Golf Joke...

AtlantaBob

New member
Jan 2, 2002
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The police rush through an apartment door to find a man standing over his apparently dead wife. He has a 5 iron in his hand and is wailing like a child. He throws down the 5 iron and puts his arms around his head. "I can't believe what I've done, I've killed my wife! I'm so sorry!"
"Calm down" the police say. "Tell us what happened...how many time did you hit her?"
"I don't know" the sobbing man says. "I hit her twice on the head,
a couple of times on her back and I think I hit her across her legs...oh, gawd, I don't know...just put me down for a five."
 

mainer

New member
Mar 22, 2002
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Another Golf Joke

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.

He was driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"
 

AtlantaBob

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Jan 2, 2002
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Yet another one...

A man is about to hit his golf ball when the starter over the loud speaker says, "Will the gentleman hitting from the ladies tees please back up and hit from the men's tee box." The golfer looks around and then goes back to the business of hitting his golf ball. Once again, during his back swing, over the loud speaker comes.."Will the gentleman hitting from the ladies tee box please hit from the men's teeing area". Again, the golfer looks around and commences to hit his ball for the third time, and once again the same voice comes over the loud speaker with the same request. Angrily, the golfer turns around and yells, "WILL THE SON OF A BITCH WITH THE LOUDSPEAKER PLEASE SHUT UP WHILE I HIT MY SECOND SHOT!"




...been there, done that.