Do "Nice" Dominicanas ever ask for money?

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santiagodude

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Nov 25, 2012
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I realize this may not be a clear cut yes or no answer but am simply seeking a consensus (if possible).

I met a "nice" girl a couple months ago and recently visited her on a subsequent trip. We decided to become a couple and pursue a relationship together. I will also be visiting her during the holidays (at least that is my plan).

Is it normal for a Dominican girlfriend to request money for school and rent? I have visited her apartment and taken her to school on a previous trip. I have no concern that these are actual expenses. My question is more in a cultural context, as this is something that I would not consider in the states (I realize I'm no longer in Kansas, so to speak).

When I met her she had a job (where we met at Plaza International), but has since been let go. I previously asked her how she pays bills and her response was "she borrows from family". She appears educated and is currently studying French and English.

Up to now she has never asked me for money (3 months) and I am more comfortable giving gifts as a show of affection. That said, I do not want to let go of a nice girl over the issue of money, unless this is something inappropriate or a reflection of poor character.

Your advice is appreciated.
 

Tamborista

hasta la tambora
Apr 4, 2005
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The money is probably for her Dominican boyfriend, I would not worry about it too much, nothing in life is free.
 

bronzeallspice

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Mar 26, 2012
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She borrows from family? Hmmm.On the contrary family members would encourage her to
go live with them.Many families are too poor to be helping out with cash.
 

bronzeallspice

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Mar 26, 2012
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If she is not asking you for money,then what's the problem? Just continue to give her gifts
like you've been doing.
 
Dec 26, 2011
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Three months? Time for her to tell you about her debt. All young attractive Dominicans girls are in debt. Ask lots of questions. After a lot of wrangling, the truth surfaces. If she refuses to answer or gets evasive in her answers, that's your cue to split.
 

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
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Many Dominican girls usually live at home with family members.In this case,it's different she's
living on her own.Now,you met this girl,she was working and now lost her job hmmm...

It's up to you really what you want to do,whether to give her money or not.If you do,I guess you
will be sending her money through Western Union on a monthly basis.Or you can ask her to go find
another job,I don't see why she shouldn't.
 
Dec 26, 2011
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She'll make between 6000 and 14000 pesos a month at a job. No less. No more. Find out her rent. Other expenses. Debt load. Ask questions that you would never dream of asking. She gave you the right the moment she asked you for money. You've gone from nice dinners and movies to playing house. Are you cool with that? Tambo's comment bears consideration. Are there other men in the mix? Maybe. Maybe not. Find out. It could be all legit. It could be mostly legit with some random bits of shadiness. Or you could be one of several "sponsors". Or you could be buying jeans for her papi chulo. You'll figure it out.
 

cbmitch9

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Nov 3, 2010
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SantiagoDude,

You have received some good advice so far. Ignore them at your peril. Why make this person your problem? You provide gifts to her, but does she provide gifts to you in return (we are not talking about sex)? Dating or attempting to have a relationship with an unemployed woman or man in the DR, is asking for trouble. Keep your money but if you have extra, give it to an orphanage. As always, best of luck and spend your hard earned money as you see fit. A fool and his money are soon departed.
 

zoomzx11

Gold
Jan 21, 2006
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I agree with pollogringo- you will figure it out after a time. Pay close attention and sooner or later you will see exactly what's up, meantime enjoy the relationship but put off falling head over heels in love.
 

santiagodude

Member
Nov 25, 2012
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I appreciate all of your responses to my question.
For the record I told her we would discuss the money issues when I arrive in Santiago in 2 weeks. This will give me time to consider how to respond to her request. The money is not the issue for me as much as her sincerity.
 

CaptnGlenn

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Mar 29, 2010
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I appreciate all of your responses to my question.
For the record I told her we would discuss the money issues when I arrive in Santiago in 2 weeks. This will give me time to consider how to respond to her request. The money is not the issue for me as much as her sincerity.


More to the point... is the money more important to HER than her sincerity, (or yours, for that matter). THAT'S the question you must answer. Maybe the way to approach it is to respond with "your finances are very tight right now, but maybe in 6 or 8 months you will be able to help her out" .... and judge by her response to that. If she sticks with you... I guess her sincerity is apparent.
 

mbgmike

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Jan 17, 2012
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Sure they do. I hear it all the time..... Where's my money?????..... you will get used to it, all women are the same with money
 

santiagodude

Member
Nov 25, 2012
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Is she your first girlfriend in the DR?
She is not my first girlfriend in the DR but she is the first that was not transparently inauthentic.
In other words the intentions of my other girlfriend were easily seen and unacceptable. In this case up to now my new girlfriends actions have been "normal" (for lack of a better word).
 

santiagodude

Member
Nov 25, 2012
513
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More to the point... is the money more important to HER than her sincerity, (or yours, for that matter). THAT'S the question you must answer. Maybe the way to approach it is to respond with "your finances are very tight right now, but maybe in 6 or 8 months you will be able to help her out" .... and judge by her response to that. If she sticks with you... I guess her sincerity is apparent.

This may be a good way to determine where her heart is......good advice
 

Redscot

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Dec 10, 2004
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A lot of good advice given so far. On the other hand money for education is never a bad thing...pay her university bill and no more (if it's PUCMM, maybe not :nervous:). Just my 2 cents.
 
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