Jim Hinsch's advice on relationships and marriage

Jim Hinsch

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Jan 1, 2002
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A summary of advice from the archives. I suggest anybody interested in more go back and read the entire referenced threads. For those in a hurry, below are my selected excerpts:

From http://dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?
s=&postid=82721#post82721
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My advice and Hillbilly's are very different.

Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for getting serious with a Resort worker or any other Dominican for that matter:

1) He has a bank account equal to your own-in pesos, not dollars or pounds (You have 100 pounds, he has 100 pesos, that's all.). He has a Credit Card and can write a check (cheque).

2) He has a Visa to travel to the US or Canada

3) He is educated to the equivelent of your own level: High School, Tech School whatever.....

If there is a "no" to any one of these, then essentially you are wasting your time....
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Hillbilly is great and I respect his wisdom most of the time but I think he's being a bit harsh on this subject.

The resorts don't give those jobs to just any loser. Those are sought after jobs.

Many of the women are older. Of course they have more money. I had 0 and was in debt at 25. At 21 it was worse.

Education isn't rampant in the DR. So? I've met some real smart people in the DR and elsewhere that didn't have educations like mine and some real idiots that did. Equal intellegence would be a better parameter, but I don't even think that is so important.

Most Dominicans can't get visas to the USA, Canada, or Europe. So they are all disqualified just because of that? Too harsh.

I say everybody hooks up for their own reasons. I say to the gringas, worry about your reason and let them worry about theirs. As one man in a story (The Fountainhead) said to his wife before they married, "I don't want to know the reason you are marrying me and please don't ask me mine". Good advice. It shouldn't matter.

I'm sure Hillbilly's requirements would greatly reduce the odds of a scam though. He/she who gets scammed was warned.

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From http://dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=80921#post80921

There are many qualities one may look for in a partner. For example, love, good looks, good sex, good friend, complementing interests, similar interests, ...

Love is not a requirement for a good marriage, nor are ANY of the above. In most parts of the world, where arranged marriages are common, the parents decide what is important.

I believe each person should decide for themselves what they want in a marriage. There is nothing wrong with a marriage based solely on any one or NONE of the above.

So what if you can't communicate with your partner or only like them for the way they look, if that is all you want from your marriage. So what if they are ugly and you have no intention of having sex with the person, if that isn't one of your requirements.

People often give advice here about what makes a good marriage. It should read, what makes THEIR idea of a good marriage. I for one do not need my partner to be my "intellectual equal and best friend", or my "eye candy". That's what best friends and strip bars are for!

The better question to ask is, "why am I getting married"? Until you have a GOOD answer, don't do it. I've heard very few good answers, and even fewer that bring an asset to the table that could not have been had without marriage.

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From http://dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=82781&highlight=betting#post82781

Originally posted by Hillbilly
... I'm betting he messes up... Like in the Casino, the odds favor the house.
HB
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Like starting a business, asking someone out, getting married, competing for a championship, getting rich quick, climbing Mt. Everest, getting a good deal at a car dealer, playing the lottery, losing weight and getting into shape, a Dominican applying for a visa, ... All statistically likely to fail.

"his teachers considered young Edison a failure ..."
"Edison failed thousands of times before he invented the light bulb"

Hillbilly is the Father of DR1. I remember my parents wouldn't let me go snow skiing or ride a motorcycle or own a bb-gun or drive a car at 16 or stay out late because they didn't want me to get hurt. Good advice to keep me safe.

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From http://dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=82715#post82715

I see nothing wrong with the girls and the sankies. Why not. Nobody is holding a gun to anybody's head. How many young single gringo men would not mind being a sanky if they could. Lots.

Some of the girls are gems I'm sure, and a few sankies too, those charming and entrepreneurial guys that they tend to be.

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So listen do Dad (Hillbilly) and remember his interest is to protect you. Since when did you always take Daddy's advice?
 

Ken

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Jan 1, 2002
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Welcome to the new patron saint of all gringas with stars in their eyes.
 

Bugsey34

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Feb 15, 2002
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Great post, Jim. I have said before, it is best to read everything that everyone with experience in the DR has to say, because there are truly knowledgeable people on this board.

But also no one can fit their life completely into someone else's set of rules. You have to have a good enough sense of self to know when to take advice and when the advice isn't right for you.

So both viewpoints have truth to them!
 

Carolina066

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Jun 1, 2002
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new topic

And here I thought writing about passports was difficult. That was the minor leagues, compared to this stuff. BUT I am the one who opened this particular can of worms, so I have to put up with whatever comes. Personal note to you: did you ever get the new visa pages for your ppt. If not here is the scoop: get a dsp19, fill it out do postal express both ways (return postal express mailer in the pkg) and send a check for $35 made out to "US Dept. of State" to the following address, which I have been procrastinating 10 days before sending to you:
CHARLESTON PASSPORT AGENCY
1269 HOLLAND STREET
CHARLESTON. SC 29405

Write expedite on the envelope and DON'T address it to me.
I send this out on the thread so that anyone else who needs new pages PDQ can know what to do. This is not the place to send for a new or renewal ppt., just new pages or a name change due to divorce or marriage.

I am debating whether to address the area of visas, as the young lady who wrote about her friend getting a visa has some serious confusion about visas, but I am not sure I want to spend time away from work, working and not getting paid for it. Oh, well, what the heck: visitors visas, work visas, fiance visas and immigrant visa are all VERY different and have very different requirements. Anyone who wants to tap my brain on this is welcome to, or at least until I get overwhelmed with questions.

JIM: do your ppt thing before for the "price change" that takes place on 08/19!
 

Jim Hinsch

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Jan 1, 2002
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No, I didn't do it yet. I guess I better get those passport pages added fast. As far as the extra cost goes, good to know but not really a make or break issue for me. Procrastinating 1 day to buy my plane ticket has been known to cost me more! I promise I'll get to it.

Regarding those starry eyed gringas, heartbreak is not the end of the world. However it works out, you will be better for the experience. But for heaven's sake, please don't go and get pregnant until several years of stability. We don't want innocent victims!

Now for you gringas that are on round 3 ...