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Thread: Visiting In-Laws for First Time

  1. #1
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    Question Visiting In-Laws for First Time

    Hello everyone!

    I wanted to introduce myself and ask a question. I have been reading DR1 for a short while, and was directed here by my daughter, who has lived in the DR off and on for a couple of years.

    My daughter married a Dominican several years ago. We know our SIL quite well, and adore our grandchildren. My husband and I are going to visit the DR for the first time. Can anyone give me advice on gifts to bring? There are the parents, some adult sisters, some small children besides my grandchildren (all under 3 years old), and my son-in-law. I know they are roasting a pig for our arrival, which I understand is a great honor. I also know they have looked forward to us visiting, and asked us to visit from day 1.

    They have arranged for us to stay in a nearby hotel, which we will pay for. We will be spending the days with them, and they will provide all of our meals. We expect to contribute some money for food, but we don't have a clue about that, either. How much is appropriate for 2 adults for a 2 week visit?

    I know the father is well respected in the community, and they are a family of some prominence. I expect we will be expected to socialize somewhat, but neither of us speak Spanish. I know my daughter will help me out with that aspect, and I'm sure my son-in-law will help my husband when appropriate. My husband is not well. He may not be up to attending evening gatherings, and needs a lot of sleep. His main reason for the visit is to see his grandchildren. I realize I will be expected to go a bit beyond hanging around the house with the kids, so I would like some direction on what I can expect, and what is expected of me. If there is already a thread about this?

    Thank you in advance.

    Meadow in Atlanta

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    Meadow,
    a lot depends on the family's financial situation and where they live.
    can you elaborate? roasting a pig in your honor might be done outside a family's wooden shack on plastic chairs passing around a bottle of rum OR at an expensive social club with top shelf drinks. the gifts you bring, what you might expect 'beyond hanging around a bit', etc will depend a lot on the socio-economic status of the family

    regardless of the situation, i suspect you'll thoroughly enjoy your time here!

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  4. #3
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    As CFA said a lot depends on their situation. I have always ended up paying for the pig (around $50-100 USD depending on size) but a pig roast is a definite celebration. They will be inviting a lot of family to see you and some may come from a distance. Gifts for the kids is easy, Barbies, books with colored pencils and baseballs to start. For the adults it does depend on their economics. The pig roast will be lots of hanging out and meeting peoples. Find you husband some shade and a few bottles of cold water to keep him comfortable. It can be a lot of fun.

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    Why don't you just ask your daughter? If she's been involved with this family for some time now she will know what's appropriate for each person.

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    They are not independently wealthy, but by DR standards, they are very well off. They own a 3 bedroom home in a small town. They own a car. The father works at the local school. The mother doesn't work, but cooks a lot, and cares for 2 of her small grandchildren. They employ a maid and a nanny. Truth be told, they probably live better than we do in comparison.

    Yes, I have gotten the impression that this is a pretty big deal. I don't think my husband understands that, but doesn't have the stamina to do a lot anyway. I think it will be up to me to represent the United States branch of the family. I don't want to unwittingly embarrass my DR relatives in any way.

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    I have spoken with my daughter somewhat about this, but would like others' views as well. But my big question is about gifts. Can you give me specific recommendations? What would they want from the United States? They have never been here. I don't want to get them something they could easily buy on a shopping trip to the nearest city. For the kids, maybe. As small as they are, they just want toys. But I would like to get the adults something that will make them happy. We are not rich, but I would like to give them some sort of souvenir they will keep and enjoy, and I realize they will probably show it off to their friends if it's something they are proud of.

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    ...and this is why I said talk to your daughter, because she should know each one of these people. For instance a good gift can be a nice bottle of whisky or for the women a bottle of NUVO or a perfume (Yes they could buy these in stores in The DR, but they're very expensive), but what if the person doesn't drink or doesn't like whisky?...and of course when it comes to perfumes you better know the other person's taste. Your daughter would know those little details.

  11. #8
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    1) Where are you going?
    2) Nobody that works at a school is wealthy
    3) If you take gifts, take quality items for parents, less expensive for the sisters. If you can afford the weight, take a good cooking utensil (cast iron skillet?), a quality ball point pen or a briefcase or computer case or even a small tablet--but a lot depends on where you are going (#1) since if there is no WIFI, or internet in the house it's not worth much. Kids: books like the I Spy series, puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, NOT electronic games...Crocs are good for all (even the rip-offs)....Some of your favorite spices and show Mama how to use them-Dominican cooking can be boring without some inventiveness.

    Once we know where you are going, we can perhaps help a bit more....it will be different...

    HB

    Moderator DR1.com

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  13. #9
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    I'm going to Cabrera.

    I'm not sure about a skillet, but it's a great suggestion. I'll see about packing that much weight. We have to pay for each piece of baggage we take on Delta.

    I like the idea of spices! I'm not familiar enough with what they do and don't have there to know what would be appreciated. Can you offer some suggestions? Also, will this cause problems with getting through customs? I've never traveled internationally before, so I don't know what to expect with that, either.

    I also think a nice pen would be good for the father.

    Interesting about the Crocs. I have read on here that they are good to bring, but my daughter says that only Americans wear them. Is it true that Dominicans are very conscious about footwear?

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    Yes, they are very footwear conscious, I took a pair for a daughter and the aunt wouldn't let her wear it outside the house.

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