This is an add recently found in a Dominican online advertisement here on the North Coast.
"The baddest, wildest, fastest, bike on this island. Period. 2006 KTM 950SM. You ever sat on a lion before? Well this is the closest you'll ever come. This bike will do 270km/180MPH down the highway and make you feel like you're being catapulted back to the Fu&%*^ing future. This bike has enough ground clearance to clear a sequoia tree or cross a river during a hurricane. The only thing lacking on this bike is a Flux Capicator--like the one employed by Michael J Fox in Back To The Future--but honestly, it doesn't need a Fu%$#ing stupid button because you can get enough lift to catapult you into outer space. It's 950cc! it's got enough torque to rips your fu&^%$ing arms out of their sockets or take your hair weave out. It'll rip the knickers off any girl sitting on the back in 10 seconds. This bike is not for sissies. This bike will carry you through any Zombie Apocolypse you encounter on this island...you'll be tearing up asphalt--kicking ass and taking names--as you barrel through groups of Pentecostals, Mormons, Baptists, and Jehovah Witnesses on sunday morning, screaming "Born to be Wild, you Fu*&#ing Jesus Freaks"--as you head for Passions for the all-you-can-eat-buffett. The bike runs like a rocket ship and stops just as quickly with the motorcycle industry's leading 330mm "Braided" Brembo brakes lines and most massive calipers you've ever seen in your life. Trust me...you'll need them! They have to be experienced to be believed. This KTM 950cc is the baddest bike on the island. Nothing even remotely comes close to it. That's why there are only two on the whole island. it costs U.S $20,000 new in 2006. I got the receipt. This one was special ordered through KTM in Santo Domingo. She's got new shoes on her as well, becuase you don't let a classy lady leave the house barefoot, do you? She's got new Carbon Fiber side panels becuase you don't deprive your sexy lady new jewelery and panties when she leaves the house. Why am i selling it? Becuase i'm not the kind of guy to drive by a river and not try to jump over the Fu%$&ing thing like Evil Kneivel. I see a bridge, i'm going to hit that thing at 180mph and catapult over the Fu*^*KINg river like the Space Shuttle taking off! I'm sorry, I can't pass up golden opportunities like that. I'm not right in the head. Listen...you want a stupid chinese scooter, then move to China dumb A&^. You want something to take you to the moon and back, screaming, "Oh Yeah, Baby, it's Fu*&%ing business time!" then come and see me. But don't come to me talking some stupid brain damage crap about how bad ass your Harley is. Harley can't surf! Harley's a fat piece of crap situated on an obese frame. Harley is a WWII Tank barreling down the highway making a lot of noise; Harley don't jump bridges, man! It's fat ass that only knows how to make a lot of noise without the side effect of horsepower. You want to talk 180MPH/270km, come see me. I work at ???? during football games on saturday's and sundays. Please don't come and see me if you want to talk about how some stupid chinese scooter once scared you...scooters are for women dumb as^^. You want to talk about catapulting over rivers, chasing monkeys down the street..come see me! You want to compare scars, come see me. But don't come and see me and waste my fu&&^%ing time talking about some stupid, piece of crap Yamaha 125cc DT that has less horsepower then a riding lawn mower...and how it once scared the living crap out of you when you were 12yrs old. $8000 gets you three helmets, a KTM Brochure, Saddle bags--(never used), KTM factory tools, a link to some of my favorite youtube crash videos, a short story about honest two women on this island, a shot of Jack Daniels with me and my buddy, Alabama Gary, a cup of coffee, and whatever kind of tequila you want."
"The baddest, wildest, fastest, bike on this island. Period. 2006 KTM 950SM. You ever sat on a lion before? Well this is the closest you'll ever come. This bike will do 270km/180MPH down the highway and make you feel like you're being catapulted back to the Fu&%*^ing future. This bike has enough ground clearance to clear a sequoia tree or cross a river during a hurricane. The only thing lacking on this bike is a Flux Capicator--like the one employed by Michael J Fox in Back To The Future--but honestly, it doesn't need a Fu%$#ing stupid button because you can get enough lift to catapult you into outer space. It's 950cc! it's got enough torque to rips your fu&^%$ing arms out of their sockets or take your hair weave out. It'll rip the knickers off any girl sitting on the back in 10 seconds. This bike is not for sissies. This bike will carry you through any Zombie Apocolypse you encounter on this island...you'll be tearing up asphalt--kicking ass and taking names--as you barrel through groups of Pentecostals, Mormons, Baptists, and Jehovah Witnesses on sunday morning, screaming "Born to be Wild, you Fu*&#ing Jesus Freaks"--as you head for Passions for the all-you-can-eat-buffett. The bike runs like a rocket ship and stops just as quickly with the motorcycle industry's leading 330mm "Braided" Brembo brakes lines and most massive calipers you've ever seen in your life. Trust me...you'll need them! They have to be experienced to be believed. This KTM 950cc is the baddest bike on the island. Nothing even remotely comes close to it. That's why there are only two on the whole island. it costs U.S $20,000 new in 2006. I got the receipt. This one was special ordered through KTM in Santo Domingo. She's got new shoes on her as well, becuase you don't let a classy lady leave the house barefoot, do you? She's got new Carbon Fiber side panels becuase you don't deprive your sexy lady new jewelery and panties when she leaves the house. Why am i selling it? Becuase i'm not the kind of guy to drive by a river and not try to jump over the Fu%$&ing thing like Evil Kneivel. I see a bridge, i'm going to hit that thing at 180mph and catapult over the Fu*^*KINg river like the Space Shuttle taking off! I'm sorry, I can't pass up golden opportunities like that. I'm not right in the head. Listen...you want a stupid chinese scooter, then move to China dumb A&^. You want something to take you to the moon and back, screaming, "Oh Yeah, Baby, it's Fu*&%ing business time!" then come and see me. But don't come to me talking some stupid brain damage crap about how bad ass your Harley is. Harley can't surf! Harley's a fat piece of crap situated on an obese frame. Harley is a WWII Tank barreling down the highway making a lot of noise; Harley don't jump bridges, man! It's fat ass that only knows how to make a lot of noise without the side effect of horsepower. You want to talk 180MPH/270km, come see me. I work at ???? during football games on saturday's and sundays. Please don't come and see me if you want to talk about how some stupid chinese scooter once scared you...scooters are for women dumb as^^. You want to talk about catapulting over rivers, chasing monkeys down the street..come see me! You want to compare scars, come see me. But don't come and see me and waste my fu&&^%ing time talking about some stupid, piece of crap Yamaha 125cc DT that has less horsepower then a riding lawn mower...and how it once scared the living crap out of you when you were 12yrs old. $8000 gets you three helmets, a KTM Brochure, Saddle bags--(never used), KTM factory tools, a link to some of my favorite youtube crash videos, a short story about honest two women on this island, a shot of Jack Daniels with me and my buddy, Alabama Gary, a cup of coffee, and whatever kind of tequila you want."
