OR SHOULD BE...
"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but
you
must eat it with naked fat people."
- Ed Bluestone
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,
and
anyone going faster than you is a moron."
- George Carlin
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
she is."
- Ellen DeGeneris
"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next
morning buy it back for seventy-five cents."
- Billiam Coronel
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore
helmets."
- Dave Edison
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at
you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
- Steve Bluestone
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
- Rita Rudner
"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but
you
must eat it with naked fat people."
- Ed Bluestone
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,
and
anyone going faster than you is a moron."
- George Carlin
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
she is."
- Ellen DeGeneris
"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next
morning buy it back for seventy-five cents."
- Billiam Coronel
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore
helmets."
- Dave Edison
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at
you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
- Steve Bluestone
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
- Rita Rudner
