* I've caught a stray parrot in my garden.
All he says is, "Good morning
you ugly prick."
The parrot isn't yours is it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations.
Just had one from the sperm bank.
Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
* Been to the optometrist today - he told me I was colour blind.
I'm rather worried now that some of my mates could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
* There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market:
Trycoxagain.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*In a pub quiz the
other day I lost by one point.
The question I got wrong was, Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*One of the other questions was to name two things
commonly found in Cells.
It appears that Aboriginals and their cousins is not the correct answer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*There's a new Muslim
clothing shop opened in Bondi, but I've been
banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
*You can justifiably say lots of bad things about paedophiles,
but at least they drive slowly past schools.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a
moustache."
All he says is, "Good morning
you ugly prick."
The parrot isn't yours is it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations.
Just had one from the sperm bank.
Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
* Been to the optometrist today - he told me I was colour blind.
I'm rather worried now that some of my mates could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
* There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market:
Trycoxagain.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*In a pub quiz the
other day I lost by one point.
The question I got wrong was, Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*One of the other questions was to name two things
commonly found in Cells.
It appears that Aboriginals and their cousins is not the correct answer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*There's a new Muslim
clothing shop opened in Bondi, but I've been
banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
*You can justifiably say lots of bad things about paedophiles,
but at least they drive slowly past schools.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a
moustache."
