Does anyone ever feel that nobody understands you and your connection with the D.R? I know that everytime I return from my stays, I experience major culture shock and it takes me awhile to return to the North American lifestyle. No one seems to understand why I'm so withdrawn or upset at times. They don't seem to understand the impact of everything that I have seen and experienced, while I stayed there. The people I met, the poverty I saw, the different lifestyle. It has a huge impact on me and even now, I have not visited for a long 9 months because of school, I still have times when I'm sad or miss it so much and no one understands or even wants to listen. Does anyone else feel the same way, or is it just me???????
- Thread starter Meredith
- Start date
Does anyone feel the same way??????
I'm from Canada. That's not what I mean. I guess not many people understand my post because I stayed in a batey and it's a totally different lifestyle there. I'm not very good at explaining myself, I just was thinking. The Dominican Republic opened doors to a brand new world for me, to the "sweetness" of the country and to many of the sours. My eyes were open to many overwhelming sensations of shock, confustion and even frustration. I saw many sides to many different situations. I visited a little paradise, filled with new friendships and open homes. I have never been to those places in the U.S, even though I'm sure that I would enjoy visiting them because I am studying social work and maybe I would like to move to one of those places someday and work, who knows. The thing is that no place compares to the Dominican Republic. I have travelled to many places, Honduras, Mexico, U.S.V.I, Grand Cayman, Florida, and I always end up going to the D.R. No place compares to it.
I guess I was just asking if when you return home if anyone else experiences a sense of shock? I know I do and others that have travelled with me do. I was just wondering if anyone on here did?
I guess I was just asking if when you return home if anyone else experiences a sense of shock? I know I do and others that have travelled with me do. I was just wondering if anyone on here did?
Yes I used to!
I must admit that before I moved to the DR 6 years ago I used to go through "Withdrawl" symptoms when I got back to the US!Try a heavy dose of "Reality",that used to help me feel better! Keep studying "Social Work" that sounds like the perfect field for you! Best of luck,see you soon! Criss Colon
I must admit that before I moved to the DR 6 years ago I used to go through "Withdrawl" symptoms when I got back to the US!Try a heavy dose of "Reality",that used to help me feel better! Keep studying "Social Work" that sounds like the perfect field for you! Best of luck,see you soon! Criss Colon
Ah yesssssssssss!
Meredith....we "live" here 4-5 months of every year then return to Canada for the rest. My sons suffered culture shock the first time they came (they were both in their late teens)! Made them realize how good they had it in Canada.....
They both love to visit whenever they can and both have asked us to "will" them our little piece of paradise, to promise not to sell it whatever......
We love to be here when we are however after a while it's good to get home to Canada. Then after a month or two we start counting the days until we "return" to the DR. We have also travelled extensively (still do!) but there ain't no place like the DR in our books.....
Just so you know....
Meredith....we "live" here 4-5 months of every year then return to Canada for the rest. My sons suffered culture shock the first time they came (they were both in their late teens)! Made them realize how good they had it in Canada.....
They both love to visit whenever they can and both have asked us to "will" them our little piece of paradise, to promise not to sell it whatever......
We love to be here when we are however after a while it's good to get home to Canada. Then after a month or two we start counting the days until we "return" to the DR. We have also travelled extensively (still do!) but there ain't no place like the DR in our books.....
Just so you know....
I agree, I love going back to the DR and am experiencing a little withdrawal myself right now. I haven't been back since June. For the first few days after a trip to the DR, I still have to stop myself from speaking Spanish to people, and somehow have to rest from the "lazy" days in the DR. It's harder and harder for me to leave each time, and I always count the days until my next trip. Because my husband and I just had a baby, and I'm weary of taking the baby on the plane, it probably won't be until December until I go back..........sigh............only like 253 more days..........
I always end up feeling out of place when I return from DR. I got it really bad when I got back this past January. I did anything and everything to find a connection to DR in upstate NY. After being back home for only a couple of weeks I booked a flight to return for semana santa (which I won't be able to make 
) and started to consider relocating after graduation. The only thing holding me back now is the military which I am not ready to leave just yet.
It was also around that same time that I found DR1 and it has served as a great support network and a much needed connection to DR.
) and started to consider relocating after graduation. The only thing holding me back now is the military which I am not ready to leave just yet.It was also around that same time that I found DR1 and it has served as a great support network and a much needed connection to DR.
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The first time I stayed in the DR for six months and came home, I was messed up. Like you, Meredith, I would break into Spanish at the store ("gracias...I mean thank you...uhhh, merci....oh, whatever") and would tell jokes to my friends that had punchlines like, "And so he said, 'AY CO?O!!!!'", which of course nobody would get.
Trina, I wouldn't worry so much about the plane, my kids have been great flying at young ages (one at 3 months, the other at 5 weeks). Breast-feeding comes in very handy there, but a bottle would help too (if you're worried about the pressure, that is). And the older they get, the more unruly they are on the flight. I worry more about once we get there; the heat and the water, mainly. But by taking many precautions (doing all your own cooking, being a suncscreen Nazi, etc.) you can eliminate most of the worry. We have to go this year before my little one turns two and - gasp - has to pay airfare...
Trina, I wouldn't worry so much about the plane, my kids have been great flying at young ages (one at 3 months, the other at 5 weeks). Breast-feeding comes in very handy there, but a bottle would help too (if you're worried about the pressure, that is). And the older they get, the more unruly they are on the flight. I worry more about once we get there; the heat and the water, mainly. But by taking many precautions (doing all your own cooking, being a suncscreen Nazi, etc.) you can eliminate most of the worry. We have to go this year before my little one turns two and - gasp - has to pay airfare...
me too!
I too was shocked when I came home from the DR for hte first time, it was my first culture shock experience, even though I had travelled a lot before!
I remember I was shocked to see my car. Ihad been working in an orphanage and had literally forgot about what my life was like at home, and couldnt believe there was a car in the driveway that was mine. And walking into my house was strange too, because I felt like there was just so much STUFF in it. Since then I have pared down a lot trying to keep everything as simple as possible, and trying to get my mom and dad, infamous pack rats to do the same. I earned lots of money for my semesters abroad off yard sales which got rid of a lot of junk!
Since I have been there a few times since I am more prepared for hte culture shock, but it still happens every once in a while. I agree with everyone that the Dr1 board is helpful because you never forget, and can talk with others who know first hand!
I too was shocked when I came home from the DR for hte first time, it was my first culture shock experience, even though I had travelled a lot before!
I remember I was shocked to see my car. Ihad been working in an orphanage and had literally forgot about what my life was like at home, and couldnt believe there was a car in the driveway that was mine. And walking into my house was strange too, because I felt like there was just so much STUFF in it. Since then I have pared down a lot trying to keep everything as simple as possible, and trying to get my mom and dad, infamous pack rats to do the same. I earned lots of money for my semesters abroad off yard sales which got rid of a lot of junk!
Since I have been there a few times since I am more prepared for hte culture shock, but it still happens every once in a while. I agree with everyone that the Dr1 board is helpful because you never forget, and can talk with others who know first hand!
Nobody understands, unless they've done it too. It's common to lose interest in a discussion when you can't relate to living abroad. Finding DR1 was very helpful to me. Any way to fill in the hole left in your heart. I wonder what was there (in the hole) before?
The problem for me is, the same thing happened after we returned from living in Japan.
Generally people spend a lot of time and money trying to re-create the "first time" feeling. Can't happen. It's a kind of mourning period. It can last about as long as you lived there.
In spite of it all, living somewhere else does help you appreciate your home town. And going back to the DR feels so good!
The problem for me is, the same thing happened after we returned from living in Japan.
Generally people spend a lot of time and money trying to re-create the "first time" feeling. Can't happen. It's a kind of mourning period. It can last about as long as you lived there.
In spite of it all, living somewhere else does help you appreciate your home town. And going back to the DR feels so good!
Yo tambien!!!!
I live for my trips to the DR. I travel there at least twice a year. A month stay in the summer is what I look forward to now, but soon I will spend my winters there. I love to visit my adopted family and many new friends. I enjoy taking new clothes and toys to the 4 babies. I get pleasure from taking moma to the grocery store and watching her carefully choose cleaning supplies and food staples. The sun the palm trees are great, but it is the people that make the country so special. I will be returning this summer.
I live for my trips to the DR. I travel there at least twice a year. A month stay in the summer is what I look forward to now, but soon I will spend my winters there. I love to visit my adopted family and many new friends. I enjoy taking new clothes and toys to the 4 babies. I get pleasure from taking moma to the grocery store and watching her carefully choose cleaning supplies and food staples. The sun the palm trees are great, but it is the people that make the country so special. I will be returning this summer.
Meredith -
I go to school in Troy which is 15 minutes outside of Albany. If you're ever in the area and in the mood for Dominican food let me know. I found a really good Dominican place in Albany and it has been a lifesaver.
I go to school in Troy which is 15 minutes outside of Albany. If you're ever in the area and in the mood for Dominican food let me know. I found a really good Dominican place in Albany and it has been a lifesaver.
Particularly for Meridith and Busgsey34 but applys to all
When I first went home after two years here, I was surprised at the fact that none of my buddies even gave a damn about where I had been. They were on fast tracks and had no time for anything not right there .
What you are experiencing is "Reverse Culture Shock" a well know phenom in development. You get the first dose when you arrive in a third world country, learn to adapt and live and then when you go back, you get hit all over again. Like your example of the car in the driveway...Perhaps even more so, since you were here doing missionary work.
Our Bugsey34, learning languages at perhaps the finest of language schools in the US has experienced this many time, I am sure....Her homies cannot relate to her travels....they have no idea where you have been and can care less. Of course your class mates can and do relate, right?
Part of the problem is that both Canada and the US are so large, that the people tend to get isolated and forget about the rest of the world. Just look at how well Americans and Canadians do on Geography tests...Or how highly regarded people with two or more languages are held to be...
Keep it up girls, you will have a lot of fun in this world...that, from the Ol' HB...
When I first went home after two years here, I was surprised at the fact that none of my buddies even gave a damn about where I had been. They were on fast tracks and had no time for anything not right there .
What you are experiencing is "Reverse Culture Shock" a well know phenom in development. You get the first dose when you arrive in a third world country, learn to adapt and live and then when you go back, you get hit all over again. Like your example of the car in the driveway...Perhaps even more so, since you were here doing missionary work.
Our Bugsey34, learning languages at perhaps the finest of language schools in the US has experienced this many time, I am sure....Her homies cannot relate to her travels....they have no idea where you have been and can care less. Of course your class mates can and do relate, right?
Part of the problem is that both Canada and the US are so large, that the people tend to get isolated and forget about the rest of the world. Just look at how well Americans and Canadians do on Geography tests...Or how highly regarded people with two or more languages are held to be...
Keep it up girls, you will have a lot of fun in this world...that, from the Ol' HB...
Jane J
I feel so bad when I see the babies screaming on a plane. I think, "My ears hurt, imagine how their's feel." A friend clued me in that letting a baby feed when going up and down helps a lot...so maybe the Dominican won't be so far off, after all. All my friends and family in the DR have been begging me to bring the baby, it's amazing how much they love babies there.
Bugsey, how right you are about simplifying your life. When you see how little many have and how happy they are, it kinda puts things in perspective. I, too, have gotten rid of so much stuff at garage sales, and I still think I have too much stuff.
I feel so bad when I see the babies screaming on a plane. I think, "My ears hurt, imagine how their's feel." A friend clued me in that letting a baby feed when going up and down helps a lot...so maybe the Dominican won't be so far off, after all. All my friends and family in the DR have been begging me to bring the baby, it's amazing how much they love babies there.
Bugsey, how right you are about simplifying your life. When you see how little many have and how happy they are, it kinda puts things in perspective. I, too, have gotten rid of so much stuff at garage sales, and I still think I have too much stuff.
One more opinion...
I've stated before that I was born in South America, Uruguay to be more exact.
I haven't been back to visit my country in 15 years...Why?
Because I feel down and completly depressed for the first six months back in the US...
The first time I went to DR I didn't feel it because it's so close to Miami, that I know I can go back anytime I want to...but lately it's becoming an obsession for me to just pick up and go live there...and that's what I'm working on right now!!!
My son (19) said it best once while we were discussing him wanting to go live in Italy to study...
He told me that the kids, in his High School at that time, didn't have a clue as to how wide the world is...they thought Florida was it...and had no idea of the many possibilities that await out there...
You see, his father was born in Chile, so he has travelled since he was a baby to South America and Europe...and he has seen what's out there...
This summer my baby will be finally leaving to go experience life in Italy...and I'll stay behind with a broken heart but happy that he'll learn more than he could ever learn here.
And then maybe it will be time for "mom" to fly also!!!
I've stated before that I was born in South America, Uruguay to be more exact.
I haven't been back to visit my country in 15 years...Why?
Because I feel down and completly depressed for the first six months back in the US...
The first time I went to DR I didn't feel it because it's so close to Miami, that I know I can go back anytime I want to...but lately it's becoming an obsession for me to just pick up and go live there...and that's what I'm working on right now!!!
My son (19) said it best once while we were discussing him wanting to go live in Italy to study...
He told me that the kids, in his High School at that time, didn't have a clue as to how wide the world is...they thought Florida was it...and had no idea of the many possibilities that await out there...
You see, his father was born in Chile, so he has travelled since he was a baby to South America and Europe...and he has seen what's out there...
This summer my baby will be finally leaving to go experience life in Italy...and I'll stay behind with a broken heart but happy that he'll learn more than he could ever learn here.
And then maybe it will be time for "mom" to fly also!!!
Hillbilly, you got it! "Reverse Culture Shock", that's it!!!!! It's true that no one understands unless they experience it! That's my next goal, with a few of my good friends to get them down there and to experience everything, but they get scared. Wow, great responses, thanks for the replys and encouragement!!! It's exciting! Musicqueen, I know what you mean about Miami. I work on a cruise ship in my spare time and I am in Miami a lot. That is the closest I can get to the D.R until I return!