Choosing the "right" Dominicans

Let's see where this goes.

You do have a point, but it is not a simplistic issue or topic.

Let's take the Sanky as an example:

The sanky cultured derived out of desperation for both the hunter (Gringos, including Dominicans) and the hunted (the sanky him/herself). This role could very easily be reversed; where as the Sanky becomes the hunter.

A gringo goes on vacation and falls in love, in a weekend, with a wonderful, sweet and naive person.
What is wrong with this picture?

Gringo has one or a combination of the following:

1> low self-steam
2> ugly as hell, unable to get any home
3> Extremely difficult personality which prevents from getting into a relationship
4> super picky, way to high standards
5> A control freak
6> Desire young flesh

only those come to mind right now..

So, one or a combination of these traits makes it possible for a gringo to infatuate with the native fairly quickly.

I know at least three Dominican women who have done this, just be taken to the cleaners at the end.

The Sanky

As you know, his / her only interest is either to get off the country or simply milk the gringo.
Nothing else.

The opposite of this, which makes this subject so complex

Some people in this forum have found true love. Who is to denied that they aren't truly happy and without a doubt in love?
It is possible that a gringo might be looking for ...

1> someone younger
2> A change of scenery
3> A decent person
4> someone with a different culture
5> someone they feel they could control
6> more possibilities [...]

The fact that the vast majority of Dominicans are not sankies, make this premise possible.

Who is to say that a gringo while either on vacation or traveling back home, met someone with whom they fell in love right away. Mutually, without one thinking about over powering the other.

Love plays a trick on one when one least expects it... You had me at "Hola mi amor!"


As illustrated, it is not as simple as some might suggest. It is not black or white, there is definitely a grey area.

There are plenty of Sankies in the DR, but there are far more regular people who are decent and honest. Our culture is so much in love with the foreign, that it isn't far fetched for a native to actually be "wowed" by a gringo

Yes, a lot of gringos has picked poor excuses of Dominican men and women. Hence the constant bashing!
But,as you imply, those with high standards would always get the good men or women.

:chinese:

The problem is the grey area. The extremes are so obvious by now that almost no gring@ falls for it anymore. At least none with an internet connection. That grey area, that's where things get complicated.
What's my point? never, ever marry anyone from a different origin if there is a difference in social status.

nas said:

gringo has one or a combination of the following:

1> low self-steam
2> ugly as hell, unable to get any home
3> extremely difficult personality which prevents from getting into a relationship
4> super picky, way to high standards
5> a control freak
6> desire young flesh

only those come to mind right now..

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7) super shy!!!!

Bronxboy said:

7) super shy!!!!

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8) Need a Dominican to add to his collection.

Castle said:

The problem is the grey area. The extremes are so obvious by now that almost no gring@ falls for it anymore. At least none with an internet connection. That grey area, that's where things get complicated. I witnessed a very sad case of an italian-american young guy that came to DR on vacation with a group of friends. He met this girl at a mall, and inmediately fell in love with her. They went out several times before he got back to NY. He returned a few weeks later, went to the girl's house and met her parents, very decent folks. She attended a university. They are roughly the same age. After a few trips back and forth he decided to give her a ring and get her a fiancee visa. She's now married to him and they live in NY. All good right?. Nope. Turns out she worked every night as a hooker/stripper/escort at a famous whorehouse in SD. Did the guy stand a chance? no. Could he have done a better research? Possibly, but I don't think he would've ever found out, as not even her family knew what she did. Are they happy? I don't know, but I doubt it. She wasn't even half faithful while she was here and he has there. She told me she didn't want to marry him and did not love him, but she needed to in order to help her family. She wasn't a lowlife in the strict sense, but a nice cute, educated girl.

What's my point? never, ever marry anyone from a different origin if there is a difference in social status.

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I don't think she falls in the grey area, she is a Sanky. She accepted to marry the guy purely for her benefits...

A decent person does not hook, hence decent = decency.

One does not go to a foreign country and in a few days falls in love.
First attraction, then infatuation and ultimately love, right? Most relationships fail after the infatuation disappears.

She was definitely a Sanky and there was definitely something wrong with his judgment.

There is no grey area in this case, but nonetheless, it is sad...

Castle said:

She's now married to him and they live in NY. All good right?. Nope.

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They are probably not together anymore since statistics say, that once in the USA, they (sankies) skip town after all the papers have been completed.

I am not sure I buy the stereotype professional/ college educated gringa(o) who falls for a jobless sanky. Not saying it doesn t happen, but....
I have seen plenty (most ?) of Euro or Americans in DR, Cuba who act like they are big shot in third world countries cause they are simply nobody back in their home.

nas said:

I don't think she falls in the grey area, she is a Sanky. She accepted to marry the guy purely for her benefits...

A decent person does not hook, hence decent = decency.

One does not go to a foreign country and in a few days falls in love.
First attraction, then infatuation and ultimately love, right? Most relationships fail after the infatuation disappears.

She was definitely a Sanky and there was definitely something wrong with his judgment.

There is no grey area in this case, but nonetheless, it is sad...

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Well, I don't think she was a sanky. If anything, I would say he made a sanky out of her. And if we call sanky to anyone who got married because of benefits....well....

I still feel it falls into the grey area. Maybe we define that grey area differently. For me the black area would be the typical old guy/lady marrying a young guy/girl 40 years younger who is actively looking for this kind of relationship. The white area would be a regular relationship between a man and a woman whose only difference is their countries of origin and maybe culture. So the grey area for me is everything in between, where you can't tell at first sight the real background of the relationship. That's what happened here, imo.

Dominicaus said:

I posted about this on another thread but I think it probably deserves some discussion here. It was in reply to a woman's comment, so it is about some Gringas exceedingly poor job of choosing the DominicanOs they mix up with...It probably applies also to Gringos messing with the "wrong" DominicanAs.

Falling in love with THE RIGHT kind of Dominican could be a fabulous experience...Unfortunately some Gringas seem to have the ABSOLUTELY WORST POSSIBLE TASTE for Dominican men (yeah, even physically... AWFUL TASTE)....but beauty (or lack of) is not their problem...they seem to be fatally attracted to "low-lives", characters without a steady job (or a menial one), with minimal education, even without a steady home, etc. etc. THEY DO A HORRIBLE JOB OF CHOOSING THE DOMINICANS THEY MIX WITH...

And of course they pay for it...dearly....

Mind you, these are often college-educated women, professionals, who in their own country wouldn't even give the time of day to a man with the same characteristics as the Dominican men they befriend (they'd call them hill billies, uneducated w-trash, and what not... believe me, at home they would NEVER EVER date a man of the "stature" of the Dominican men they befriend).

Eventually they come to a place like this to... bitch about....you guessed it... DOMINICAN MEN....

The problem is NOT Dominican MEN...It is the Dominican men THEY CHOOSE!!!!!!!!!!

If they chose Dominican men with the same criteria they choose men back home, meaning finding men who are actually COMPATIBLE with them, it would be a different story... Some eventually figure it out...some NEVER EVER do...

IT IS THEIR LOUSY TASTE their problem.

Choose Dominicans as you would choose friends back home and you'll be fine...If you don't find them, then keep looking, and live without them while searching.

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I have read your post twice and I agree. Now can you write a post explaining why Dominican women have this same problem.

I know plenty of Dominican women that are treated pretty bad in DR by their Dominicans spouses or boyfriends. Many of my Puerto Rican boys and African American boys treat their ladies not good, but NOTHING like Dominicans.

BTW There is a guy that I know lives in La Castellana with his family, nice home, car the whole nine. He has another family in SD Este and the kids and GF has less a lot LESS then his family in La Castellana. Can you explain to me why?

In broader terms the word "sanky" usually, I mean usually, applies to a resort worker. But isn't this prevelant throughout the lower social classes, as many are looking to get out of a usually dire economic situation.

To be fair to the lower social classes, the hunt for a relationship that would improve your status also happens all over the social ladder. A girl who was a VP for one of our customers a few years ago got in a relationship with some Pedro Martinez guy, pitcher for the Boston Red Sox at the time. She was middle-upper class, made a lot of money from her job and was still living with her parents, so whe was doing OK. Pedro would send a private jet to pick her up once in a while so she could attend the games he pitched and be back the next morning at work. She has pictures of all this, which she proudly showed to everyone. Now, this guy has a lot of money, but nobody could classify him as high-class. I don't think he's what you would call good looking, either. And he was at least 15 years her senior. Was she a sanky? BTW, He dumped her a few months into the relationship to get marry to a remarkably similar looking girl .

I have not read the rest of the thread but I'm going to comment and read it later after work.

I will never find a Dominican man....(not that I'm looking)
I have fun with a few but as far as settling down, it will never be.
I have worn the "pantalones" in my house for too long.
When I want something, I buy it, I don't wait for a man to give it to me or give me "permission" to buy it.
Without totally giving away my income, let's just say I bring home between $2,000US-$3,000US weekly. The Dominican men in my league financially are stuck up and want white wives. They love us (black women) as the lovers because...well....to put it nicely with the lighter persuasion no se compara en la cama but to marry?? Nope...white.
The men who would marry me are not financially or educationally on my level but thats not usually why we never really mesh.
Shalena cannot give up the podium and Shalena's mouth is judy. I have knocked many a Dominican man's ego down with my tongue.
They can't take that. They need submissive, and silent when asked to be silent.

I heard one ex-aventura tell a friend of mine that the problem with me is that I have too much mouth..."Cuando esa mujer se enoja....ya tu 'ta frito" and he told me that I don't need a man because I am the man LOL

Find me a good-looking, decently employed, educational prepared Dominican who can handle a firecracker and I'll take it all back. It ain't happening

SHALENA

SKing said:

I have not read the rest of the thread but I'm going to comment and read it later after work.

I will never find a Dominican man....(not that I'm looking)
I have fun with a few but as far as settling down, it will never be.
I have worn the "pantalones" in my house for too long.
When I want something, I buy it, I don't wait for a man to give it to me or give me "permission" to buy it.
Without totally giving away my income, let's just say I bring home between $2,000US-$3,000US weekly. The Dominican men in my league financially are stuck up and want white wives. They love us (black women) as the lovers because...well....to put it nicely with the lighter persuasion no se compara en la cama but to marry?? Nope...white.
The men who would marry me are not financially or educationally on my level but thats not usually why we never really mesh.
Shalena cannot give up the podium and Shalena's mouth is judy. I have knocked many a Dominican man's ego down with my tongue.
They can't take that. They need submissive, and silent when asked to be silent.

I heard one ex-aventura tell a friend of mine that the problem with me is that I have too much mouth..."Cuando esa mujer se enoja....ya tu 'ta frito" and he told me that I don't need a man because I am the man LOL

Find me a good-looking, decently employed, educational prepared Dominican who can handle a firecracker and I'll take it all back. It ain't happening

SHALENA

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It is clear that you are much too charming and sophisticated for "ANY" man anywhere. "knocked many a Dominican man's ego down with my tongue" To what social circles do you travel that you have these frequent pleasant encounters

pauleast said:

It is clear that you are much too charming and sophisticated for "ANY" man anywhere. "knocked many a Dominican man's ego down with my tongue" To what social circles do you travel that you have these frequent pleasant encounters

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I hob nob with professionals and low income alike.I came from a low income family and I never forget where I came from.
One MD I worked with when asked by another nurse why he always asked for me for his patients said because I could talk and care for anyone whether it was his rich patients or his few Medicaid patients...he said "Shalena is the best of both worlds. Professional, with ghetto tendencies"
LMAO, I'll never forget that.

SHALENA

SKing said:

I have not read the rest of the thread but I'm going to comment and read it later after work.

I will never find a Dominican man....(not that I'm looking)
I have fun with a few but as far as settling down, it will never be.
I have worn the "pantalones" in my house for too long.
When I want something, I buy it, I don't wait for a man to give it to me or give me "permission" to buy it.
Without totally giving away my income, let's just say I bring home between $2,000US-$3,000US weekly. The Dominican men in my league financially are stuck up and want white wives. They love us (black women) as the lovers because...well....to put it nicely with the lighter persuasion no se compara en la cama but to marry?? Nope...white.
The men who would marry me are not financially or educationally on my level but thats not usually why we never really mesh.
Shalena cannot give up the podium and Shalena's mouth is judy. I have knocked many a Dominican man's ego down with my tongue.
They can't take that. They need submissive, and silent when asked to be silent.

I heard one ex-aventura tell a friend of mine that the problem with me is that I have too much mouth..."Cuando esa mujer se enoja....ya tu 'ta frito" and he told me that I don't need a man because I am the man LOL

Find me a good-looking, decently employed, educational prepared Dominican who can handle a firecracker and I'll take it all back. It ain't happening

SHALENA

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A black woman with her money, I get turned on just typing it I will take my D.C. women and Chi women and let the players of DR have all that beauty in Santiago, Moca, Santo Domingo etc.

BTW The sexiest thing for me is a woman with 830.55USD in her purse and I did not give her 1 cent of it. Hitting the town with over 800USD what could be better.

First off padro is an F ing dirt ball remember when he punched don zimmer who was ilke 100 at the time. May be he was trying to impress a date he hade flown with his manliness. As for the striper ho who mared the 27 year old guy
That is now a crime in the us and he could easly get her ass 3 hots and a cot if he wanted . And you said her reasoning for using and stealing this man's hart was to help her famley . Bull $hit ! High class striper makes good $ in SD . If her family did not know what she was doing at night then she was ovisley not helping them in the first place . Not gray at all . Deport that Ho .

Let me say the reason why I will not date Dominican women in the future. I have 3 women in my life a Mexican woman, Dominican woman and my sweetheart a Pakistani woman. My Pakistani GF and the Mexican woman I have a child with can tell me the sun will not rise tomorrow and I will believe them because they are both very honest women. I have known my Mexican lady for almost 14 yrs and she has never lied to me. I know the second she does not tell me the whole story because she starts to giggle, but lying is NOT a part of who she is.

My present GF will not lie if you paid her a million bucks very honest and humble woman. She is so great she sometimes make me call my Dominican ex wife to see if she is OK, because she said" if your ex wife is unhappy your child is unhappy"

Now my Dominican wife could be sitting at a park on Sunday with her friends and call me and say she was just hit by a moto could I send her 1000USD. Then she would put her sister on the phone to confirm the lie. It is really sad when my wife needs something extra a month I have to call my Haitian friend and his wife to confirm what she need is the truth. I have 3 Haitian people I use in SD to approve a wire for my wife, and these people will not lie for her. One time she needed money for her car to be repaired and she even put the guy on the phone which was Dominican, it took him all of 5 seconds to tell his 1st lie. She needed 400USD and I said fine but my Haitian guy will pick the person who will fixed the car. She called back 30 mins later and said everything is OK the guy fixed it and did not charge her. DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN.

I enjoy having a drink with Dominican women or having dinner and talking, but it does not go any further then this. I have my daughter in Santo Domingo and she is all the woman I need. Can't wait to take her to the new malls in SD.

listen, it's not about small tiny lies of individuals. it is all about one big fat hollywood lie. a dream, if you may. god, i do not know a person who does not dream about their other half. we dream the looks, the behaviour, the exact words. and we copy the very exact schemes we know from the movies, where love conquers all, wins all and rules all.

women fall for that s**t all the time. men in their own countries are reserved, dominicans are so open. so beautiful in expressing their feelings, their love. dominican men will cry, their lips will tremble.

a stupid, stupid gringa comes to DR for her holidays. her eyes meet his eyes over the buffet with rice and beans. he smiles shyly. the next day he sighs. on the third day he asks her to dance, maybe. holds her tight, looks at her with the glassy spaniel eyes. breaths gently into her skin. one thing follows the other, their lips lock. love is passionate, he kisses and caresses every part of her body, she is the goddess, she's the queen. she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, she is the only woman he knows, he worships.

when the time comes for her to come back home he holds her hand and holds back the tears. says he loves her and he always will. he walks away, turns back to look at her one last time, his lips tremble with the words he dares not say and finally he walks again, like this parting was the hardest thing he ever did, like his heart was breaking into pieces, shattering at her feet.

damn, who would not fall for a circus show like this? any woman who has ever seen and re-seen dirty dancing, crying into her pillow would. any woman who comes back day after day into her empty apartment would. any woman who feels her biological clock is ticking and she so craves a baby with this chocolate skinned muscular model would. any woman who is otherwise so picky, so reserved but just once, during those fateful holidays in DR decided to let her heart lead her would.

there, solved for you. it is all about belief. belief in love, the biggest lie of all.