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Thread: Beer and Wheels

  1. #1
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    Default Beer and Wheels

    Subject: BEER



    >Now this finally explains it all

    >

    >

    > The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer

    >and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the

    >beginning of agriculture.

    >

    >Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our

    >early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just

    >stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    >

    >The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two

    >were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst

    >for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

    >

    > 1. Liberals.

    > 2 Conservatives.

    >

    >Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night

    >while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as

    >the Conservative movement. Other men who were less skilled at hunting

    >(called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter')

    >learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's

    >and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of

    >the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men evolved into women.

    >Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements

    >include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group

    >hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat

    >and beer that Conservatives provided.

    >

    >Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most

    >powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by

    >the jackass for obvious reasons.

    >

    >Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white

    >wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well

    >done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another

    >interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher

    >testosterone levels than their men. Most college professors, social

    >workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood,

    >group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled

    >in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it

    >wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

    >

    >Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for

    >their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters,

    >rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,

    >police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots,

    >and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own

    >companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

    >

    >*Liberals produce little or nothing*.

    >They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the

    >production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than

    >Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when

    >Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West

    >was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

    >

    >Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a

    >liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A

    >Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of

    >this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and

    >to just ****-off more liberals.

    >

    >And there you have it, let your next action reveal your true self.

    >

    >I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks.

  2. Likes mobrouser, ctrob, KyleMackey, Robert, Blueceo and 4 others liked this post
    Dislikes Blueceo disliked this post
  3. #2
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  4. Likes bienamor, Blueceo, JDJones liked this post
  5. #3
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    I absolutely loved this post and mistakenly hit dislike. This is the truth!!!! Great job bienamor... well said.... I will support you for president in the election of 2020... Long live bienamor!!!!!!!!!

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