In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity,here are some actual label instructions:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping(darn, and that's the only
time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchases necessary.Details
inside.(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions:use like regular soap."(and that would
be how???...)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert(printed on bottom):"Do not turn upside down."
(Well...duh,a bit late,huh?)
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
o not iron on clothes on body."(but
wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boots Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medicine."(we could do alot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just keep those 5-year-olds with heads colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:"Warning:May cause drowsiness."(and...I'm taking this
because???...)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."(now,some
body out there,help me on this.I'm a bit curious.")
On Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning:contains nuts."(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions open packet,eat nuts."
(step 3:maybe,uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."(OMG...was there alot of this happening somewhere?)
On most brands of christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:"May irritate eyes."
stupidity,here are some actual label instructions:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping(darn, and that's the only
time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchases necessary.Details
inside.(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions:use like regular soap."(and that would
be how???...)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert(printed on bottom):"Do not turn upside down."
(Well...duh,a bit late,huh?)
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
o not iron on clothes on body."(butwouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boots Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medicine."(we could do alot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just keep those 5-year-olds with heads colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:"Warning:May cause drowsiness."(and...I'm taking this
because???...)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."(now,some
body out there,help me on this.I'm a bit curious.")
On Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning:contains nuts."(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions open packet,eat nuts."
(step 3:maybe,uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."(OMG...was there alot of this happening somewhere?)
On most brands of christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:"May irritate eyes."
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