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sarah1101

New member
Apr 27, 2012
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Hi, I am Sarah. I have been on this site before but did not sign up until today. I just returned from a 3 1/2 week trip to DR with my Boyfriend and 4 kids. I am a Gringa but he is Dominican and his mother is still there, this was my 2nd time going to visit her and his 2nd time since he left about 10 years ago. We have 5 kids total, he has one from a previous marriage, we have 2 together and I have 2 from another marriage which he is raising as his they are 10 years old to 1 year old. We allowed the 1 year old to stay with her grand mother and I will be returning to get her in June, I miss her like crazy and cannot wait for these two months to fly by. I was so happy to take my children to DR and have them expirence the culture first hand, we only speak English in the hosue because it is the 'easy' thing to do and I hope to change that going further.
I have been to Santo Domingo, Boni, Santiago, Puerto Plata, Samana, Villa Altagracia, Boca Chica and many other small towns as we like to make day trips to explore the country since he bearly left his small town when he was growing up. I have to say I LOVE DR :)
 

La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
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Welcome to DR1.

Kudos to you for having the strength to leave the little one with grandma, it's a tough thing to do, I know.

I cried myself to sleep every night the first time my son went without me. He was 4 and went in July, when he started school in August they thought he didn't speak English, although when he left to the DR he didn't speak Spanish! (Well, and who knows with 4 year olds anyway?)

Can only imagine what packing is like for two adults and 5 kids!!!
 

TStroman3

New member
Sep 11, 2011
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Welcome Sarah- you are in for a lot of lively discussions and some great laughs but most of all, great information on the DR from the experts!
 

CaptnGlenn

Silver
Mar 29, 2010
2,321
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I'm just curious about why the 1 year old??? (NOT judging at all.) Seems like one of the little bit older ones might get more from the experience. Just wondering if there's something I'm missing, or if it's more common to for the infants to have extended visits as opposed to older children.
 

La Rubia

Bronze
Jan 1, 2010
1,336
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0
I'm just curious about why the 1 year old??? (NOT judging at all.) Seems like one of the little bit older ones might get more from the experience. Just wondering if there's something I'm missing, or if it's more common to for the infants to have extended visits as opposed to older children.

Likely older kids are in school at this time of year.
 

mountainannie

Platinum
Dec 11, 2003
16,350
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elizabetheames.blogspot.com
ah Sarah WELCOME

we SO need you here because it is gonna be great to have someone who can testify for a great Dominican relationship..!!!! and AE is right.. I think all Dominican kids are REQUIRED to go stay with abuela for the summers, aren't they?
 

sarah1101

New member
Apr 27, 2012
86
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0
United States
I'm just curious about why the 1 year old??? (NOT judging at all.) Seems like one of the little bit older ones might get more from the experience. Just wondering if there's something I'm missing, or if it's more common to for the infants to have extended visits as opposed to older children.

The 2 oldest are in school untill June and my 2 1/2 year old would not stay with out me and had to return to preschool as well, my 9 year old will be going in June for 2 months as well.
All in all, all of the kids did pretty well with getting acustomed to speaking Spanish as they are no stranger to it but where we will is mostly white and Spanish is not even offered in the school!
 

sarah1101

New member
Apr 27, 2012
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United States
ah Sarah WELCOME

we SO need you here because it is gonna be great to have someone who can testify for a great Dominican relationship..!!!! and AE is right.. I think all Dominican kids are REQUIRED to go stay with abuela for the summers, aren't they?

Every relationship has its ups and downs and i can honestly say we are past the "downs", when i met him he wanted to act like most every other dominican guy I have known... Jumping jobs, haveing a few different girlfriends and so on but something has changed for the better :) We have been together exclusively for 5 years, now own a home and he has been in the same job for going on 6 years. With out him I would not be alive, he saved the life of me and my 2 daughters. My first husband is Dominican so I knew what I was possibly getting into with another relationship but his actions were more genuine.
His family has loved me from the second they met me and I joke with him that if we do break up in the future he better look out because they will pick me over him!!
Leaving the baby was such a hard decision but we call every night and its great to hear my baby sound so happy and she has been speaking so much more than she did when we went only a month ago!
 

paintedlbird7

New member
Mar 8, 2012
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hi, I'm going to be nosey like the members here. Tell us what made your current relationship work, as oposed to your first marriage, how did you know he's not using you?
 

CaptnGlenn

Silver
Mar 29, 2010
2,321
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48
The 2 oldest are in school untill June and my 2 1/2 year old would not stay with out me and had to return to preschool as well, my 9 year old will be going in June for 2 months as well.
All in all, all of the kids did pretty well with getting acustomed to speaking Spanish as they are no stranger to it but where we will is mostly white and Spanish is not even offered in the school!

Ahhhhh... IC. With my kids now being adults, I kinda loose track of the beginning and end of the school year. One of the results of being an "empty nester". LOL Your kids are lucky to have long visits with Abuela to look forward to.
 

sarah1101

New member
Apr 27, 2012
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United States
hi, I'm going to be nosey like the members here. Tell us what made your current relationship work, as oposed to your first marriage, how did you know he's not using you?

My first marriage did not end because he was using me and he was never using me, it ended because he became possessive, jealous and violent over a period of years where in the end he thought he would end all of our lives. He is currently in state prison and will be deported when released in about 8 yrs. I was only 14 when i got into the relationship with him and it moved so quickly. I am young but have lived and learned more than I would say 50% of the women my age have. My current partner and I were just starting to date when the final incident happened with my ex and he was the one who saved my life, if he was not there that day there would be no 'today' for me or my girls. I do not know what became the light to my current boyfriend to turn him into the wonderful man he is to me today, I threatened to leave and would not put up with the life he wanted to live at the time.. No more missing work, no more going to the bar every night from Thursday to Sunday, not coming home, having ex-girlfriends call and come to the house to harass me and beg him to go back. He changed in such a way his family was even surprised that he is not the wannabe 21 yo guy that he was 5 years ago (he is going on 32 now lol). We go to work 5 days (his position requires him to work 7 days often) a week, come home take care of the house and kids and do it all again the next week. I take care of him in a way that none of his past girlfriends cared to, I honestly dont know how he survived! LOL he is the type of guy that needs everything done for him and I mean everything!!! Before we dated he didn’t have a penny in his account because each dime was spent before the check hit the bank, he hadn’t been back to DR to see his mother since the day he entered NYC in 2001 and he was bouncing from ex-girlfriend’s house to his father’s house. Maybe there is such a thing as finding your 'soul mate'; I however am not a sap and really dont believe in that. Haha but it does feel like something with us is meant to be as if we have known each other forever. Sometimes we talk about getting married but I enjoy taking it day by day, for the moment he is working on getting his citizenship so we can apply for his mother to get a visa/perm residence and come live with us.
As to how do I know he is not using me... What would he get!? lol we have 5 kids and pretty much everything is 50/50! I will never 'lay down' and let someone take advantage of me again.
 

Mr_DR

Silver
May 12, 2002
2,506
60
0
Hi, I am Sarah. I have been on this site before but did not sign up until today. I just returned from a 3 1/2 week trip to DR with my Boyfriend and 4 kids. I am a Gringa but he is Dominican and his mother is still there, this was my 2nd time going to visit her and his 2nd time since he left about 10 years ago. We have 5 kids total, he has one from a previous marriage, we have 2 together and I have 2 from another marriage which he is raising as his they are 10 years old to 1 year old. We allowed the 1 year old to stay with her grand mother and I will be returning to get her in June, I miss her like crazy and cannot wait for these two months to fly by. I was so happy to take my children to DR and have them expirence the culture first hand, we only speak English in the hosue because it is the 'easy' thing to do and I hope to change that going further.
I have been to Santo Domingo, Boni, Santiago, Puerto Plata, Samana, Villa Altagracia, Boca Chica and many other small towns as we like to make day trips to explore the country since he bearly left his small town when he was growing up. I have to say I LOVE DR :)

Your ex is a psychopath, that wanted to kill you and your kids?
Good job placing him in jail and causing his deportation. But you better practice safety. It sounds like that guy is determined to kill you, your kids, and anybody else attached to you when he comes back to look for you. Don't think that prison is serving as therapy for this guy. He will be looking for you with twice the anguer, especially since you put him in jail and caused his deportation, though we know he made his own bed.

Don't trust him as far as you can throw him. He may want you to believe he is a nice changed person during his time in jail or after he gets out. But that is all just part of the plan to get you where he wants you.

Practice safety: Never let him know when you are going to DR, no facebooking by you, your children or your current boyfriend. No giving information where you stay at in Dominican Republic. If you are ever going to meet him or what not because you start feeling sorry for him and think he should see the kids, make sure you schedule the meeting at the airport just a couple of hours before you get on the plane. Also make sure you there are plenty of security around if you travel without other adults that could knock him out cold, if he tries something. Do not get out of the airport no matter how much he begs you.

Note: I said no facebooking because sometimes friends make comments about your travel plans that could reveal your date of travel to DR.

Airport meetings only when you are departing not when you are arriving, that way he wont follow you and find out where you stay at. Also make sure the children don't tell him the location either.

Stay safe and don't become news, there are many evil people in this world
 
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EllaTO

New member
Mar 16, 2012
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Wow, Sarah... You have lived a lifetime already! Sounds like you have your priorities straight and your eyes looking forward. Good luck to you..l your story is very inspiring and empowering.

Ella