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Thread: DR best familly component

  1. #1
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    Default DR best familly component

    I love the DR for many reasons, but most of all for the familly component.

    In North America and Europe we have "Retirement Homes" where we park our parents so that people can take care of them.

    I have not seen this in the DR, famillies take care of their old parents. They do this with love and respect in most cases. Old parents will help with the children and participate in the familly life, they don't sit in an aseptic room waiting to see il they will have a visit from their children.

    We have alot to learn from Dominicans.

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    Default Pragmatism in the Family

    Quote Originally Posted by suzannel View Post
    I love the DR for many reasons, but most of all for the familly component.
    In North America and Europe we have "Retirement Homes" where we park our parents so that people can take care of them.

    I have not seen this in the DR, famillies take care of their old parents. They do this with love and respect in most cases. (...)
    We have alot to learn from Dominicans.
    Indeed.
    However, sometimes their pragmatic approach leaves me speechless.

    Familiares encadenan joven mujer por problemas mentales

    donP

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    On the whole, yes. But look at it this way - if people could employ live-in carers for their parents at the same rates as in the DR, many more elderly people would be able to live in their own homes or with their adult children. It's not just culture, it's economics and lifestyle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chirimoya View Post
    On the whole, yes. But look at it this way - if people could employ live-in carers for their parents at the same rates as in the DR, many more elderly people would be able to live in their own homes or with their adult children. It's not just culture, it's economics and lifestyle.

    Economics or lifestyle doesn't change the Dominican approach to elders living-in with us!

    It's a matter of culture, embedded for generations in our country. You can see a 60+ year old man still calling his elderly mother "Mommy" and father "Papi" unlike in places like the states or elsewhere.

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    Quote Originally Posted by donP View Post
    Indeed.
    However, sometimes their pragmatic approach leaves me speechless.

    Familiares encadenan joven mujer por problemas mentales

    donP

    You and your extremes/picks... How expected!

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    Dominicans respect and love their elders. Taking care of them isn't a chore and inconvenient burden like in the "civilized" First World.

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    Right!!! We Americans don't love our parents and grandparents.

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    Compare your typical working households at most levels of the social scale:

    In European countries, both partners will be working out of necessity, making it impossible to care for someone at home unless one leaves their job. In the DR, even if both partners are working, employing a live-in carer is entirely within their reach.

    Experience is anecdotal but I do know of families here in the DR who have put their elderly mother in an "asilo" when the care she needed was beyond the capacities of their domestic staff. All her adult children and their spouses have jobs.

    I also knew an elderly man whose children had emigrated to the US and used to send him money, but had stopped. He was destitute and depended on the generosity of neighbours and friends. Once a week he would go to my mother-in-law's for lunch.

    The former case is comparable to many people's situations in Europe; the latter even more callous IMO than putting your elderly parent in a home and never visiting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chirimoya View Post
    In European countries, both partners will be working out of necessity, making it impossible to care for someone at home unless one leaves their job. In the DR, even if both partners are working, employing a live-in carer is entirely within their reach.
    Same is true in the US, but I debate what "necessity" means. From my experience it means working for material goods driven from "keeping up with the Joneses."

    I was in the elder care industry, the healthcare and ALF/nursing home staffing side, for many years in the states. I can tell hundreds of stories of families who'd rather warehouse grandma for big bucks than be inconvenienced by taking care of her themselves in their home. But when grandma starts circling the drain the heirs come out of the woodwork wanting to understand how her expensive care is eating away at the estate.

    That is almost non-existent in the DR. Out of necessity and lack of resources? Certainly a component. But one huge difference is cultural. In the states-and possibly Europe, I don't know for sure-the emphasis is on yout'; 60 is "old" and nobody cares anymore...unless there's something in it for them. We no longer revere our elders as a culture. They are impediments to our "it's all about me" driven lives.

    Not so in the DR. It's still about family. To this day I get chocked up as the young 'uns stand in line for a chance to hug their grandparents at a family gathering, and how family members will sacrifice their time and meager resources to care for them no matter how difficult. Certainly some is a function of lack of a social safety net. But at the core it's a cultural paradigm of family dynamics.

    In the states love of elders comes with nagging obligations. I see little of that in the DR. Love of elders here comes from respect of the family.

    It's one of the top reasons I love the DR and it's culture...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chirimoya View Post
    Compare your typical working households at most levels of the social scale:

    In European countries, both partners will be working out of necessity, making it impossible to care for someone at home unless one leaves their job. In the DR, even if both partners are working, employing a live-in carer is entirely within their reach.

    Experience is anecdotal but I do know of families here in the DR who have put their elderly mother in an "asilo" when the care she needed was beyond the capacities of their domestic staff. All her adult children and their spouses have jobs.

    I also knew an elderly man whose children had emigrated to the US and used to send him money, but had stopped. He was destitute and depended on the generosity of neighbours and friends. Once a week he would go to my mother-in-law's for lunch.

    The former case is comparable to many people's situations in Europe; the latter even more callous IMO than putting your elderly parent in a home and never visiting.

    Those are the exceptions rather than the rule in the DR...

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