Subject: BEER
>Now this finally explains it all
>
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
>and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the
>beginning of agriculture.
>
>Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our
>early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just
>stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
>The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two
>were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst
>for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals.
> 2 Conservatives.
>
>Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
>while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
>the Conservative movement. Other men who were less skilled at hunting
>(called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter')
>learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's
>and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of
>the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men evolved into women.
>Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements
>include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group
>hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat
>and beer that Conservatives provided.
>
>Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
>powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
>the jackass for obvious reasons.
>
>Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
>wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well
>done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another
>interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher
>testosterone levels than their men. Most college professors, social
>workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood,
>group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled
>in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it
>wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
>Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
>their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters,
>rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
>police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots,
>and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own
>companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
>
>*Liberals produce little or nothing*.
>They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the
>production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
>Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
>Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West
>was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
>Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a
>liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A
>Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of
>this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and
>to just ****-off more liberals.
>
>And there you have it, let your next action reveal your true self.
>
>I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks.
>Now this finally explains it all
>
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
>and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the
>beginning of agriculture.
>
>Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our
>early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just
>stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
>The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two
>were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst
>for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals.
> 2 Conservatives.
>
>Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
>while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
>the Conservative movement. Other men who were less skilled at hunting
>(called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter')
>learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's
>and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of
>the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men evolved into women.
>Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements
>include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group
>hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat
>and beer that Conservatives provided.
>
>Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
>powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
>the jackass for obvious reasons.
>
>Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
>wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well
>done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another
>interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher
>testosterone levels than their men. Most college professors, social
>workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood,
>group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled
>in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it
>wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
>Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
>their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters,
>rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
>police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots,
>and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own
>companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
>
>*Liberals produce little or nothing*.
>They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the
>production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
>Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
>Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West
>was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
>
>Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a
>liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post. A
>Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of
>this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and
>to just ****-off more liberals.
>
>And there you have it, let your next action reveal your true self.
>
>I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks.