Will the "right" Dominican choose you?

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CFA123

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Perhaps more important than what's discussed in http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/127478-choosing-right-dominicans-3.html ... why would the "right" Dominican choose you?

If you only visit occasionally, unless you're Mr/Miss unbelievably desirable, why would the "right" Dominican want to waste time even talking to you?

As a gringo who lives here, I have essentially zero time or desire to socialize or start relationships with any visitor to the country. Decent Dominicans don't either unless it's part of their job. They have a life and don't need to repeatedly get involved with people who are here for a week.

Back home wherever you came from, did you hang out in tourist areas and try to make acquaintances every week with new visitors?

If as a foreigner, you've made DR your home, then you also better bring something to the table to catch the "right" Dominican.

Otherwise, aren't you just fooling yourself that you found a good one, and more than likely just the one they managed to catch after trolling the waters for a long time?
 
Bronxboy

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Mars/Venus forum is on a roill!!!!!

More entertaining right now than the Yankees. Bummer
 
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dv8

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well, miesposo had his wishlist of two items: well educated and white. got that.
 
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Richard Alberto

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I believe the op in the last thread about choosing the right Dominican, said the same thing, stay within your own lifestyle.
 
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Castle

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If she/he is the right one, don't let them have a choice. Get her or him at all cost. And keep them at all cost. If you wait to be chosen, you are risking what might well be a once in a lifetime chance.
 
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porkman100

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dv8 said:
well, miesposo had his wishlist of two items: well educated and white. got that.
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OMG. dv8, why being white, more important than personal values. I have millions of white people all around me, I will tell you.... that it will never be on my wishlist.
 
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dv8

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Lucifer said:
I could have sworn you chose tue$po$o
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damn right! i stole him from his dominican girlfriend.

porkman100 said:
OMG. dv8, why being white, more important than personal values. I have millions of white people all around me, I will tell you.... that it will never be on my wishlist.
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oh, i do not think it was of much worth in a way. he just likes light skin, light eyes and light hair. just like i like bald :)
 
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cbmitch9

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When it's the "right" one, you won't feel it in the wallet or the loins. It will be in the heart. You both will choose each other.
 
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Berzin

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Regardless of how long the expat in question has lived in the DR, whenever they say "no respectable Dominican would waste their time with a tourist" I tune them out. I'm glad that's not the DR I've grown to know and love.

Not only is it not true, it's utter nonsense. In such a homogeneous environment, Dominicans get bored just like anyone else. I've found many who enjoy talking to people from other countries and cultures who have differing and eclectic points of view.

The ones I've found to be insular, elitist, and intolerant are some expats. Many sit around bored to death, and all they do is talk about each other, clucking away like hens in a henhouse about gossipy crap like a bunch of high school girls.
 
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the gorgon

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dv8 said:
damn right! i stole him from his dominican girlfriend.



oh, i do not think it was of much worth in a way. he just likes light skin, light eyes and light hair. just like i like bald :)
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that is nothing out of the ordinary for a Dominican.
 
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the gorgon

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Berzin said:
Regardless of how long the expat in question has lived in the DR, whenever they say "no respectable Dominican would waste their time with a tourist" I tune them out. I'm glad that's not the DR I've grown to know and love.

Not only is it not true, it's utter nonsense. In such a homogeneous environment, Dominicans get bored just like anyone else. I've found many who enjoy talking to people from other countries and cultures who have differing and eclectic points of view.

The ones I've found to be insular, elitist, and intolerant are some expats. Many sit around bored to death, and all they do is talk about each other, clucking away like hens in a henhouse about gossipy crap like a bunch of high school girls.
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Berzin, you are such a wise person. i have nothing to add.
 
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pollogringo

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Berzin said:
Regardless of how long the expat in question has lived in the DR, whenever they say "no respectable Dominican would waste their time with a tourist" I tune them out. I'm glad that's not the DR I've grown to know and love.

Not only is it not true, it's utter nonsense. In such a homogeneous environment, Dominicans get bored just like anyone else. I've found many who enjoy talking to people from other countries and cultures who have differing and eclectic points of view.

The ones I've found to be insular, elitist, and intolerant are some expats. Many sit around bored to death, and all they do is talk about each other, clucking away like hens in a henhouse about gossipy crap like a bunch of high school girls.
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Let's further explore the motivations for a Dominican woman being interested in a foreigner:

Most Dominican women have a dim view of Dominican men as fathers and husbands.

My ex-wife recalled a father that was not abusive but given to vice and that gave no thought to helping his children attend school. He was likable enough, but she always resented him. Her first marriage was very brief, to a Dominican, and it went very badly for her. Prior to meeting me, she'd had a Brazilian boyfriend and later, Mexican. She doesn't like Dominican men. She doesn't trust them. We were married for nearly fifteen years, and she had no complaints about her gringo.

My current gf spent her formative years seeing her father beat her mother and spend all their money on booze. Her first intimate experience was a very unpleasant one, with a Dominican. She was left to raise a daughter alone, by a Dominican. She's generally preferred foreign men. I wonder why. The women in her family that are married to foreigners, living in RD or abroad, are the happiest and most secure, according to her. She does have an aunt married to a Dominican, that she must refer to as "sir". She finds that strange.

I've known lots of Dominican women in the States(no need for a visa) over the years that prefer non-Dominicans as partners. Just the way it is.
 
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CFA123

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Berzin said:
Regardless of how long the expat in question has lived in the DR, whenever they say "no respectable Dominican would waste their time with a tourist" I tune them out. ..
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Perhaps you shouldn't.
Do you really disagree that outside of those who must deal with a tourist due to their job... you better bring a high level of intelligence, personality, presentable image, common language, and common interests in order to attract the "right" Dominicans to any more than a fleeting conversation?
 
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pollogringo

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CFA123 said:
Perhaps you shouldn't.
Do you really disagree that outside of those who must deal with a tourist due to their job... you better bring a high level of intelligence, personality, presentable image, common language, and common interests in order to attract the "right" Dominicans to any more than a fleeting conversation?
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Berzin understands that. He speaks the language. And the points you now bring up are all valid. I've often said that if you can't maker her laugh, fight with her and make up with her in her language, you shouldn't bother.
 
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JMB773

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CFA123 said:
Perhaps you shouldn't.
Do you really disagree that outside of those who must deal with a tourist due to their job... you better bring a high level of intelligence, personality, presentable image, common language, and common interests in order to attract the "right" Dominicans to any more than a fleeting conversation?
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Why would a person with "high level of intelligence" be in DR looking for a date to begin with? If a man or woman visits the DR, PR, CR, Mexico, Panama and Jamaica for the SOLE PURPOSE to find a bride or groom, IMO they went WRONG somewhere in life.

Why would a man that comes from a world like Quebec, Canada find common ground with a woman from La Vega, Dominican Republic? A little 4 letter word LUST. Lust does not go anywhere without his buddy GREED.
 
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JMB773

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When you are a man and you court a woman based on lust, you invite his other friends as well. Why do you think so many women turn to GREED after the marriage.

Now it works in reverse as well, when a Dominican woman entice a man to marry her because of GREED, the man wants to have sex all the time, welcome home LUST.

People have to think what is the real reason I am with this person, her family is poor and I want to help PRIDE, she comes from a rich family with an expensive education, big house, 2 jeepitas, and maids ENVY.

Watch out for these sins because when you invite one the others think they are invited as well.

If LOVE was the real reason you have nothing to worry about, but LOVE is 1 against 7.
 
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Castle

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JMB773 said:
Why would a person with "high level of intelligence" be in DR looking for a date to begin with? If a man or woman visits the DR, PR, CR, Mexico, Panama and Jamaica for the SOLE PURPOSE to find a bride or groom, IMO they went WRONG somewhere in life.

Why would a man that comes from a world like Quebec, Canada find common ground with a woman from La Vega, Dominican Republic? A little 4 letter word LUST. Lust does not go anywhere without his buddy GREED.
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There is also the factor that has been mentioned many times in threads like this one. People with low self-esteem, who aren't able to initiate or keep healthy relationships back home, come down here because they think that this being a poor country they will have an edge. And they do, obviously. If they choose to ignore where that edge comes from, that's another issue.
And that is why I always try to cut some slack to the locals who are accused of sankying. Most only give the poor gringos what they are asking for.
 
bronzeallspice

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Castle said:
There is also the factor that has been mentioned many times in threads like this one. People with low self-esteem, who aren't able to initiate or keep healthy relationships back home, come down here because they think that this being a poor country they will have an edge. And they do, obviously. If they choose to ignore where that edge comes from, that's another issue.
And that is why I always try to cut some slack to the locals who are accused of sankying. Most only give the poor gringos what they are asking for.
Click to expand...

I couldn't have said it any better.:)
 
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