You Know You're a Hillbilly when:
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch
has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter
smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of.-. "Most Admired People".
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died' right after saying, "Hey, y'all
watch this"
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's "hairdo" was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,"Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding
pictures.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and
down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of
the 'fridge'.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in
the same grade.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart "'cause there's a law against
it."
You dated one of your parents' current spouses... in high school.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Tha's al'right y?ll, I still luv ya!!
HB with a grin
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch
has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter
smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of.-. "Most Admired People".
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died' right after saying, "Hey, y'all
watch this"
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's "hairdo" was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,"Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding
pictures.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and
down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of
the 'fridge'.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in
the same grade.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart "'cause there's a law against
it."
You dated one of your parents' current spouses... in high school.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Tha's al'right y?ll, I still luv ya!!
HB with a grin