Emergency help !

Where?

AmericanGirl20 said:

I am having lots of trouble making friends here ...

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Where is here?

donP

Have you spoken to your parents about changing schools so you can be around some nicer kids. I have some native friends with kids arounds your age and you couldn't wish to meet and nicer more well brought up bunch anywhere. This really is an issue for your parents to help you overcome, if you are not feeling included in your school, ask them to consider a shift.
If you go to the correct school then your feelow students will not be jealous of you, they will probably have more than you, take this up with mum and dad, tell them this is effecting you as much as it is. You are young, this really is up to your parents to resolve for you.

This could be a wind up, if it is it is a pretty strange one, but since you are a kid I will presume innocent until proven otherwise!

Where do you live?
Listen, I know it is hard making friends and sometimes people get jealous because they are insecure. Don't worry about them just do your best in school. Have you talked to your parents? Also, I know its hard but try to learn a little Spanish. If you want, you can PM me and I will speak to your parents to see if it is ok if you talk on the phone with my daughter. She will be 12 in August and loves to make new friends. We will be back in DR next year and if you live in Santiago or near, you can have a new friend! She speaks English but doesn't know any French, maybe you can teach her some! Keep a positive attitude, it gets better and you sound like a very nice girl. My name is Miss Shalena! Nice to meet you!

SHALENA

I just realized that you posted this in the Santo Domingo forum, I am guessing that you live in the capital?

SHALENA

I have seen this before.
Forget your old life.
Try and observe before joining in.
They are not fake but they put on an act for you.
Be generous - in small things - if you have some sweets share them etc.
Applaud what they do well, sports, dancing, clothes etc.
Try and work out how they regard each other - is there an order - is there a leader in the group?
How can you contribute - birthday party perhaps?
Maybe one wants to learn english - make up a sheet with english and spanish words / phrases.
In very few places will you find a truly US life.
In the old days it used to be pen - pals now internet facebook pals - try and find international friends with great care that you can share experiences with.
To some extent you have difficulties now but you are setting out in life with huge potential advantages.
Yanandu

AmericanGirl20 said:

Heeey... I am 12 going to 13 american, I am having lots of trouble making friends here aranoid::ermm::tired: and its kinda getting me mad because beause never in my life I never had friends! I know the problem isnt me its jjst the dominicans in my school they are kind of jealous because of all the things I have and they like to cause problems and make you feel bad about yourself and very excluse and are very very hypocritical with eachother not trustworty and they are all fake and just want something for you , the world does not revolve around me so I was look on how I could make this work since I DONT really know spanish as well i dont want to join certain activities so the same problems dont repeat! I would just like to meet some foreigners most likely americans or people who speak french and english (my two fluent languages) or if any of you have daughters around my age or know any activities that mostly have americans I would really very much be happy! please help me asap im suffering here!:classic:..:ermm:

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AmericanGirl20 said:

Heeey... I am 12 going to 13 american, I am having lots of trouble making friends here aranoid::ermm::tired: and its kinda getting me mad because beause never in my life I never had friends! I know the problem isnt me its jjst the dominicans in my school they are kind of jealous because of all the things I have and they like to cause problems and make you feel bad about yourself and very excluse and are very very hypocritical with eachother not trustworty and they are all fake and just want something for you , the world does not revolve around me so I was look on how I could make this work since I DONT really know spanish as well i dont want to join certain activities so the same problems dont repeat! I would just like to meet some foreigners most likely americans or people who speak french and english (my two fluent languages) or if any of you have daughters around my age or know any activities that mostly have americans I would really very much be happy! please help me asap im suffering here!:classic:..:ermm:

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I just found the problem and it's you!

You have to admit first that you're being too harsh on your fellow classmates and there's no way in a billion years that they're all as you described them to be!

You already judged them and decided that they are not worthy to be your friends at all, that tells me the problem lies with the attitude you have taken and not their shortcomings as friends.

Friendships in school are based on trust and hard work, not on what you have, how you dress, how well to do your family is or anything of that sort.

Try a bit harder and you'll earn a ton of new friends at you new school and hood!
Don't judge others when you don't even know them enough to do that!

Please tell us where you live. It appears there are many people who would like to help you overcome your situation. I am an american and my wife is there for a short time visiting her family and she has alot of relatives around your age who would be more than happy to talk to you and help you adjust if they are near where you live.

longtimer said:

Please tell us where you live. It appears there are many people who would like to help you overcome your situation. I am an american and my wife is there for a short time visiting her family and she has alot of relatives around your age who would be more than happy to talk to you and help you adjust if they are near where you live.

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You are creepy. Let this be a 'What Not To Do' lesson.

PICHARDO said:

I just found the problem and it's you!

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She's 12 for Goodness sake! Show some compassion or either return to college and re-take the class called "Life Span and Human Development", it is a general ed requirement in most major universities.

SHALENA

HONEY, YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM! I THINK THAT YOU ARE JUST HAVING A HARD TIME ADJUSTING. IT'S VERY HARD FOR EVEN ADULTS TO ADJUST IN A NEW COUNTRY, LET ALONE A CHILD.
I DO THINK THAT ONCE YOU FEEL MORE SECURE IN YOURSELF, THAT SECURITY WILL RADIATE TO OTHERS AND YOU WILL HAVE TONS OF FRIENDS IN NO TIME!
THE SITUATION IS THE PROBLEM.....NOT YOU! OK?!?

Sweetie, I remember when we moved from one area to another during my first year in middle school. The school "bully" would pick on me every day until one day I stood up to her, and then she wanted to be my friend. I declined the offer. The point being, give it some time, try to integrate yourself a little bit more (you mentioned that you did not want to join in on certain activities-that really may not be the best way to help the situation) take some "baby steps" to let them know you want to be friends, but I really do suggest that you speak with your parents about how you are feeling and perhaps if possible they could discuss it with school officials and see if they have any suggestions. But remember making friends at your age is something we can all remember as being tough, but in the end, kids are kids no matter the situation and it will work itself out in time, but please communicate your feelings with your parents and remember that all relationships have to be give and take from both sides. Good luck and thanks for giving us the opportunity to offer our suggestions.

Don't listen to PICHARDO, he has his own issues!

This is ideally a job for your parents, not this board.
You need to sit down with them and talk about what you're going through etc.

But...

We have posters on this board that have kids around your age living in Santo Domingo.
I'm sure they will PM you and help you to adjust to life here a little easier.
Actually, send a PM to Juanita, she speaks English/French and so does her daughter who is around your age. They are both really cool and I'm sure can help you out.

Also...

Do me a favor, PM or email me if anyone starts sounding a little creepy.

Closed.