Problems with my dominican girlfriend

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shawn27

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Hi. I had posted about a month ago about the problems I had been having with my dominican girlfriend. My trip there several weeks ago didn't go well at all... She pretty much said that drinks, trips, gifts etc weren't enough, that she needed a commitment. I can't give her that.

I've actually decided that I'm going to choose another spot to go to for awhile.. Dominican women are my weakness, my trips there are just so intense, I can't even describe it. Even on a friendship level I feel that some dominicans toy with extrajeros and play on to weaknesses. I just need to take a break from going there so often and focus on finding love in my own backyard.... :bored:
 
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donP

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Dec 14, 2008
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Good Decision

shawn27 said:
Hi. I had posted about a month ago about the problems I had been having with my dominican girlfriend. My trip there several weeks ago didn't go well at all... She pretty much said that drinks, trips, gifts etc weren't enough, that she needed a commitment. I can't give her that.

I've actually decided that I'm going to choose another spot to go to for awhile.. Dominican women are my weakness, my trips there are just so intense, I can't even describe it. Even on a friendship level I feel that some dominicans toy with extrajeros and play on to weaknesses. I just need to take a break from going there so often and focus on finding love in my own backyard.... :bored:
Click to expand...

And thus your problem is solved. :cool:
Well done.

donP
 
Bronxboy

Bronxboy

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2007
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shawn27 said:
focus on finding love in my own backyard....
Click to expand...

Yes, yes and yes.

DR is for fun and excitement and there it should stay.

You want to spend tons of money, do it closer to home and make it worth your while.

Hard lesson learned. If I was right next to you, I would give you a pat in the back. :)
 
Africaida

Africaida

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Jun 19, 2009
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shawn27 said:
Hi. I had posted about a month ago about the problems I had been having with my dominican girlfriend. My trip there several weeks ago didn't go well at all... She pretty much said that drinks, trips, gifts etc weren't enough, that she needed a commitment. I can't give her that.

I've actually decided that I'm going to choose another spot to go to for awhile.. Dominican women are my weakness, my trips there are just so intense, I can't even describe it. Even on a friendship level I feel that some dominicans toy with extrajeros and play on to weaknesses. I just need to take a break from going there so often and focus on finding love in my own backyard.... :bored:
Click to expand...

The C word ! Lol !

The world is a big place with beauty all over :)

Just to let you know, you may be confronted with the C word again, even in your own backyard ;)

Good luck to you !
 
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shawn27

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I'm ready for commitment, but with someone in the US. There's actually this girl that works in the same building as me, everytime we cross paths in the elevator she always smiles.. she's not wearing a wedding ring so next time I see her I'll ask her out. Who knows, maybe someday I'll take her to DR...
 
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Yayow

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Yeah good luck, but even with your elevator friend take it easy, I am sure you already know this. Commitment takes time and just as the word stands for, you shouldn't do it, until you are ready (whether here or your native land). Don't get pushed into anything by anyone, not your parents, relatives or friends. When you are ready and it is right for you, that's when you take the plunge and commit your life to someone else. You should never do that based on a few visits to a place, I believe you need to know so much more about the person, as they say the good, the bad and the ugly.

As far as some Dominicanas the operative word being "some", an ex-pat friend of mine, who had lived in the country now approximately 12 yrs, told me this a few years back when I first moved down to Santo Domingo. I almost hesitate to say what I am about to say because I know that some will be offended, but here goes nothing.

Anyway I think I was complaining about some young lady I was dealing with at the time, and he sat me down and told me two things, the first thing he said was: Dominicans take kindness as a sign of weakness, and therefore often times when you are nice, they will try and push the envelope to see just how far they can get you to go, and what they can get from you. After he said that he told me that many Dominicans don't feel bad about doing that because they feel that they deserve whatever they can get from you, the rationale being that they have so little and you have so much, so you should essentially be happy to give them whatever you can.

Ok now having said that to try and put out the fire, the operative word is "some", and I have met many Dominicans both male and females who don't want anything from you, and will actually give you whatever they have even when they don't have much, but I have met a few of the others as well.
 
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Alyonka

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Jun 3, 2006
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Yayow said:
Anyway I think I was complaining about some young lady I was dealing with at the time, and he sat me down and told me two things, the first thing he said was: Dominicans take kindness as a sign of weakness, and therefore often times when you are nice, they will try and push the envelope to see just how far they can get you to go, and what they can get from you. After he said that he told me that many Dominicans don't feel bad about doing that because they feel that they deserve whatever they can get from you, the rationale being that they have so little and you have so much, so you should essentially be happy to give them whatever you can.
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A lot of people think this way, not just Dominicans. They would rather deal with someone selfish and self-centered because it seems to be the norm.
 
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greydread

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Jan 3, 2007
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shawn27 said:
Hi. I had posted about a month ago about the problems I had been having with my dominican girlfriend. My trip there several weeks ago didn't go well at all... She pretty much said that drinks, trips, gifts etc weren't enough, that she needed a commitment. I can't give her that.

I've actually decided that I'm going to choose another spot to go to for awhile.. Dominican women are my weakness, my trips there are just so intense, I can't even describe it. Even on a friendship level I feel that some dominicans toy with extrajeros and play on to weaknesses. I just need to take a break from going there so often and focus on finding love in my own backyard.... :bored:
Click to expand...

Bro,

C'mon Son. In what nation on Earth do you expect to find a Woman who is willing to stop her life because you happen to be in town and not expect some level of commitment from you? You sound like Eddie Murphy looking for M'fufu. If you try that "drinks, trips, gifts, etc." deal with a 'round the way Girl she will play you as well. Guys on vacation looking for a little GFE have a million options and none of them involve any more commitment than halp with the rent.

It's not fair to waste the best years of a young Woman's life waiting for you to show up on vacation only to disappear into the friendly skies and leave her with nothing but a question mark.

I swear y'all should go rent "The Other Side of Midnight" and watch it this weekend. It's a primer on how to turn a good Girl bad.

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JwU470yfQLk?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JwU470yfQLk?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
 
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shawn27

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May 24, 2010
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Yayow said:
Yeah good luck, but even with your elevator friend take it easy, I am sure you already know this. Commitment takes time and just as the word stands for, you shouldn't do it, until you are ready (whether here or your native land). Don't get pushed into anything by anyone, not your parents, relatives or friends. When you are ready and it is right for you, that's when you take the plunge and commit your life to someone else. You should never do that based on a few visits to a place, I believe you need to know so much more about the person, as they say the good, the bad and the ugly.

As far as some Dominicanas the operative word being "some", an ex-pat friend of mine, who had lived in the country now approximately 12 yrs, told me this a few years back when I first moved down to Santo Domingo. I almost hesitate to say what I am about to say because I know that some will be offended, but here goes nothing.

Anyway I think I was complaining about some young lady I was dealing with at the time, and he sat me down and told me two things, the first thing he said was: Dominicans take kindness as a sign of weakness, and therefore often times when you are nice, they will try and push the envelope to see just how far they can get you to go, and what they can get from you. After he said that he told me that many Dominicans don't feel bad about doing that because they feel that they deserve whatever they can get from you, the rationale being that they have so little and you have so much, so you should essentially be happy to give them whatever you can.

Ok now having said that to try and put out the fire, the operative word is "some", and I have met many Dominicans both male and females who don't want anything from you, and will actually give you whatever they have even when they don't have much, but I have met a few of the others as well.
Click to expand...

I like the part about how some dominicans justify asking or money. I have heard that before when they say that they have so little etc. I definitely appreciate all the positive feedback. I love this site!
 
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Alyonka

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Jun 3, 2006
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But what do you people mean by "commitment" - marriage? engagement? If you never actually considered any of this - why even start dating? That is why Dominican girls call Americans "liars" - that is totally true. You are just using people for your own personal benefit and then get rid of them if they ask for a "commitment."
 
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shawn27

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May 24, 2010
427
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greydread said:
Bro,

C'mon Son. In what nation on Earth do you expect to find a Woman who is willing to stop her life because you happen to be in town and not expect some level of commitment from you? You sound like Eddie Murphy looking for M'fufu. If you try that "drinks, trips, gifts, etc." deal with a 'round the way Girl she will play you as well. Guys on vacation looking for a little GFE have a million options and none of them involve any more commitment than halp with the rent.

It's not fair to waste the best years of a young Woman's life waiting for you to show up on vacation only to disappear into the friendly skies and leave her with nothing but a question mark.

I swear y'all should go rent "The Other Side of Midnight" and watch it this weekend. It's a primer on how to turn a good Girl bad.

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JwU470yfQLk?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JwU470yfQLk?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
Click to expand...

Never expected her to wait for me. We were free to date other people. If she had been dating someone during one of my visits I would've backed off. I didn't see anything wrong with what we had, we were kinda like special friends..
 
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shawn27

New member
May 24, 2010
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No not at all.. Besides if American guys mistreat Dominicanas I can only imagine the relationships between Dominicanos.. We were friends with benefits pretty much. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with the same girl when one goes on vacation.
 
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bri777

Bronze
Sep 11, 2010
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well
friends with benefits usually means you agree with each other on certain things

no one asks for money or commitment
Manu
 
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slas7713

Member
Aug 9, 2004
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How can you not read this thread with the title "Problems with my Dominican Girlfriend". The topic flooded me with sooo many memories, ahh.

For extranjeros it can be quite intense. Especially when they're introducing you as their esposo after two days. Usually you can get your quick divorce for a can of milk for the kid and a couple of thousand pesos.

Be careful, if you stay for long it will suck you in for good but I have to say in all honesty than I am happy with my Dominican familia. It was time for me to settle down anyway.
 
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