Another one bites the dust, but does separation need to be so costly?

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Givadogahome

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Sep 27, 2011
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I recently met a guy, fairly new to the country, previously he had been visiting regularly and sparked up a relationship. If appears he fell head over heels, decided to make the move, residency application, rented an apartment, fully furnished it, and to top it off moved his woman in with him (there might even be a kid involved, but I'm unsure).
From my understanding the relationship sprung up a few years ago, but they have only been living together 5 or 6 months.
So I was talking with him last night and he was telling me how the relationship is on its last legs, infact is over, but she is telling him that she gets all the furnishings, EVERYTHING if they separate.

Now I know this is the norm (for expat-Dom relationships anyway), I've a few expat friends who lost the furnishing of the home after separation of a long term relationship, but surely a relationship so young would not warrant a similar outcome. In fact is this even legal, I don't know if this is just 'the right thing to do' and so everyone just does it, or if it is law. Seems a bit unfair (as if that makes any difference here) to be obligated to so much after such a short period.

Does anyone know more than me about this kind of thing?

I met this guy at one of my meetings, needless to say this is not helping his recovery.
 
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mountainannie

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Dec 11, 2003
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elizabetheames.blogspot.com
I have only heard rumors around the gender court.. but it does seem that the woman gets the furniture. AT THE LEAST.. the bed,. That kept being the expression I heard from the attorney.. THE BED,, they cannot leave her without a bed. But my basic take is just give her the stuff. He will pay for it either in cash or headaches.
 
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Givadogahome

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Sep 27, 2011
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Be interesting know if this is a legality or not (can't believe all the failed relationships on here and no one has been to court over this). The guys I know have just given everything away to get them out of their hair. There must be some guidelines, I mean, what is to stop him saying she never moved in anyway, her name is not on any contract as far as I know. This is why I wonder, there is only her word that says so, she bought nothing and so how can anything legally belong to her, I thought this system didn't care about domestics, a guy can beat the crap out of a woman and nothing gets done, a woman can chop off a guys dick and she will get a slap on the wrists, but if a couple separate then all of a sudden they want to get involved, what gives.
In fact the only people I know who have given the stuff to them are expats, I've a feeling it's a one rule for us, one for them.
 
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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Why the #$%% do you think she was with him in the first place ?? Poor bastid never reads DR1....

IF this can be proven to be a monogamous, steady relationship over those 5 months, she does get a share of the goodies acquired.

There are a couple of things that he can do.
When she is out of the house, he can move everything to a new address that she does not know about. He can leave the bed since it brought him bad luck..

IF there is a kid--his kid, with DNA proof and everything--he needs to man up and get the kid a US passport asap, (or whatever country he is from) and amicably split with this female. IF that kid is his, she has him by the short hairs...a judge will award her child maintenance until he is 18...

Can you say "Est?pido" yup, that's our guy...


HB (not very charitable today)
 
S

SKY

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Apr 11, 2004
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Better move fast. The first time he is out for any length of time there will be nothing left for him to worry about.
 
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thomasj

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Mar 31, 2010
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Going through a divorce her myself I remember that everything including car and bank account has to be split up 50/50.
If one partner owned real estate before the marriage it stays in that persons name.
Comman law marriage is not known here.In this case th splitting up of goods is probably subject to negotiations. Since no one
knows how to negotiate here, violence is often used as a substitute.
 
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william webster

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Jan 16, 2009
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A friend of mine went to work one day.......... returned home to find his wife had left with EVERYTHING.....

It was Toronto, in winter = dark

She even took all the light bulbs............ forgot one.... the refrigerator had a light bulb.... his only one

She was not a Dominicana......mean spirited women can be found anywhere.

My friend has since switched teams...... for real
 
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barker1964

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Apr 1, 2009
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william webster said:
A friend of mine went to work one day.......... returned home to find his wife had left with EVERYTHING.....

It was Toronto, in winter = dark

She even took all the light bulbs............ forgot one.... the refrigerator had a light bulb.... his only one

She was not a Dominicana......mean spirited women can be found anywhere.

My friend has since switched teams...... for real
Click to expand...

Maybe she knew that he was a switch hitter......LOL
 
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Givadogahome

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Sep 27, 2011
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thomasj said:
Comman law marriage is not known here.In this case th splitting up of goods is probably subject to negotiations. Since no one
knows how to negotiate here, violence is often used as a substitute.
Click to expand...

Kind of the point of the thread, how can someone be ENTITLED to something if there is no law specifying exactly who is entitled to what. I understand common law is making an appearance and creeping in but it is still confusing as no law has been put in place, exactly. If the apartment is in his name, why can't he just take his keys off her and drag her out and close the door behind him. She can't really do anything if there is no law to protect her. In fact if there is no law to protect her then by default it should be protecting him.

I always told my wife if we split and she starts demanding things that she is not entitled to then I'd chop her fingers off if she still went ahead and took it, as it would be stealing. Lets hope that day never comes, but you never know, she is putting on a little weight
 
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DennyDee88

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Sep 12, 2011
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If your friend is still making money, tell him to just part with the stuff. He can always get more stuff. His piece of mind will be well worth the sacrifice to get the cancer out of his life. Like I always say, the best thing in life is to be happy!
 
La Profe_1

La Profe_1

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Oct 15, 2003
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Givadogahome said:
In fact the only people I know who have given the stuff to them are expats, I've a feeling it's a one rule for us, one for them.
Click to expand...

it isn't just expats. My landlord in Puerto Plata (Dominican) went through a divorce several years ago. The now ex-wife (also Dominican) took all the furniture and even tried to take the furniture from the apartments which were rented furnished.
 
J

Jumbo

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Jul 8, 2005
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The guy wanted to play house and now will pay. Since the girl most likely sold her prized furniture to move in with Gringo Grande including the 25 year old Zenith he will need to make her whole. She will need a 40" flat screen for many hours of novella and cartoon watching if a child is involved. I heard barrio social status is now measured on how big your TV is.
 
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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Hillbilly said:
Why the #$%% do you think she was with him in the first place ?? Poor bastid never reads DR1....

IF this can be proven to be a monogamous, steady relationship over those 5 months, she does get a share of the goodies acquired.

There are a couple of things that he can do.
When she is out of the house, he can move everything to a new address that she does not know about. He can leave the bed since it brought him bad luck..

IF there is a kid--his kid, with DNA proof and everything--he needs to man up and get the kid a US passport asap, (or whatever country he is from) and amicably split with this female. IF that kid is his, she has him by the short hairs...a judge will award her child maintenance until he is 18...

Can you say "Est?pido" yup, that's our guy...


HB (not very charitable today)
Click to expand...

If You notice, I said "If" ..while commonlay,, sorry, "commonlaw" marriages are not recognized, long term relationships--more than three months in some cases--that meet certain conditions as mentioned above, do have weight in court.

Your friend, as I mentioned, can do a few things and he can move her out, but she will b!tch to a lawyer and then you are in court and you lose. If he is working outside the place, the scenario described above (from Canada) will be even worse, since the appliance also go!! Not even that lightbulb will be there.

If his (with proof) child is involved, he needs to man up and take charge. Come on!

This can get really nasty and if he is recovering, all the more tense. Please advise him to see legal help in this case ...

GET A LAWYER--PREFERABLY A PITBULL TYPE !!

hb
 
Z

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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Cheap price to pay. Give her the stuff and find someone else who already has her own furniture.
 
C

Castle

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Sep 1, 2012
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Maybe there is no law about it (and I'm not so sure), but any judge can rule they had a man and wife relationship if she can provide enough proof of this. In that case, the same rules as in a regular marriage apply. Take into account there is a very high rate of "common law" marriage among the lower classes, so judges are used to treat these as regular marriages.
My advise would be to take whatever he can with him, and forget about the rest.
 
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Givadogahome

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Sep 27, 2011
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Unfortunately he fell off the wagon yesterday and so I'm not in a position to get any further involved due to this.

If they don't stop with the obligatory arrivals lobotomy then this country might get a bad rep for gold diggers, whores and freeloader:eek:
 
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PeterInBrat

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May 29, 2006
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I just saw a post the other day that said it's best to rent furniture in the novia's name. Then if things don't work out she has to keep up the payments. Kind of wonder though what rental rates are like. In the US it's about 5% of the retail value per week.
 
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