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Thread: Daughter/Son in-law family - Ladies only forum

  1. #11
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    I don't see it quite as drastic. Its a tv show. You can bet that the producers asked the family to cook the most exotic stuff to shock the girls family. I saw the same in a german tv show where the girl was sent to help with lunch preparation..would not help for real in the DR..Its all scripted

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julia31 View Post
    I don't see it quite as drastic. Its a tv show. You can bet that the producers asked the family to cook the most exotic stuff to shock the girls family. I saw the same in a german tv show where the girl was sent to help with lunch preparation..would not help for real in the DR..Its all scripted
    That is quite possible. The more popular these reality TV shows get the more bizarre they get. Not all totally true to life.

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    That particular dynamic between Pedro and Chantel's family is more than messed up but it makes me crazy to watch Chantel wonder WHY!? She LIED to her family, saying Pedro was moving to the US on a student visa but really it was the 90 day fiance visa that they had applied for together. Then he arrives in the US, they still don't tell her family...until the very last minute. She created that dynamic by not being honest with her family. Do I think Pedro is taking whatever he can get? Trying to be the super hero-made-of-money dude upon return to the DR? Of course. But I think the real animosity came about because of her lies (that he begged her not to tell).

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  6. #14
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    Keep in mind this is a TV reality show where drama is the main event.  It is sad that the producers would put different cultures in such a bad light but thats what makes TV now a days.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jelly View Post
    That particular dynamic between Pedro and Chantel's family is more than messed up but it makes me crazy to watch Chantel wonder WHY!? She LIED to her family, saying Pedro was moving to the US on a student visa but really it was the 90 day fiance visa that they had applied for together. Then he arrives in the US, they still don't tell her family...until the very last minute. She created that dynamic by not being honest with her family. Do I think Pedro is taking whatever he can get? Trying to be the super hero-made-of-money dude upon return to the DR? Of course. But I think the real animosity came about because of her lies (that he begged her not to tell).
    I agree. she did this because she knew her family would not like the real reason.

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by janlindy View Post
    Keep in mind this is a TV reality show where drama is the main event.  It is sad that the producers would put different cultures in such a bad light but thats what makes TV now a days.
    Even if some of the drama is exaggerated for ratings I have seen these same things happening in real life. All of these things really do happen.
    Same drastic cultural differences. Entire families fighting and not talking to the woman.
    Do any of you have real life experiences of women or men you know who have had issues caused by cultural differences or money?

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by dulce View Post
    Even if some of the drama is exaggerated for ratings I have seen these same things happening in real life. All of these things really do happen.
    Same drastic cultural differences. Entire families fighting and not talking to the woman.
    Do any of you have real life experiences of women or men you know who have had issues caused by cultural differences or money?
    I have hundreds lol. The cultural issues are immense. The main ones are the sending money home to the family, which many foreign women will not accept, and the inability on the part of the Dominican man to manage money. In addition, many ladies talk about Dominican culture saying "It is wrong" because they are not used to it, rather than accepting it "as different".


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  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by dulce View Post
    Even if some of the drama is exaggerated for ratings I have seen these same things happening in real life. All of these things really do happen.
    Same drastic cultural differences. Entire families fighting and not talking to the woman.
    Do any of you have real life experiences of women or men you know who have had issues caused by cultural differences or money?
    I was going to say that I could write a book about those issues.....but Matilda already did, hahaha!

    Seriously though, I was and am very lucky. Things could have gone very differently, I went in blindly. I knew nothing about Hillbilly's Rules, they didn't even exist when I met Mr. AE.

    I think being raised by first generation Italian Americans, who were still very European in their ways, helped a lot. Mr. AE's family have old Spaniard/Italian roots, and his mother raised them with an iron hand in the European style. In all honesty, sometimes he is more compassionate towards others than I am. In many ways, our upbringing was identical, our education similar. His mother was an educated woman who pounded its importance into her kids, along with manners and respect. They didn't have a lot of material things, but they had that, and it took most of them far.

    But the major cultural difference between us at the beginning was money. My grandparents and parents would have been mortified if they ever needed one cent from their children. They weren't rich. They lived within their means, and always saved a few dollars, a concept that is foreign to many Dominicans. I had some major mental adjustments that needed to be made about sending money back to DR. The money to mamma went on until the day she died, about 35 years of our marriage. In his family, each child had a responsibility, some kept it up and others slacked off. We sent money for food each month. One brother was responsible for all her medicines. Another for all the house upkeep, plus replacing appliances, etc. Eldest contributed nothing, actually took from her - we had to send the money each month to another brother, who then did all the shopping and delivered the food and paper goods she needed, because if we sent her the cash the eldest seem to have a homing pigeon tell him and he'd be there in an instant with a sob story to borrow money. The daughter and I bought all her clothing and her shoes.

    I adapted. So did Mr. AE. He thinks like an American, prepared for the future like an American. But when it came to his parents and his brothers, he's all Dominican.




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  15. #19
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    And more about 90 day fiance here:

    http://madamenoire.com/837027/90-day...chantel-pedro/

    Matilda


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  17. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matilda View Post
    And more about 90 day fiance here:

    http://madamenoire.com/837027/90-day...chantel-pedro/

    Matilda
    Thanks, I've never seen the show, link explains the situation well.

    To those who watch this show, do the couples ever have normal, successful marriages? Probably not, would be too boring and result in low ratings.




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