(Sosua Ocean Village)
I just had one of the most Kafkaesque experiences a person can have in the crazy world of the DR.
Yesterday, I paid for a 1-month membership (See photo of receipt) for Sosua Ocean Village. I love this gym and have been a member (whenever I?m in town) for 4 or 5 years.
Last night I have a emergency come up which necessitates me having to leave the island immediately (I placed a stun gun against my penis in an act of colossal immaturity...this gave me 1st. degree burns on my penis). This afternoon I go to the gym and ask to speak to the manager. They send a very nice Dominican girl out to speak to me. I explain my problem:
?I have a family emergency. I have to leave tomorrow. I cannot use this month?s membership which I have just paid for yesterday (I show her the receipt).
She looks at the receipt and tells me, ?Unfortunately, the rule is that we cannot freeze (postpone) any membership because the rule states, ?Any membership that is not a 6-months to a year, cannot be frozen or postponed for a later date.??
I say, ?Yes, I understand the rule. It?s a good rule, but I have not used this membership yet.?
?I?m sorry, it's the rule,? she answers.
I think about this rule for a second and think maybe she misunderstood.
?I don?t know if you understood correctly?I don?t want any money back. I just want you to hold onto my membership until I get back from my family emergency.?
?I?m sorry, I cannot do that,? she reiterates, ?It?s the rule.?
I ask, ?Do you think this is a fair rule for someone who just paid for a 1-month membership but cannot use it??
She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
I think about this dilemma for a second and then ask, ?Can I speak to your boss, Maria??
It turns out that Maria is busy, and she has two people ahead of me waiting to see her. Ok, I wait around for about 15-minutes and the line still has not budged. I decide I better go exercise for 20-minutes and then try again.
20-minutes later I come back to the front and ask for Maria.
?Oh, she has gone somewhere with a client.?
?Great. Is there someone else I can speak to?? I ask.
They make a phone call, and then tell me to take a seat and wait. A few minutes later, a beautiful?no, stunning blond Russian girl, Elena, comes over to talk to me. She?s beautiful!
Now here comes some more Kafkaesque moments that defy logic?
?Hi, I?m Frank,? I say to her.
?Yes??
?I just paid for this one month membership yesterday (I hand her my receipt), but a family emergency has come up and I need to leave tomorrow. I was wondering?would it be possible to ?freeze? this membership until I get back in December??
?No, I?m sorry, you cannot.?
?Oh, why??
?Because only people with 6-months or more can freeze their memberships. It?s the rule.?
?Yes, I understand the rule. It?s a good rule?except that, I have just paid for this 1-month membership only 12-hours ago, (I hand her the receipt again and let her see the date & time), and unfortunately, I cannot use it, Elena.?
?I?m sorry, it?s the rule,? she reiterates.
?Yes, I understand the rule, but again, I have not used this 1-month membership yet. I would understand if I had used it for 4 or 5 days. But again, I have not used it yet. I have not used it except for 20-minutes while I was waiting around to speak to Maria.?
?I?m sorry it?s the rule,? she reiterates.
I think about this for a second?
?Ok, let me ask you something, Elena?suppose you came into my restaurant and ordered something. And before they started making your meal you had an emergency come up and needed to leave the restaurant immediately. Would it be fair if I told you that you had to pay for your meal despite you not eating anything??
She smiles. I?m not even sure she understood my example. I think about it some more?
I ask her, ?Do you see the problem with this, Elena??
She smiles. I think to myself, ?Damn, she has beautiful teeth!?
?Ok, let me ask you this Elena?can I give this unused 1-month membership to someone or sell it to one of my friends??
?No, I?m sorry, it is in your name.?
Ok, now this is becoming more absurd, and more Kafkaesque.
I can?t help but laugh at this point. How can you not? I think to myself??Imagine if you came into my restaurant and ordered a meal, and before the meal was made, you had an emergency come up and had to leave. Before you leave, however, I say to you, ?I?m sorry, but you have to pay for your meal.?
You then you say to me, ?I?m sorry, I have an emergency, I have to go right now. I cannot eat the meal?.and besides it?s not even made yet!?
I reiterate, ?I?m sorry, but this is the rule?you must pay for the ?uneaten? meal.?
You say, ?I?m sorry, I cannot stay and eat the meal?but can I give the meal to someone else??
I think about it for a moment and say, ?No, I?m sorry, you cannot give your ?unused? meal to anyone else because it is in your name.?
And this is what we have here in a nutshell? I cannot postpone a membership that I have not used, and I cannot even give it away or sell it to anyone.
The absurdity of this situation is so high that it is almost reaches the stratosphere of Kafkaesque situations. It would funny if it wasn?t so absurd.
I just had one of the most Kafkaesque experiences a person can have in the crazy world of the DR.
Yesterday, I paid for a 1-month membership (See photo of receipt) for Sosua Ocean Village. I love this gym and have been a member (whenever I?m in town) for 4 or 5 years.
Last night I have a emergency come up which necessitates me having to leave the island immediately (I placed a stun gun against my penis in an act of colossal immaturity...this gave me 1st. degree burns on my penis). This afternoon I go to the gym and ask to speak to the manager. They send a very nice Dominican girl out to speak to me. I explain my problem:
?I have a family emergency. I have to leave tomorrow. I cannot use this month?s membership which I have just paid for yesterday (I show her the receipt).
She looks at the receipt and tells me, ?Unfortunately, the rule is that we cannot freeze (postpone) any membership because the rule states, ?Any membership that is not a 6-months to a year, cannot be frozen or postponed for a later date.??
I say, ?Yes, I understand the rule. It?s a good rule, but I have not used this membership yet.?
?I?m sorry, it's the rule,? she answers.
I think about this rule for a second and think maybe she misunderstood.
?I don?t know if you understood correctly?I don?t want any money back. I just want you to hold onto my membership until I get back from my family emergency.?
?I?m sorry, I cannot do that,? she reiterates, ?It?s the rule.?
I ask, ?Do you think this is a fair rule for someone who just paid for a 1-month membership but cannot use it??
She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
I think about this dilemma for a second and then ask, ?Can I speak to your boss, Maria??
It turns out that Maria is busy, and she has two people ahead of me waiting to see her. Ok, I wait around for about 15-minutes and the line still has not budged. I decide I better go exercise for 20-minutes and then try again.
20-minutes later I come back to the front and ask for Maria.
?Oh, she has gone somewhere with a client.?
?Great. Is there someone else I can speak to?? I ask.
They make a phone call, and then tell me to take a seat and wait. A few minutes later, a beautiful?no, stunning blond Russian girl, Elena, comes over to talk to me. She?s beautiful!
Now here comes some more Kafkaesque moments that defy logic?
?Hi, I?m Frank,? I say to her.
?Yes??
?I just paid for this one month membership yesterday (I hand her my receipt), but a family emergency has come up and I need to leave tomorrow. I was wondering?would it be possible to ?freeze? this membership until I get back in December??
?No, I?m sorry, you cannot.?
?Oh, why??
?Because only people with 6-months or more can freeze their memberships. It?s the rule.?
?Yes, I understand the rule. It?s a good rule?except that, I have just paid for this 1-month membership only 12-hours ago, (I hand her the receipt again and let her see the date & time), and unfortunately, I cannot use it, Elena.?
?I?m sorry, it?s the rule,? she reiterates.
?Yes, I understand the rule, but again, I have not used this 1-month membership yet. I would understand if I had used it for 4 or 5 days. But again, I have not used it yet. I have not used it except for 20-minutes while I was waiting around to speak to Maria.?
?I?m sorry it?s the rule,? she reiterates.
I think about this for a second?
?Ok, let me ask you something, Elena?suppose you came into my restaurant and ordered something. And before they started making your meal you had an emergency come up and needed to leave the restaurant immediately. Would it be fair if I told you that you had to pay for your meal despite you not eating anything??
She smiles. I?m not even sure she understood my example. I think about it some more?
I ask her, ?Do you see the problem with this, Elena??
She smiles. I think to myself, ?Damn, she has beautiful teeth!?
?Ok, let me ask you this Elena?can I give this unused 1-month membership to someone or sell it to one of my friends??
?No, I?m sorry, it is in your name.?
Ok, now this is becoming more absurd, and more Kafkaesque.
I can?t help but laugh at this point. How can you not? I think to myself??Imagine if you came into my restaurant and ordered a meal, and before the meal was made, you had an emergency come up and had to leave. Before you leave, however, I say to you, ?I?m sorry, but you have to pay for your meal.?
You then you say to me, ?I?m sorry, I have an emergency, I have to go right now. I cannot eat the meal?.and besides it?s not even made yet!?
I reiterate, ?I?m sorry, but this is the rule?you must pay for the ?uneaten? meal.?
You say, ?I?m sorry, I cannot stay and eat the meal?but can I give the meal to someone else??
I think about it for a moment and say, ?No, I?m sorry, you cannot give your ?unused? meal to anyone else because it is in your name.?
And this is what we have here in a nutshell? I cannot postpone a membership that I have not used, and I cannot even give it away or sell it to anyone.
The absurdity of this situation is so high that it is almost reaches the stratosphere of Kafkaesque situations. It would funny if it wasn?t so absurd.
