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Thread: Daughter/Son in-law family - Ladies only forum

  1. #1
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    Default Daughter/Son in-law family - Ladies only forum

    Wasn't sure what to call the thread. So I was watching 90 day fiancé (yes too much time on my hands..lol). There is a American girl married to a Dominican guy. Anyway her family went to meet his family in the DR. So his mother cooked a meal for her family. She made chicken feet, necks and gizzards only. Now there has been tension between the families (too much to write about) but IMO that would not be a proper meal to cook. Seemed more like a insult. No money for a meal was not a issue. His Dominican family did not eat any of it either saying that they do not like chicken feet and parts. I have had many meals cooked for me in the DR and have never seen a meal like this where that was all that was offered. My MIL who dislikes my BIL wife/family has never cooked a meal like that for them even though the dislike runs deep.

    However a friend of mine experienced something similar when meeting with her Dominican spouses family. His family was not wealthy but definitely had the means to cook a good meal. Boiled platanos and salami was what she was served for midday meal.

    For my friend she learned the hard way that was his mother showing her jealousy that someone else had her son's attention. I have seen flicks of it over the years with my MIL especially with my BIL and SIL but never anything major. Any thoughts on this?

    Let me add: I have never had a meal cooked for me that the hosts would not eat themselves just to clarify.

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    Jealous for attention..? My first thought that it was a ploy to get the 'rich' American gringa to pity them and send/give them more money. If it wasn't that, then it was a blatant insult.

    Like keepcoming, I've never been served anything odd or even vaguely like what's described above. If anything, they go out of their way to make things they know we like.

    The family joke is that ALL the arepita de yuca on the table is for me. Started one holiday meal when a buffet was set up in the back yard at my mother-in-law's house. We were all standing around waiting to begin and one of my BILs reached for an arepita de yuca to snack on, and I, standing right next to him, leaned over and whispered "Those are only for me", with a very straight face. He turned and looked at me with a shocked look, then cracked up laughing when he realized I was kidding.

    I miss those days, the family hasn't been the same since my mother-in-law died 5 years ago.




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    I haven't watched the 90 fiance but seems odd to me. If ever I go anywhere even now after so long here, the flags come out and amazing food. Mind you we cook stewed chicken, including feet and neck, with rice and beans and I must say American/Canadian visitors have a heart attack if they are served a foot.
    Having said that, the jealousy of Dominican women/mothers runs very deep and to be honest it wouldn't surprise me. It is a combination of jealousy, envy and of course now the mothers will not have a DIL who behaves like one should - cleaning their house and kow towing to their every need as mothers of Dominicans are the Queens (usually).

    Matilda


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    I saw it and agree! They were either trying to get more money or insult these people. They were very concerned with all the gift and quite concerned that the new TV was not there. Its really horrible with all the things brought she could not have made something edible for these people.

    I have never been served anything that the hosts would not eat either. It was quite shocking to see this on the show.

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    It was very interesting to see this played out on television. Living here you experience certain things or see certain things. When you then see it play out on television very interesting. Funny thing the guy was supporting his mother and with his help she was able to move into a new apartment better than what he and wife American wife have in the US. Of course there is the monetary difference (cheaper in DR) but I think this is what upset her American family. Plus the suitcase of gifts he brought his family.

    I have seen that happen many times. Dominican married a foreigner but the foreigner does not understand or cant understand the family dynamics in the Dominican culture. My in-laws were pretty well set (had house, etc..) when I met my spouse some 24+years ago. We have done for them over the years here and there but nothing extreme.

    Need to add: My MIL has cooked chicken feet, etc..it was in addition to the chicken she would cook. My FIL loves it and when the kids were young they loved to crunch down on chicken feet...

    I just can't imagine meeting a family for the first time and serving or being served chicken feet and parts. When I visit my in-laws with or without my spouse my MIL cooks all my favorite food. Like you AE everyone knows it is for me...lol.

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    I am now watching 90 day fiancé  too.
    The families are struggling with the cultural differences big time. Not just the chicken feet incident. They were also taken to the Grandmother's house in the campo. They were scared and wouldn't even get out of the truck. The wife's family went back to the hotel. She left with them all mad!
    IMHO the husband is a sanki but uses culture as an excuse to spend LOTS of his wife's money on his family. He claims it is the Dominican son's duty to take care of his Mother.
    The wife's family made the husband sign a post-nup. That is what pi**ed off his Mother and sister. They are afraid the $$$ will stop. 
    I do see many comparisons to some of the women I met who were involved with sankies. 
    I don't see this marriage lasting to long.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fulano2 View Post
    That was an insult in my opinion, what his mother cooked was pico y pala, the cheapest meat that you normally cook for construction workers or so. And platano and salami, jeezz.
    I didn't realize that you are a woman Fulano2.

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    Dulce my thoughts exactly. I too have seen this scenario play out here in the DR. Always told my son, find someone who respects you and loves you. That is what matters. I watched my MIL meddle in my SIL marriage a few years ago, she learned her lesson. As a parent you should be happy your child has moved on to a better future, not when the money train will stop. I promised my son I would not cook chicken feet for his future wife/family...lol. I lucked out with my MIL. She can be trying at times but has a heart of gold.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dulce View Post
    I didn't realize that you are a woman Fulano2.
    he has left the building lol.


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    Oops...I didn't realize it either, editing reply.

    There should be a pop up warning us for posting in the prohibited forum. 

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