StLouisMike started this...

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets and ten roosters, whose jobs were to fertilize the eggs. Zeb kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of time, so Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was too, only his bell had not rung all morning! So Zeb went to investigate.

Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! But, Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair.

Brewster was an overnight sensation!

-> -> ->(This is gonna hurt)



The judges not only awarded him the no bell piece prize but also the pullet surprise.
 

jose?to

The thread finally snapped...
Jun 19, 2002
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I love play-on words; please keep 'em coming!

pullet surprise...lol
 

chicker

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Jan 1, 2002
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You asked for it

In the old days, before everyone became politically correct, there was a school just for morons, people who just weren't going to get any smarter no matter what. One day, a bunch of morons were trying to pitch pennies on the playground but kept forgetting the object of the game. They began to wail. Then some others joined in. They began to actually harmonize. A teacher heard these beautiful harmonies and quickly organized them into a group and taught them some songs.
However they did have trouble keeping time, so the teacher gave them each a pencil to tap on the palms of their hands to keep time. But their palms became sore from all this, so the teacher gave each one a piece of fruit, an apple, to hit with the pencil instead of their palms. With that problem solved, they quickly learned many more songs.
As long as they had their pencils and apples going, they could learn any song in the book. Even Handel's Messiah. Finally, they decided to take their show on the road. Ticket sales were brisk. Crowds were enthusiastic.
Everyone wanted to see
The Moron Tap-an-apple Choir.
 

jose?to

The thread finally snapped...
Jun 19, 2002
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Funny stuff!! Makes me wish I knew anyone from Salt Lake C.