Interview with God

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Channel 9 News Report

C9R; Hi, this is Peter Engels with Channel 9 News. I am in St. Paul Minnesota at the downtown Christian Bible Church for a special interview. Before we begin that interview I had a few questions with the pastor here.

C9R: I’m here with Pastor Richard Smith, pastor of the Christian Bible Church in St. Paul, Minnesota. Pastor Smith, I’m going to begin with a basic question. Who do you worship?
Protestant Preacher: I worship God.
C9R: Do also worship Jesus?
Protestant Preacher: Yes.
C9R: Then you worship two gods.
Protestant Preacher: They are both one in the same.
C9R: If they are both one in the same, then wouldn’t they think the same?
Protestant Preacher: Yes, that would make them the same.

Well, we at Channel 9 News had a unique opportunity to sit down with both God and Jesus and discuss with them if they truly are the same. Both of them agreed to give us a few minutes out of their busy schedule. We are fortunate enough because they have the power to do anything.

Because we can’t look directly at God because of his greatness, he is wearing an overcoat with a large beard, hat and sunglasses, but I promise you, it really is him.

First of all I want to thank both of you very much for giving me an interview. In the past two thousand years you had turned down public appearances. Why do you think that is?

God; huh, I was tired. I have to be everywhere.
C9R; Well I can perfectly understand that, you are both very busy gods. It must be overwhelming for you.
God; We prefer you refer to us as god as oppose to godzzzz.
C9R: Ok, I apologize, that is actually the reason for my interview, and so, let me get right to the point. People say you are both the same god, is that correct.
God: Yes, I.. …
Jesus: No, … I’m sorry pop, you go ahead.
God: Yes, we are the same. He’s my boy, but we are both one in the same.
C9R: So being the same god, you both must agree on everything, is that correct?
God; Yes…
Jesus; No, ….sorry pop.
God; As part of the Holy Trinity, we are the same god and therefore we are the same in everything. The Bible is clear in stating that people should worship only the Lord their god, referring to the three of us. It sounds confusing to you but for us gods its easy.
C9R; Did you say godzzz
God; I meant god.
C9R; Well, we would have asked the Holy Spirit to come and sit with us but he doesn’t speak. Is he like a brother, a cousin, a mother-in-law, or what?
God; He’s a spirit; there’s no blood relation, so to speak.
C9R; How does the Holy Spirit work?
Jesus; You know the fuzzy feeling you get when you see an ugly person being told that he or she is beautiful?
C9R; Yes.
Jesus; That’s him.
C9R; Okay let me get back to my point. I will begin with you, Jesus. If mankind suddenly rebelled against you and burned down their churches and all of their bibles, how would you react?

Jesus; Hmmm. Well, the first thing I would do, being a god of love, is I would send angels down accompanied by a flock of doves to calm them. Then I would appear before them while raining flowers from the sky and speak parables to them to show them love, peace, and understanding and open their eyes to what they are doing and to reacquire their faith and obedience. If they still have doubt, I would perform miracles of healing to reinforce their belief.

C9R; Ok, that’s very comforting and reassuring, Jesus. You sound like a very forgiving god. Now, let me ask you god, the father. How would you react?
God; If ALL of them rebelled against me? Whew. That would be really **** me off..
C9R; Tell us how you might react.

God; First I would probably command the arsonists to be stoned to death. Slowwwwly. One pebble at a time. Then I would command a rain of fire from the sky to scare the you know what out of them, followed by plagues of leeches, spiders, rats, and snakes. Then I would release the angel of death on them to kill all of their first born children. If that didn’t work I would wipe them all out with a flood and start over.

C9R; I see. A somewhat different response than your cohort, wouldn’t say?
God; I have to be honest, I’m god.
C9R; Okay, well what about the other cultures who don’t even have Christian churches or bibles to burn?
God: What about them? They’re going to hell anyway when they die.
C9R; Doesn’t that seem a little unfair?
God; Hey, I brought’em into this world, I can take’em out.
C9R; I think I like Jesus’s response better. God, your idea sounds more old school. I sense from listening to both of you that you are not on the same page and after just one question it seems obvious to me that I’m speaking to two Gods. .
God; I told you we are one!
C9R; Okay, okay, you’re one.
God; Let me move on. God, why didn’t you mention Jesus’s existence in the Old Testament?
God; I didn’t think it was important at the time.
C9R; How do you feel about not being important, Jesus?
Jesus; It didn’t really bother me. My biggest fear was ****ing off god. He threatened to send me to the cross if I misbehaved.
C9R; Let’s talk about that. God, why did you feel a need to have your son go through that punishment as opposed to just changing the rules without it.

God; One day I started to feel really guilty about the Great flood. I was like “Did I just do that? That’s like genocide. Oh my god, I need help. I decided Jesus needed to make amends. He realized what was happening and quickly disappeared, but being god, I managed to find him.
C9R; The Bible says you did it to cleanse us of our sins so we may not perish but have everlasting life.
God; Okay.
C9R; Uh, well let me ask you this. What if you had sacrificed YOUR life instead of your son? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate sacrifice?
God; I can’t even imagine that.

C9R; I can’t either. I’ll change the subject. What was with your obsession with the Jews. Two thousand years ago there were people suffering all over the planet but you chose to help the Jews escape captivity in Egypt, promised them land, and helped them slaughter their enemies. The Jews today are claiming Jesus isn’t even a god; he’s just a man like me. That certainly can’t sit well with you after all you did for them.

God; I’m ****ed, I’m not going to lie to you. I liked Moses, he was a good-ole boy and thought the Jews deserved something better. I actually believed their ancestors would accept the trinity when I chose to reveal it. I feel betrayed.

C9R; God, the father, If you had to send your son to be sacrificed, why didn’t you send him to another part of the world? In China, for example, there were millions of Asian Confusionists living there at the time of Christ. You would have made maximum impact to the human race in an area of the world where there was no belief or even understanding of Christianity.
Jesus; That was my personal decision. I preferred the weather in the Middle East.

God; It was ultimately my responsibility. I knew white men would not have accepted a Chinese man on the cross. They’re a racist bunch. .
C9R; But you made it difficult to spread the new word to that part of the world.
God; Hey, I’m only god, I can’t please everyone.

C9R; Okay, well that concludes our time and our interview. I want to thank you both very much for coming. I don’t think we clarified the similarity of the 3 in one god but we certainly have a better understanding of why it is not understood. Maybe in the future another volume of the Bible will come out which will have a fairer plan for people avoid the pitfall of hell for a simple misunderstanding of something that seems difficult to understand or simply not hearing the truth because they live in a part of the world who heard less about it. We can only hope. That’s all for here, Peter Engels, Channel 9 news, in St. Paul.
 

windeguy

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Jul 10, 2004
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When you make up stories, they have a way of eventually catching up to you, even if you are "god".
 

Celt202

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May 22, 2004
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I Don't Believe in God but I Fear Him - Krauthammer

Asked in a recent interview to describe his belief in God, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Charles Krauthammer replied that he doesn?t believe in God, but he still fears Him.

Krauthammer, who is Jewish, referenced Einstein and Newton in his response, but there were no references to the Bible as he answered:

There was once a philosopher who said, ?I don?t believe in God, but I fear him greatly.? That?s about where I am. There?s another, a Jewish poet, a Yiddishist, who once said, ?Great and magnificent is the God of my belief.?
I?ve had a fairly difficult and complicated notion of the deity. If I tried to explain it I would simply say ? and this is by no means associating myself with the greatness of the man ? but I would associate myself with Einstein?s conception of God, which was a recognition and an awe before the mystery of the order and beauty of the universe, which would imply that there is something very mysterious and very awesome ? awe-inspiring ? about the universe.

I feel the way, I think what Newton once said: ?I feel like a snail on the side of a great ocean, and the idea that I could understand a notion like God, or humans can, is, as it were, expecting a snail to understand the motion of the tides through calculus and physics. That?s not possible.?

So I see the same kind of intellectual gap, being the capacity of humans to understand in any deep sense about theology or God, as for a snail to figure out how the tides work. That sort of summarizes my view. Einstein said, ?God does not play dice with the universe.? He said that in rejecting quantum mechanics 'cause it involves probabilities, which he doesn?t think that God deals in those because of the elegance and beauty of things. Einstein understood his equations. There?s no probability in E=MC2. I mean, that?s the entire modern physics, in, what is it? Five letters.



Krauthammer: I Don't Believe in God, but I Fear Him
 

Uzin

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Oct 26, 2005
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Separate God from religion and you will be fine.

Through the ages they always enforced the idea of the need for the existence of the two together - but that is just human weakness (most of us need someone to tell us what to do).... !?
 

Celt202

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May 22, 2004
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Separate God from religion and you will be fine.

Through the ages they always enforced the idea of the need for the existence of the two together - but that is just human weakness (most of us need someone to tell us what to do).... !?

Then there's dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lies awake at night wondering if there is really a Dog.
 

puryear270

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Aug 26, 2009
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Being someone who strongly believes in a Divine Being, I normally ignore the commentaries about religion here on DR1.

But in this case, I'll make an exception.

The "interview" that was posted is exceptional and very thought provoking, humorously pointing out the inconsistencies in Christianity's view of God. I highly commend the author. If that is frank12, then he has done an excellent job. If he has only cut and pasted from another source, then I thank him for sharing.

The only thing I can add is to paraphrase Lewis Black: Having the kid mellowed God out a lot.
 

Lucifer

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Jun 26, 2012
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Separate God from religion and you will be fine.

What? Sorry. No can do. Religion equals god or godzzz. Whether Celtie likes it or not! And Sundie's godzzz are White Noise and Ayn Rand. Case closed. He dicho, CARAJO!
 

Celt202

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May 22, 2004
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What? Sorry. No can do. Religion equals god or godzzz. Whether Celtie likes it or not! And Sundie's godzzz are White Noise and Ayn Rand. Case closed. He dicho, CARAJO!

Joey jejune checks in with his usual shallow stuff.
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Answer to this video link above:

Let?s begin by looking in the mirror. You're not just descended from apes, you *are* an ape. Your tail is just a stub of bones (the coccyx). Your dentition includes not only vestigial canines, but incisors, cuspids, bicuspids, and distinctive molars that come to five points interrupted by a "Y" shaped crevasse. This, taken together with all of your other traits, like the dramatically increased range of motion in your shoulder, as well as a profound increase in cranial capacity and disposition toward a bipedal gait, gives you a set of characteristics which all apes share, but no other living organisms share.

You're also a mammal, because you are homeothermic (warm-blooded), follicle-bearing and have lactal nipples, as all mammals do.

You're also a tetrapod. You have only four limbs. So you are like all other terrestrial vertebrates including frogs. Even snakes and whales are tetrapods in that both still retain vestigial or fetal evidence of all four limbs.

You are also a vertebrate, like all mammals, birds, dinosaurs, reptiles, amphibians, and most fish.

You are also an animal, because you are incapable of manufacturing your own food and must compensate for that by ingesting other organisms. In other words, your most basic structure requires that you cause death to other living things.

And that's just the tip of a massive iceberg of evidence. Here's another titbit:

A substantial proportion of the human genome is relic DNA from retroviruses - genetic code which became fixed in our germline DNA from infections millions of years ago. By comparing our genome with that of other species, we can see that some of these insertions are relatively recent (within the last 5 million years) and so are only found in humans. Others which occurred longer ago are found in the same place in both human and chimpanzee DNA, demonstrating that the incorporation happened in a common ancestor before the evolutionary divergence of chimps and humans. Others occurred tens of millions of years earlier still, and are present in 'old world' monkeys and apes (including humans), but not in 'new world' monkeys, demonstrating that the virus found its way into the genes after old and new world monkeys diverged but before apes evolved.

A point about this evidence: Retroviral DNA isn't genetic information for making a human (or a chimpanzee or whatever), it's genetic information for making a virus. There's no plausible reason for viral DNA to be in our genome unless it was inserted there during a viral infection, and there's no plausible reason for us to have the same viral DNA in the same place in our genome as a chimpanzee does, unless we both inherited it from a common ancestor which acquired it during a viral infection.
In my undergraduate studies we examined several cases of speciation in vertebrates as well as invertebrates. Speciation is the starting point of evolution, that one animal can change is such a way that it no longer breeds with the original animal.

One frog species was verifiably traced down the east coast of the United States noting the changes that took place the further south it went. In the end, the Maine representative and the Georgia representative were quite dissimilar and no longer interbred with each other but the steps from one to the other were clearly documented.

In Hawaii, birds were clearly speciated from one island to another. The geographic separation allowed the representatives to develop in divergent ways to become separate species.

Insects such as fruit flies can change and speciate quite rapidly.
These examples were in standard zoology text books.
 

windeguy

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Jul 10, 2004
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Atheists are not afraid of things that are not yet explained. We can accept that not all things can be explained while at the same time not making up imaginary reasons and beings to explain them.

Religious people have a fear, a fear of god, because they think their imaginary being works in mysterious ways that they are not capable of comprehending.
 

windeguy

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Jul 10, 2004
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So this Bobo is looking for a human who is millions of years old, or what?
He left me hanging as to what he expected.
Der Fish

Bobo, the interviewer, chooses not understand evolution since he wanted proof for a "change of kind" that he could observe in real time. It is a Creationist ploy to feel good about the Creation Myth in which he believes.
 

Mauricio

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Nov 18, 2002
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Not being able to explain something is one thing, presenting something as scientifically proven, while it is not observable and can't be falsified or rectified is a whole different thing. Just admit that macro evolution is a belief (a faith) based on a whole string of assumptions. I respect your belief in (macro) evolution and expect the same respect for my belief (faith) in creation, also based on something I can't scientifically proof.

I won't get into how ridiculous it is to believe in everything coming into being by chance.

Besides that it's very easy to make a caricature of Christian theology as the OP does, especially when obviously speaking out of real or feigned ignorance.
 

windeguy

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Jul 10, 2004
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Not being able to explain something is one thing, presenting something as scientifically proven, while it is not observable and can't be falsified or rectified is a whole different thing. Just admit that macro evolution is a belief (a faith) based on a whole string of assumptions. I respect your belief in (macro) evolution and expect the same respect for my belief (faith) in creation, also based on something I can't scientifically proof.


Forget about Macro Evolution. There is just evolution.

I won't get into how ridiculous it is to believe in everything coming into being by chance.

Everything was not by chance. There is a scientific explanation with no need for imaginary beings that also involves chance.

Besides that it's very easy to make a caricature of Christian theology as the OP does, especially when obviously speaking out of real or feigned ignorance.

Yes it is true, it is easy to make fun of any and all religions. There is a good reason for that. I respect your right to deceive yourself with religion, but I will not respect your beliefs as having any basis in reality.
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Not being able to explain something is one thing, presenting something as scientifically proven, while it is not observable and can't be falsified or rectified is a whole different thing. Just admit that macro evolution is a belief (a faith) based on a whole string of assumptions. I respect your belief in (macro) evolution and expect the same respect for my belief (faith) in creation, also based on something I can't scientifically proof.

I won't get into how ridiculous it is to believe in everything coming into being by chance.

Besides that it's very easy to make a caricature of Christian theology as the OP does, especially when obviously speaking out of real or feigned ignorance.

Speciation is the starting point of evolution, that one animal can change is such a way that it no longer breeds with the original animal.

One frog species was verifiably traced down the east coast of the United States noting the changes that took place the further south it went. In the end, the Maine representative and the Georgia representative were quite dissimilar and no longer interbred with each other but the steps from one to the other were clearly documented.

In Hawaii, birds were clearly speciated from one island to another. The geographic separation allowed the representatives to develop in divergent ways to become separate species.

Insects such as fruit flies can change and speciate quite rapidly.
These examples were in standard zoology text books.
 

Lucifer

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Jun 26, 2012
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Saundie is a theist pretending to be an anti-theist pretending to be a theist.

Talk about a riddle wrapped in a mistery inside an enigma... only simpler. If he could spell properly, he'd be a compendium of conundrums... all by himself. But that's fine: Celtie will come to his rescue.
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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Saundie is a theist pretending to be an anti-theist pretending to be a theist.

Talk about a riddle wrapped in a mistery inside an enigma... only simpler. If he could spell properly, he'd be a compendium of conundrums... all by himself. But that's fine: Celtie will come to his rescue.

Silly paloma, I'm neither, I'm a humanist that believes people are free to believe whatever they want as long as their actions do no harm to others. I have respect for those that have great spirituality, and live their lives aligned with the golden rule. I have no time for arrogance from either theists or anti-theists, and even less use for those that like to live off the
proceeds of others hard work.
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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Answer to this video link above:

Let?s begin by looking in the mirror. You're not just descended from apes, you *are* an ape. Your tail is just a stub of bones (the coccyx). Your dentition includes not only vestigial canines, but incisors, cuspids, bicuspids, and distinctive molars that come to five points interrupted by a "Y" shaped crevasse. This, taken together with all of your other traits, like the dramatically increased range of motion in your shoulder, as well as a profound increase in cranial capacity and disposition toward a bipedal gait, gives you a set of characteristics which all apes share, but no other living organisms share.

You're also a mammal, because you are homeothermic (warm-blooded), follicle-bearing and have lactal nipples, as all mammals do.

You're also a tetrapod. You have only four limbs. So you are like all other terrestrial vertebrates including frogs. Even snakes and whales are tetrapods in that both still retain vestigial or fetal evidence of all four limbs.

You are also a vertebrate, like all mammals, birds, dinosaurs, reptiles, amphibians, and most fish.

You are also an animal, because you are incapable of manufacturing your own food and must compensate for that by ingesting other organisms. In other words, your most basic structure requires that you cause death to other living things.

And that's just the tip of a massive iceberg of evidence. Here's another titbit:

A substantial proportion of the human genome is relic DNA from retroviruses - genetic code which became fixed in our germline DNA from infections millions of years ago. By comparing our genome with that of other species, we can see that some of these insertions are relatively recent (within the last 5 million years) and so are only found in humans. Others which occurred longer ago are found in the same place in both human and chimpanzee DNA, demonstrating that the incorporation happened in a common ancestor before the evolutionary divergence of chimps and humans. Others occurred tens of millions of years earlier still, and are present in 'old world' monkeys and apes (including humans), but not in 'new world' monkeys, demonstrating that the virus found its way into the genes after old and new world monkeys diverged but before apes evolved.

A point about this evidence: Retroviral DNA isn't genetic information for making a human (or a chimpanzee or whatever), it's genetic information for making a virus. There's no plausible reason for viral DNA to be in our genome unless it was inserted there during a viral infection, and there's no plausible reason for us to have the same viral DNA in the same place in our genome as a chimpanzee does, unless we both inherited it from a common ancestor which acquired it during a viral infection.
In my undergraduate studies we examined several cases of speciation in vertebrates as well as invertebrates. Speciation is the starting point of evolution, that one animal can change is such a way that it no longer breeds with the original animal.

One frog species was verifiably traced down the east coast of the United States noting the changes that took place the further south it went. In the end, the Maine representative and the Georgia representative were quite dissimilar and no longer interbred with each other but the steps from one to the other were clearly documented.

In Hawaii, birds were clearly speciated from one island to another. The geographic separation allowed the representatives to develop in divergent ways to become separate species.

Insects such as fruit flies can change and speciate quite rapidly.
These examples were in standard zoology text books.

I don't disagree with any of that. You miss the point of the video.