Something for everyone: Spanish and english provided for your reading pleasure

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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Something for everyone: Spanish and English almost provided for your reading pleasure

No voy a estornudar m?s!

Es imposible lamerse el codo
Un cocodrilo no puede sacar la lengua.
El coraz?n de la gamba est? en su cabeza
La gente dice "salud" o "jes?s" cuando estornudas, porque durante el estornudo el coraz?n se detiene un milisegundo.
En un estudio de 200 mil avestruces por un per?odo de 80 a?os,
en ning?n caso se report? que una de ellas metiese la cabeza bajo tierra ni lo intentase.
Es f?sicamente imposible para los cerdos mirar al cielo.
Entre los a?os 1937 y 1945 Heinz produjo una versi?n de la sopa
deletras especiales para el mercado alem?n, que consist?a en
peque?as swastikas de pasta.
M?s del 50% de la poblaci?n en el planeta nunca ha hecho ni
recibido una llamada telef?nica.
Ni las ratas ni los caballos pueden vomitar.
Si estornudas muy fuerte, puedes fracturarte una costilla.
Si tratas de contener un estorunudo, puedes romper un vaso
sangu?neo en la cabeza o el cuello y morir.
Si mantienes abiertos a la fuerza los ojos, saltar?n fuera de
su ?rbita.
Las ratas se multiplican tan r?pidamente que en 18 meses, dos
ratas pueden tener m?s de un mill?n de descendientes.
Usar aud?fonos durante s?lo una hora aumenta la bacter?as en el
o?do unas 700 veces.
Si el gobierno americano asegura que no tiene conocimiento
sobre extraterrestres, ?porqu? en el t?tulo 14, secci?n 1211 del
C?digo de Regulaci?n Federal, implementado el 16 de julio de 1969, se
declara ilegal que los ciudadanos de Estados Unidos tengan alg?n tipo
de contacto con extraterrestres o sus veh?culos?
En cada cap?tulo de la serie Seinfel hay un Superman en alg?n
sitio.
El mechero se invent? antes que las cerillas.
El 35% de las personas que recurren a los anuncios personales
para encontrar parejas, ya est?n casadas.
El "cuac" de un pato no produce eco y nadie sabe porqu?.
El 23% de los fallos en las fotocopiadoras en el mundo est?n
causados por personas que se sientan encima y se fotocopian el culo.
Durante el tiempo medio de vida de una persona, mientras
duerme, se habr? comido un surtido de 70 insectos y unas 10 ara?as.
La mayor?a de los pintalabios contienen escamas de pescados.
La orina de los gatos brilla con la luz negra (esa de las
discotecas)
Igual que las huellas digitales, cada lengua es ?nica.
Apostar?a que has intentado lamerte el codo!! ;-)

The grinning HB Who, in his hillbilly stupidity, did not realize that the English version did not "Paste" . Oh shit! See below!!
 
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Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
I wonder where it went??

In the words of Murphy: WTF???

I have stopped sneezing!

It is impossible to lick your elbow.
A crocodile can?t stick out its tongue
The heart of a shrimp is in its head.
People say Gahzunteit!, or God Bless when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.
In a study of 200 ostriches for over 80 years, showed that there was never a recoded case of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand.
It is physically impossible for a pig to look at the sky
Between 1937 and 1945, the Heinz Company produced, for the German market, a version of the alphabet soup that featured pasta swastikas
More than 50% of the population of this planet has never made or received a phone call
Neither rats or horses can vomit
If you sneeze really hard, you can break a rib.
If you try and stop a sneeze, you can break a vein in the head or neck and die
If you try and keep your eyes open during a sneeze, they can jump out of their sockets
Rats multiply so fast that a pair can, in 18 months, have more than 1,000,000 descendents
Using earphones for only one hour can aid in multiplying the bacteria in your ears by 700 times.
If the US Govt is so sure that they know nothing about extraterrestial life, why does it say in Title 14, section 1211 of the Federal Code of16July1969, that it is illegal for United States citizens to have contact with extraterrestials or their vehicles????
In each chapter of Seinfeld, there was a Superman, somewhere.
The lighter came before the candle (I?m not sure of this translation)
About 35% of the people that go to Personel Ads in the papers, looking for partners, are married
A duck?s ?quack? does not make an echo and nobody knows shy.
23% of the breakdowns of photocopiers are caused by people that sit on the machines to take fotocopies of their asses.
During a normal lifespan a person , during sleep, will have inhaled an assortment of some 70 insects and 10 spiders
Most lipsticks have fishscales as an ingredient
The **** of a cat will shine under black light (Ultraviolet)
The same as fingerprints, each tongue is different
I bet you tried to lick your elbow!!

HB, grinnin? from ear to ear.