A Redneck DUI

waytogo

Moderator - North Coast Forum
Apr 3, 2009
6,407
580
113
Santiago DR
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’

“I doubt it”, said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’
 
May 5, 2007
9,246
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Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’

“I doubt it”, said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’

Ouch!
 

KyleMackey

Bronze
Apr 20, 2015
3,126
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113
LOL, but use different location than Austin. The last redneck left there about 10 years ago.
 

ExDR

Member
Jul 31, 2014
421
0
16
This one has been circulating for a long time. It is always funny. LMAO
 

judypdr

Active member
Jul 23, 2011
558
1
38
73
Costambar
I guess jokes don't have to be DR relevant? I hadn't actually heard/read this one. Pretty funny (in a non-PC) way! Mind if I share it with my family in the Southern US?
 

SantiagoDR

The "REAL" SantiagoDR
Jan 12, 2006
5,808
948
113
I guess jokes don't have to be DR relevant? I hadn't actually heard/read this one. Pretty funny (in a non-PC) way! Mind if I share it with my family in the Southern US?

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