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Thread: A Redneck DUI

  1. #1
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    Default A Redneck DUI

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

    The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

    He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

    At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

    To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said, I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’

    “I doubt it”, said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by waytogo View Post
    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

    The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

    He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

    At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

    To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said, I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’

    “I doubt it”, said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’
    Ouch!

  3. #3
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    LOL, but use different location than Austin. The last redneck left there about 10 years ago.

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    This one has been circulating for a long time. It is always funny. LMAO

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    I guess jokes don't have to be DR relevant? I hadn't actually heard/read this one. Pretty funny (in a non-PC) way! Mind if I share it with my family in the Southern US?

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    Quote Originally Posted by judypdr View Post
    I guess jokes don't have to be DR relevant? I hadn't actually heard/read this one. Pretty funny (in a non-PC) way! Mind if I share it with my family in the Southern US?
    The Clown Bin:

    For the jokes and pointless humor.
    Does not have to be D.R. related.

    Some restrictions apply as far as acceptable contents.
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