An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor"s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it"s like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. "We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin" it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
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Patient: ?Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?? Doctor: ?Limp!
Doctor, doctor, these pills you gave me for BO are rubbish!? ?What?s wrong with them?? ?They keep slipping out of my armpits!?
?Doctor, doctor, there?s a strawberry growing out the top of my head.? ?I?ll give you some cream to put on that.?
?Doctor, doctor, I?ve lost my memory!? ?When did this happen?? ?When did what happen?
Doctor, doctor, I?m a kleptomaniac!? ?Take these pills and if that doesn?t work pick me up a DVD player.?
Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses.? ?You certainly do. This is a garage.?
?Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I?m a dog.? ?Sit on the couch and we?ll talk about it.? ?I can?t, I?m not allowed on the couch!?
?Doctor, doctor, I feel terrible!? ?What are the symptoms?? ?It?s a cartoon show with yellow people.?
Doctor, doctor, I can?t stop my hands shaking!? ?Do you drink a lot?? ?Of course not. I spill most of it!?
Doctor, doctor, I can?t get to sleep.? ?Sit on the edge of the bed and you?ll soon drop off.?
?Doctor, doctor, have you got something for a headache?? ?Yes. Take this hammer and hit yourself on the head.?
Doctor, doctor, can you cure my sleepwalking?? ?Try these.? ?Are they sleeping pills?? ?No. They?re tin tacks. Sprinkle them on the floor.?
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Patient: ?Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?? Doctor: ?Limp!
Doctor, doctor, these pills you gave me for BO are rubbish!? ?What?s wrong with them?? ?They keep slipping out of my armpits!?
?Doctor, doctor, there?s a strawberry growing out the top of my head.? ?I?ll give you some cream to put on that.?
?Doctor, doctor, I?ve lost my memory!? ?When did this happen?? ?When did what happen?
Doctor, doctor, I?m a kleptomaniac!? ?Take these pills and if that doesn?t work pick me up a DVD player.?
Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses.? ?You certainly do. This is a garage.?
?Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I?m a dog.? ?Sit on the couch and we?ll talk about it.? ?I can?t, I?m not allowed on the couch!?
?Doctor, doctor, I feel terrible!? ?What are the symptoms?? ?It?s a cartoon show with yellow people.?
Doctor, doctor, I can?t stop my hands shaking!? ?Do you drink a lot?? ?Of course not. I spill most of it!?
Doctor, doctor, I can?t get to sleep.? ?Sit on the edge of the bed and you?ll soon drop off.?
?Doctor, doctor, have you got something for a headache?? ?Yes. Take this hammer and hit yourself on the head.?
Doctor, doctor, can you cure my sleepwalking?? ?Try these.? ?Are they sleeping pills?? ?No. They?re tin tacks. Sprinkle them on the floor.?