. There is a poor barrio nearby but that doesn't affect my life. I live among and deal with Dominicans all the time.

When I was badly injured, it was mostly Dominicans who helped to care for me; my once-a-week maid came every other day to help me with dressing changes and whatever else was necessary. Another Dominican sent food every other day since I was unable to stand long enough to cook for myself. My Dominican landlord sent his workers to clean my kitchen floor when my injury bled so badly that there it was covered in blood. The drivers from the grocery store would bring whatever I needed - even if it was just a jug of water. My regular taxi driver ferried documents from the office as needed. Everyone did what they could.

There were some expats who helped too; Ginnie did shopping for me several times, Joanne of Sam's Bar (God rest both their souls) sent food to the hospital when I was admitted with gangrene and another woman came to be with me in the emergency room of the hospital the day I was injured. That day, there were two Dominican women with me as well. I was in shock, kept blacking out and was having difficulty with speaking so having an English-speaker there was a wonderful thing. I usually manage fine in Spanish, but that day, with the shock and pain I was at a loss.

The DR for me is the place where I am happy, where I find my life pleasant and meaningful. For me, yes, the good does outweigh the bad.
 

InsanelyOne

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Oct 21, 2008
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EverythingJeff, I'd say you're experience is probably different than many. You came to the DR for work with no intent on moving here. It was only after living here for an extended period you decided to stay. It sounds like your partner is what would be considered and affluent Dominican. You also seem to be living a life somewhat similar to what you could have in Canada. You work a steady job, you have a strong social network. You live in a big city with countless options for dining, shopping, etc. For many they come here and suddenly their life is completely different that what they had back home and they find it very hard to adjust.

Once you step outside the city, things are very different. I suspect if you lived here in the east where I live you'd be bored senseless and would be dying to get back to Toronto. I also think your age has a lot to do with your ability to adapt. Many move here when they are older and more set in their ways.

I also think people do just like to complain and they use these forums as a venue. It's like anything else on the internet. You generally find more negative than positive comments on just about anything.

That said, I'm glad you've found a place that makes you happy. That's something we all wish for. For me the DR really isn't the place I want to live so I'm just waiting out the days until my partner and I can get out of here and return to the US.
 

EverythingJeff

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For many they come here and suddenly their life is completely different that what they had back home and they find it very hard to adjust.

Many move here when they are older and more set in their ways.

For me the DR really isn't the place I want to live so I'm just waiting out the days until my partner and I can get out of here and return to the US.

Thank you, this was helpful.

My question to you is: Why? Why do you think people just "show up" somewhere and except greatness? I think I'm missing a big part of this. Do you think people come for a man/woman most often?

Why do "people set in their ways" come here? How long do you think the average person stays in the country before deciding to settle down?

May I ask a bit more about your story? You have joined your Dominican partner here while you await clearance for them to enter the USA? Apologies if this is out of line, don't answer if you don't want to.

Thank you for your time!
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
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Hello All,

Before I get to my question, some background about me:

I'm 27 y/o (male) I live in the capital, and I moved here when I was 25. I'm from Canada originally (outside Toronto, Ontario). I originally came for 6 months to help transfer some company business. I lived in the Intercontinental first, then moved to an aparthotel in La Esperilla.
For those 6 months my work took care of all my expenses (except alcohol ;) ) and I continued to make my Canadian salary.
The office I work in is in Naco, and employs a majority of people my age, so finding friends wasn't an issue, and because of the area and type of work, many were socially compatible with me also.

After 3 months I knew I wanted to stay for good, and after 1 year, I finally made the transfer.

Aprill 2009 - October 2009: Canadian salary, expenses paid
November 2009 - April 2010: Canadian salary, no expenses
May 2010 - August 2010: Canadian salary, lived in Canada
Sept. 2010 - ???? : DR Salary

I explain all this to maybe help you see my lifestyle. I obviously saved a ton of cash the first months I was here, which set me up to get furniture/appliances for when I got my first apartment here. I lived in Gazcue (strangely enough, right behind the Intercontinental) and now behind Bravo on Churchill.

I go out often, I drink (no beer or wine ;) ), I party, I have a good time. My job is flexible with hours worked, and I can work from home 95% of the time if I chose.

I have a partner, which I'm sure will get you thinking "Sankie" or "chopo" but that honestly isn't the case.

My question is the following:

Basically, most of what I read on this forum is negative, and I just can't imagine why someone would choose to live in a city/province/country they don't like.

Is it that you simply use this place as a sounding board to air your grievances and really everything is OK? Are you sometimes truly miserable here?

I read about people complaining about the noise from the colmado down the street and in how the 10 years they have lived here, its never been so bad. Comments like this make me crazy because it seems like this is a NEW occurrence for these people. It was clear to me living near a place like this wasn't right for me in the first month I was here.

So, have I just had a lucky experience? I've never been robbed, never had a (scary) run in with police, never had problems where I work, and live a fun-filled life.

Does the good outweigh the bad? Why do some of you live here when it seems you are truly unhappy?

Thanks for your time, I really look forward to some responses!

OK, I ll call it. BS! If EVERYTHING is fine and dandy and "nothing to complain about" then I think you are either setting the bar too low or you are NOT an interesting person at all. I mean it. The level of acceptance you have is related to the life you live. If you aspire to sit on the beach drinking "bien fria" then **** who can find anything wrong with that? The more complicated you want your life to be the less pleasure you will have with your daily occurrences. If you wake up in the morning and your greatest concern is if you will have water pressure to shower then you are not, NOT anyone I would want to hang out with. And if you turn on the shower and the water is good and you finish and then go to the beach sit in a table or a stool or a bench and eat fried eggs and mangu for breakfast and then half a chicken and red beans for lunch with a cold beer an THEN break into song, but not any song, THIS specific song "Everything is Beautiful" by Ray Stevens. I GUARANTEE I WOULD NEVER BEEN SEEN IN THE SAME CITY WITH YOU! I would badmouth you every chance I get. People would mention your name and I would say "Damn fruitbat!"

Who cares if the good outweighs the bad? Who cares what the bad is? People like variety. Some dudes like Lawrence Welk and others like Malcolm McLaren. To be "OK" is as subjective as you can get.
 

CaptnGlenn

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Mar 29, 2010
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OK, I ll call it. BS! If EVERYTHING is fine and dandy and "nothing to complain about" then I think you are either setting the bar too low or you are NOT an interesting person at all. I mean it. The level of acceptance you have is related to the life you live. If you aspire to sit on the beach drinking "bien fria" then **** who can find anything wrong with that? The more complicated you want your life to be the less pleasure you will have with your daily occurrences. If you wake up in the morning and your greatest concern is if you will have water pressure to shower then you are not, NOT anyone I would want to hang out with. And if you turn on the shower and the water is good and you finish and then go to the beach sit in a table or a stool or a bench and eat fried eggs and mangu for breakfast and then half a chicken and red beans for lunch with a cold beer an THEN break into song, but not any song, THIS specific song "Everything is Beautiful" by Ray Stevens. I GUARANTEE I WOULD NEVER BEEN SEEN IN THE SAME CITY WITH YOU! I would badmouth you every chance I get. People would mention your name and I would say "Damn fruitbat!"

Who cares if the good outweighs the bad? Who cares what the bad is? People like variety. Some dudes like Lawrence Welk and others like Malcolm McLaren. To be "OK" is as subjective as you can get.


OK.. I have NO idea what the hell you're talking about! Just because someone is happy and content that makes them uninteresting??? Only malcontent, whining, S.O.B.s who hate their life are the interesting people in the world???

I guess "interesting" like "beauty" is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone has the right to their own opinion of what (or who) is interesting or not... but you seem to have a particularly unique take on the subject.