The following is a genuine hoot. This was an actual letter sent to Ryan
DeVries from the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response but read the entire
letter before you get to the response....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget Pierson,
MI 49339
SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm
County,
Michigan
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring
Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream
locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from
the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31 2002.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RESPONSE
Dear Mr. Price,
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County, Michigan
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.
First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor
at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and a couple of
beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project,
I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natural building materials "debris."
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination, and/or their dam work ethic. As for your request, I do
not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is 1) Are you trying to discriminate against
my Spring Pond Beavers or 2) do you require all beavers throughout this
State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
the Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of
the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns.
My first concern is - aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?
The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for
said representation-so the State will have to provide them with a dam
lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream
"restored" to a dam free-flow condition, please contact the beavers-but
if you are going to arrest them be aware that they obviously did not pay any
attention to your dam letter due to inability to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I do to live and
enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(beavers) and the environment (beaver dams). So, as far as the beavers
and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2002? The Spring Pond
Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental
quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears. Bears are actually
defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should prosecute the
defecating bears and leave the daming beavers alone. If you are going to
investigate the beaver dam, watch your step because the bears are not
careful where they defecate.
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your day
office via another government organization-the dam USPS. Maybe, someday, it
will get there.
Sincerely,
Stephen L. Tvedten
DeVries from the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response but read the entire
letter before you get to the response....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget Pierson,
MI 49339
SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm
County,
Michigan
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring
Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream
locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from
the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31 2002.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RESPONSE
Dear Mr. Price,
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County, Michigan
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.
First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor
at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and a couple of
beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project,
I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natural building materials "debris."
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination, and/or their dam work ethic. As for your request, I do
not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is 1) Are you trying to discriminate against
my Spring Pond Beavers or 2) do you require all beavers throughout this
State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
the Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of
the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns.
My first concern is - aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?
The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for
said representation-so the State will have to provide them with a dam
lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream
"restored" to a dam free-flow condition, please contact the beavers-but
if you are going to arrest them be aware that they obviously did not pay any
attention to your dam letter due to inability to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I do to live and
enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(beavers) and the environment (beaver dams). So, as far as the beavers
and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2002? The Spring Pond
Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental
quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears. Bears are actually
defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should prosecute the
defecating bears and leave the daming beavers alone. If you are going to
investigate the beaver dam, watch your step because the bears are not
careful where they defecate.
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your day
office via another government organization-the dam USPS. Maybe, someday, it
will get there.
Sincerely,
Stephen L. Tvedten
