Red Lobster

belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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I heard from a very reliable source, Red Lobster is going to open its first outlet on the NC, and this in Cabarete.

They have bought the "El Pescador" restaurant, and will start transforming it in the upcoming weeks. The timeline is to be ready around October, so they can test-run and finetune before the next high season starts.

Red Lobster is planning on flying in its Maine Lobsters. As this is very costly, they plan a huge sunken lobstertank in the middle of the restaurant, in order to reduce flights. The tank would be able to hold up to 1,000 lobsters. Customers will be given the chance to catch their own lobster.

They are also planning on creating some new, cheaper dishes using the local shrimp and lagostina to accomodate the local market as well.

There will be a press release on Tuesday.

BelgianK
 

belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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The same source told me, they have also reached an agreement with Conchman, to store up to 5,000 lobsters in the basins of Ocean World... whoehaaaaa!!!!

BelgianK
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Let me add to this true story by stating that, i have it from a very reliable source, that the lobster tank in the middle of the restaurant will also have great white sharks swimming around the inside of the tank in order to make catching the lobsters more of a challenge. It's been proposed that people will only be given a pair of tongs to dive into the tank with. with tongs in hand, they will dive down and grab the lobster of their choice while navigating around, and serpentining from the Great White sharks who have not been fed in a fortnight. if you survive the dive, you will be given a 10% discount on your next shot of tequila.

It's also been established that before diving, a small prick in your thigh will be done in order that you bleed ever so slightly in order to attract the sharks from their sleepy slumber.

More news forthcoming!

Frank
 

belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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Let me add to this true story by stating that, i have it from a very reliable source, that the lobster tank in the middle of the restaurant will also have great white sharks swimming around the inside of the tank in order to make catching the lobsters more of a challenge. It's been proposed that people will only be given a pair of tongs to dive into the tank with. with tongs in hand, they will dive down and grab the lobster of their choice while navigating around, and serpentining from the Great White sharks who have not been fed in a fortnight. if you survive the dive, you will be given a 10% discount on your next shot of tequila.

It's also been established that before diving, a small prick in your thigh will be done in order that you bleed ever so slightly in order to attract the sharks from their sleepy slumber.

More news forthcoming!

Frank

My source verified this, and added some great specials as well.

If you would happen to get into a fight with a white shark, there are 2 possible, great value vouchers to win:
- if you win, you will get a voucher to eat fresh white shark fin soup for free, for as long as the fins of the shark last...
- if you lose, your whole party will get a 10% discount on their meals (drinks not included, as the celebration might be too big...)
- after 3 consecutive wins, you will get a voucher for a free holiday to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, where you will be invited to swim amongst the sharks, without a cage, a slowly seeping bag full of blood, strapped on your back. This will be the highlight of your life.

BelgianK
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
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I just re-verified your source and i'm happy to report that you are absolutely correct, however, some Amendments have been added to spice up the Early Bird Special between 5pm and 8pm. The Amendments recently added are here:
1. For an extra 10% discount, you throw your wife into the tank to retrieve lobsters.
2. for an extra 15% discount, you throw your mother-in-law into the tank t retrieve lobsters.
3. for an extra 20% discount, you throw both your wife and mother-in-law into the tank together to retrieve lobsters.
4. for an extra 30% discount, you throw your wife and mother-in-law into the tank while on their periods to retrieve lobsters.
5. for an extra 40% discount, you dangle your wife and mother-in-law over the tank for 30 minutes, while blood runs down their legs and drips into the tank...before being made to dive into the tank to retrieve lobsters.
6. for an extra 50% discount, you throw a motoconcho, a shoe-shine boy, a beach jewelry salesman, a hair-braider, a blind man, and a thief into the tank, but only after you've thrown in your mother-in-law and wife to retrieve lobsters.


The rest of the list are coming later...or feel free to add to it! I'm at work now, sitting at the bar. I got to change a channel.

Frank
 

belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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7. On Sports Night, they will remove the white sharks to another basin. On that night (men only) you will be challenged to catch your lobster, between your knees. It might seem easy, but all claws will be released from their plastic bands. Bets from other customers will be accepted, and as Red Lobster is an equal opportunity restaurant, you will share in the profits. The rules are easy... dive into the tank, stark naked, catch a lobster between your knees, no hands allowed, and bring it out of the tank. Disqualification is immediate with the first scream. If you succeed, you will not only share in the betting profits, but you will enjoy a free lobster meal, and get a complimentary tube of cream against bruising...

8. Women's night. Pretty much the same as above, but they have to catch the lobster with their breasts. Rules, and rewards are the same.

BelgianK
 

belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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Just got an update...

On Sports Night they will play the nutcracker suite by Tsjaiskovski...

And they will also be using the second basin with the white sharks...

A preview from their press release on Tuesday, but pls keep it a secret...

"On top of our "Nutcracker Lobster Fishing", we will offer more macho sports games. Forget about Beer Pong, and join us at the Ultimate Red Lobster Sports Bar! The place where we seperate the men from the boys! Earn the everlasting respect from your friends, girlfriends, and fellow country men! Play our patented and unique SHARK PONG Tournament!!!

The game? You and your opponent will enter the shark basin, divided by a volleybalnet. The purpose is to play volleybal, with a freshly slaughtered cows head. Normal rules of volleybal apply. The last one alive, will go on to the next round.

The final winner will receive an astonishing 1,000.000 $ in prize-money at the end of the season.

Applicants must comply with the following rules:
- Applicants over 300 lbs will be refused, as we do not want to overfeed the sharks.
- Applicants will have to sign a waiver in which they state that, in no way, Red Lobster Shark Pong, helped in their early demise.
- Applicants will sign a purely hypothetical form, drawn up by our shark laywers, willing all their worldly belongings to Red Lobster Shark Pong LTD...
- The number of applicants is limited to 128 participants.
- The competition will last from November 1st to January 31st.
- If only 1 competitor remains before afore mentioned date, he will be asked to play with the cows head, tipping it on his fingers, for 1 hour, during every week remaining. The cows head will have to be in the air, the majority of the time.
- If no competitor remains by January 31st, the 1,000,000$ prize money will be awarded to the original founders of Red Lobster Shark Pong.

Applications will be accepted from April 1st onwards... Hurry, as places are limited."

BelgianK
 

waytogo

Moderator - North Coast Forum
Apr 3, 2009
6,407
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Santiago DR
I heard from a very reliable source, Red Lobster is going to open its first outlet on the NC, and this in Cabarete.

They have bought the "El Pescador" restaurant, and will start transforming it in the upcoming weeks. The timeline is to be ready around October, so they can test-run and finetune before the next high season starts.

Red Lobster is planning on flying in its Maine Lobsters. As this is very costly, they plan a huge sunken lobstertank in the middle of the restaurant, in order to reduce flights. The tank would be able to hold up to 1,000 lobsters. Customers will be given the chance to catch their own lobster.

They are also planning on creating some new, cheaper dishes using the local shrimp and lagostina to accomodate the local market as well.

There will be a press release on Tuesday.

BelgianK

On reading I thought it was for real, how dumb am I.......
Now, I am disappointed, halfway through, my mouth was starting to water.......damn...

B in Santiago
 

belgiank

Silver
Jun 13, 2009
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On reading I thought it was for real, how dumb am I.......
Now, I am disappointed, halfway through, my mouth was starting to water.......damn...

B in Santiago

My mouth was watering when I wrote it, even knowing it was not true...

BelgianK
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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There Are Two Things That Smell Like Fish.

And,............ONE of them is fish! :cheeky:

What did the blind man say as he walked by the fish market???????
"Hello Girls"!

Anybody know where I can get a few gallons of "Lymisol" on a Sunday afternoon?
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Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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"Woodman's","Lobster-In-The-Rough!
But what about "Old Kelly's" on Revere Beach Parkway????
"Buzzy's Famous Roast Beef" at Charles Circle ,DRUNK,at 3 AM????
Legal Seafood,when you ate on picknick tables all in a row,in Cambridge.
"Life Was Good Then"!
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And so were the nursing students at the "MGH"!
 

Jumbo

Bronze
Jul 8, 2005
1,503
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"Woodman's","Lobster-In-The-Rough!
But what about "Old Kelly's" on Revere Beach Parkway????
"Buzzy's Famous Roast Beef" at Charles Circle ,DRUNK,at 3 AM????
Legal Seafood,when you ate on picknick tables all in a row,in Cambridge.
"Life Was Good Then"!
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And so were the nursing students at the "MGH"!

You left out the " No Name " when it was BYOB.

FYI CC, a couple a thursdays ago it was 83 degrees in Bawstin and senior skip day. Revere beach had hundreds a 18 yr old guidettes walking around in thongs and high heels. Looked like an episode of Jersey Shore.