How nice lawyers are

frank recktenwald

frank recktenwald

Platinum
Jun 18, 2007
14,280
503
113
www.rentalmetrocountry.com
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along side the road eating grass. Concerned over the scene, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food;" the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass to survive."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "I am grateful for your generousity, but, sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.?

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
 
S

skynet

Bronze
Aug 25, 2013
1,238
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0
And it was sprayed with weed killer too, worse day of my life, damn Lawyer..sigh!!!



frank recktenwald said:
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along side the road eating grass. Concerned over the scene, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food;" the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass to survive."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "I am grateful for your generousity, but, sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
Click to expand...
 
Z

zoomzx11

Gold
Jan 21, 2006
8,367
842
113
Ever wonder why there are so many jokes about lawyers behavior? The poet Carl Sandberg got it right when he famously said " first lets kill all the lawyers".
 
C

Castle

Silver
Sep 1, 2012
2,982
1
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Someday I'll graduate from law school.
Not because I want to be a lawyer, but because I want to know how does it feels to be a SOB!
 
E

Empiric

New member
Apr 24, 2013
470
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lawyers are 'a necessary evil",

Christian spoke of women as a necessary evil too, but that is another topic
 
E

Empiric

New member
Apr 24, 2013
470
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an engineer goes to hell but found it too hot, agreed with Satan and installed air conditioners

God called Satan... wtf! you are not allowed to have air conditioning !!!

Satan: so what?

God: I will sue you

Satan: how? ALL lawyers are here with me :)
 
bachata

bachata

Aprendiz de todo profesional de nada
Aug 18, 2007
5,358
1,256
113
zoomzx11 said:
Ever wonder why there are so many jokes about lawyers behavior? The poet Carl Sandberg got it right when he famously said " first lets kill all the lawyers".
Click to expand...

Just think about a man who know for a fact that his client killed his wife, that him had cut the body in several pieces and dumped in the trash container...

The lawyer does, and he will try to defend the murderer for the money.

All you can say about this man is nothing!

JJ
 
E

Empiric

New member
Apr 24, 2013
470
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the system does not work

you can initiate a criminal complaint and dont spend a penny, but usually you dont get any tangible thing out of it.

if you start a civil complaint you may, but you as the plaintiff, better have a deepper pocket than the defendant
 
bronzeallspice

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it," I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you?" "Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone."
 
bronzeallspice

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
Two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!" The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We're both here."
 
bronzeallspice

bronzeallspice

Live everyday like it's your last
Mar 26, 2012
11,009
2
38
A man went to a lawyer for a defense after he had been caught embezzling millions from his employer. He was concerned about going to jail, but was told by the attorney, "Don't worry--you'll never go to jail with all that money." The lawyer was right. When the man went to prison, he didn't have a dime.
 
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