What are the chances.....

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Micherie

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Jun 29, 2016
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Hi everyone! Before I get to my post I just want to acknowledge that everyone is different, stereotypes are sometimes bull****, and we are all human and I know that going in. This post is more for my own entertainment than anything else.

I have recently broken two personal rules: Never date someone from work and never date someone with a language barrier ;) This is going to be fun.

A week ago I started dating a Dominican man from work. I work in the office and make almost twice as much as he does, which is not much. He has been working there for about 5 months and I have had a mad crush on him since day one. He has only been in America for 6 months. His niece is our foreman's wife. Our foreman is a Mexican national, but very Americanized and I trust him completely. We are friends. He acted as the go-between and asked me out on his behalf. I am 8 years older. I am a white woman. A total towhead blonde, So Cal native. I took one year of Spanish in 1986. He is divorced from a woman who resides in the DR and has children who also live there.

Anyway..... he seems to be completely enamoured with me, tells me so, and is VERY affectionate (no complaints there!!) and we have been 'flirting' across the shop for months. The catch is that I am a completely independent woman. I am educated and I own my own condo and support myself. I have had and greatly enjoyed open relationships, however, in the process discovered that I am a monogamous woman and have decided that I prefer a monogamous, emotionally intelligent man.

I have been reading a lot online about the 'bad' characteristics of the Dominican man and I really don't want to believe this guy is like that, but you just never know. The language barrier really makes me nervous because it?s hard enough to get to know someone and see their behaviors when we speak the same language.

What do you think the chances are that he is genuine in his affections and intentions? I am perfectly capable of keeping it casual and fun, but I worry that he will get hurt or worse?.. possessive and jealous.

Thanks!! - M
 
V

VJS

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Sep 19, 2010
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Micherie said:
I took one year of Spanish in 1986. He is divorced from a woman who resides in the DR and has children who also live there.
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Sure, he is "divorced" - says he, lol. Wait till he starts coming up with stories of his kids getting into accidents so he can pilfer some cash off you.

Micherie said:
I decided that I prefer a monogamous, emotionally intelligent man.
Click to expand...

Dominicans can be many things..Monogamous, emotionally intelligent man is definitely not one of them...

Micherie said:
What do you think the chances are that he is genuine in his affections and intentions? I am perfectly capable of keeping it casual and fun, but I worry that he will get hurt or worse?.. possessive and jealous.
Click to expand...

You think *he* will get hurt or worse? - no worries, he won't. You probably will though...
 
J

jd426

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Dec 12, 2009
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tell him you dont have a dime in any of your bank accounts, and your upside down in your Condo mortgage,
and so if would be a Man, and pay for dinners etc ..

and you will find out real fast what he is or is not .
 
L

Lobo Tropical

Silver
Aug 21, 2010
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Ma Cherie, Cal girl - or Cowgirl??? could be both

Micherie said:
Hi everyone! Before I get to my post I just want to acknowledge that everyone is different, stereotypes are sometimes bull****, and we are all human and I know that going in. This post is more for my own entertainment than anything else.

I have recently broken two personal rules: Never date someone from work and never date someone with a language barrier ;) This is going to be fun.

A week ago I started dating a Dominican man from work. I work in the office and make almost twice as much as he does, which is not much. He has been working there for about 5 months and I have had a mad crush on him since day one. He has only been in America for 6 months. His niece is our foreman's wife. Our foreman is a Mexican national, but very Americanized and I trust him completely. We are friends. He acted as the go-between and asked me out on his behalf. I am 8 years older. I am a white woman. A total towhead blonde, So Cal native. I took one year of Spanish in 1986. He is divorced from a woman who resides in the DR and has children who also live there.

Anyway..... he seems to be completely enamoured with me, tells me so, and is VERY affectionate (no complaints there!!) and we have been 'flirting' across the shop for months. The catch is that I am a completely independent woman. I am educated and I own my own condo and support myself. I have had and greatly enjoyed open relationships, however, in the process discovered that I am a monogamous woman and have decided that I prefer a monogamous, emotionally intelligent man.

I have been reading a lot online about the 'bad' characteristics of the Dominican man and I really don't want to believe this guy is like that, but you just never know. The language barrier really makes me nervous because it’s hard enough to get to know someone and see their behaviors when we speak the same language.

What do you think the chances are that he is genuine in his affections and intentions? I am perfectly capable of keeping it casual and fun, but I worry that he will get hurt or worse….. possessive and jealous.

Thanks!! - M
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Micherie,
Your name would fit well in the DR, as they are very creative with names.
No worries, You post for the same reason as most here.
Being educated and a Cal native I would have assumed that you are fluent in Spanish by now.
You can date him and stay independent.
You will find out soon if he's possess emotional intelligence and whether he is monogamous.
Your chances of success are similar to anyone else.
Don't worry that he will get hurt, he is a man after all (emotionally strong)
Just grab the bull by the horns and ride him, don't get thrown though. :cheeky:
 
Bronxboy

Bronxboy

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2007
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Lobo Tropical said:
Just grab the bull by the horns and ride him, don't get thrown though. :cheeky:
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hahahahaha

Nice play on words. You might have done this unintentionally.

Horns in Spanish is "cuernos" which, in Spanish, stands also for:

Poner los cuernos loc. col. Ser infiel a la pareja. In plain English that means ?to cheat [on someone]? or ?to be unfaithful?.
 
C

charlise

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Nov 1, 2012
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I don't know how old you are but I would suggest a good tumble in bed and get over it !!!....

Or like jd426 said, tell him you are completely broke and you would like him to help you pay your bills.... Just sit and wait....

From an old b*tch who's been living in the DR for the last 5 years....
 
R

rfp

Gold
Jul 5, 2010
1,402
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There is a level of cunning and deceitfulness in anything that we do as a people. I would stay clear and stick to the nerdy white boys :)
 
frank recktenwald

frank recktenwald

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Jun 18, 2007
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www.rentalmetrocountry.com
What is this, another suckpuppet?
Strong independent (middle aged?) woman asking complete strangers on a public forum their opinion about her relationship with an 8 year younger Dominican who hardly makes any money but she makes twice as much?
Who cares what we think just bang the guy and have fun, life is short and who knows how many chances you have left to score an 8 year younger guy. ;)
 
E

Expat13

Silver
Jun 7, 2008
3,255
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frank recktenwald said:
What is this, another suckpuppet?
Strong independent (middle aged?) woman asking complete strangers on a public forum their opinion about her relationship with an 8 year younger Dominican who hardly makes any money but she makes twice as much?
Who cares what we think just bang the guy and have fun, life is short and who knows how many chances you have left to score an 8 year younger guy. ;)
Click to expand...

in this country you can do that with a much larger age gap for as long as you like, but make no mistake its P4P or maybe P4D in this case.
 
Ecoman1949

Ecoman1949

Born to Ride.
Oct 17, 2015
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Mi Cherie,

Welcome to the DR1 site. Always a good source of information if your able to sort through the crap that goes with it. Speaking as a nerdy white guy ( older nerdy white guy) who has had a few relationships with younger DR women, a relationship here is never simple. Invariably it will come down to money and your ability to provide it to your new friend and his extended family. As mercenary as that sounds, it's true. Charlise is right.

You won't be able to have a casual relationship with him because, culturally he won't be able to have one with you. Your living in a machismo based society. Now I meet and date women from the US, Canada, Europe, etc. I stay at a resort during the winter so it's easy for me to meet foreign women. They understand the concept of casual sex and most are in the DR for short periods of time and don't want any long term commitments.

Good luck. Be careful and keep your purse closed.
 
frank recktenwald

frank recktenwald

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Jun 18, 2007
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Ecoman1949 said:
Mi Cherie,

Welcome to the DR1 site. Always a good source of information if your able to sort through the crap that goes with it. Speaking as a nerdy white guy ( older nerdy white guy) who has had a few relationships with younger DR women, a relationship here is never simple. Invariably it will come down to money and your ability to provide it to your new friend and his extended family. As mercenary as that sounds, it's true. Charlise is right.

You won't be able to have a casual relationship with him because, culturally he won't be able to have one with you. Your living in a machismo based society. Now I meet and date women from the US, Canada, Europe, etc. I stay at a resort during the winter so it's easy for me to meet foreign women. They understand the concept of casual sex and most are in the DR for short periods of time and don't want any long term commitments.

Good luck. Be careful and keep your purse closed.
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Ecoman you're a nerd who can't read? She lives in the States and so does he.
No self respecting Dominican male would turn down some casual knocking the boots so there won't be no problem.
The reason your relationships with younger Dominican women didn't work out is because you're a nerd as you said yourself. ;)
 
AlterEgo

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
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Hey, give the guy a chance.

He's already in the US, so isn't looking for a visa.

He has a job.

Not all Dominican men are dogs.
 
D

Derfish

Gold
Jan 7, 2016
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Go for it babe. He is probably no more unreliable than any adult out and about in the dating world. How does he know you are being faithful to him?
Der Fish
 
M

Micherie

New member
Jun 29, 2016
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Well I must say that I am surprised by all the snarky comments. Is it really necessary? This was my first post in this forum and will be my last. I posted for fun... what did your mean posts do for you?

My name is Michele and like most people in forums, I use a handle.

Yep... 'middle aged' woman of 47 and am often told I look 30. Don't be jealous.

I am aware of the ridiculousness of asking. It's only been a week so there's no telling on any level. Again, it was done for fun. However, in that week he has never allowed me to pay for anything and has already given me $80 for gas and groceries and I have not even made food for him yet. I tried to refuse the cash but he insisted I take it. So for those of you who say he is only out to get my money, so far... he is not.

He has been here in the US on a permanent resident visa since January and told me that he has not dated anyone since he got here. He has been hounding my foreman friend to talk to me for him for months.

Anyway... I will remain aware and take it slow. Whoever here that said not all DR men are douchebags (or something along that line)..... I happen to agree with that sentiment. You can't pigeon-hole everyone based on stereotypes.

Over and out.
 
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