A couple of silly ones

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
The first one is super sexist, but I hadn';t seen it before. The second one made me laugh the first time I saw it...Maybe you too!


1)

Q. How do you know when it's time to
wash dishes and clean the house?

A. Look inside your pants;
If you have a penis, it's not time!







2)
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me.
My penis is orange."

The doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he
can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy,
"This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot
of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy,
"How are things going at work?"

The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor
tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. The guy
responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours
of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening.
I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours,
I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a
really great guy."

So the doc figures this isn't the reason. He asks the guy, "How's
your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight
months ago."

The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys
stress.

But the guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag,
nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch!"

So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer. He inquires,
"Do you have any hobbies or a social life?"

The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I just sit at home,
watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos!!!"


HB, grinnin'
 

mkohn

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
1,151
4
0
How 'bout this one?

Why does the bride wear white on her wedding day?


So the dishwasher matches the fridge and oven.


ba rum pum