Q: What did the Hispanic fireman name his twin boys?
A: Hose A & Hose B!
Your momma's like a brick, flat on both sides and laid by mexicans
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, "Well honey, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. TRAY UP BI-ATCH!
An infamous killer is on death row.
He is allowed one last meal an hour before he dies.
So the guy asks if he can have his favorite food. He wants Mexican.
The guards give him what he wants.
An hour goes by and it is time for his death.
One guard asks if he had any last words.
The guy replies, "Yeah...pull my finger."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
? Plato: for the greater good. ? Karl Marx: It was historical inevitability. ? Douglass Adams: 42 ? Oliver North: National security was at stake. ? Darwin: It was the next logical step after coming down from the trees ? Earnest Hemmingway: To die. In the rain. ? Saddam Hussein: It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tonnes of nerve gas on it. ? Ronald Regan: I forget. ? Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it f-----g wanted to. That's the f----g reason. ? Mark Twain: The news of it's crossing has been greatly exagerated. ? Mr T: If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too
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This is the best yet! ASK THESE QUESTIONS ON YOUR NEXT VACATION!!!
IRELAND
?Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it??
FRANCE
?Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren?t the French just Germans who can make sauces??
ITALY
?Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O?s! ?
POLAND
?Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs??
GERMANY
?Is this bratwurst kosher??
TURKEY
?Where?s the hash at? It?s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds??
KOREA
?Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him??
CHINA
?This wall isn?t so great.?
ENGLAND
?Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick??
SWEDEN
?Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke??
YEMEN
?Yemen? That?s a stupid name for a country. What?s it mean -- ?Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ??
INDIA
?You don?t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here??
ETHIOPIA
?After a long day of travel, I?m famished. Hey ? those flies sure love your pregnant son!?
CANADA
?You?re like Americans without money.?
SPAIN
?So, this is the country that?s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos??
SOUTH AFRICA
?I liked it better the other way.?
MEXICO
?What's that smell??
SAUDI ARABIA
?Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what??
RUSSIA
?Is it always this cold and economically devastated??
UZBEKISTAN
?Can you spell Uzbekistan??
GREECE
?I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
?Seriously, where is the real country? where is everything??
JAPAN
?What?s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi??
AUSTRALIA
?How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure??
AMERICA
?Was John Wayne gay??
Check out Gerhard Reinke?s
A: Hose A & Hose B!
Your momma's like a brick, flat on both sides and laid by mexicans
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, "Well honey, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. TRAY UP BI-ATCH!
An infamous killer is on death row.
He is allowed one last meal an hour before he dies.
So the guy asks if he can have his favorite food. He wants Mexican.
The guards give him what he wants.
An hour goes by and it is time for his death.
One guard asks if he had any last words.
The guy replies, "Yeah...pull my finger."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
? Plato: for the greater good. ? Karl Marx: It was historical inevitability. ? Douglass Adams: 42 ? Oliver North: National security was at stake. ? Darwin: It was the next logical step after coming down from the trees ? Earnest Hemmingway: To die. In the rain. ? Saddam Hussein: It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tonnes of nerve gas on it. ? Ronald Regan: I forget. ? Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it f-----g wanted to. That's the f----g reason. ? Mark Twain: The news of it's crossing has been greatly exagerated. ? Mr T: If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the best yet! ASK THESE QUESTIONS ON YOUR NEXT VACATION!!!
IRELAND
?Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it??
FRANCE
?Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren?t the French just Germans who can make sauces??
ITALY
?Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O?s! ?
POLAND
?Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs??
GERMANY
?Is this bratwurst kosher??
TURKEY
?Where?s the hash at? It?s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds??
KOREA
?Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him??
CHINA
?This wall isn?t so great.?
ENGLAND
?Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick??
SWEDEN
?Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke??
YEMEN
?Yemen? That?s a stupid name for a country. What?s it mean -- ?Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ??
INDIA
?You don?t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here??
ETHIOPIA
?After a long day of travel, I?m famished. Hey ? those flies sure love your pregnant son!?
CANADA
?You?re like Americans without money.?
SPAIN
?So, this is the country that?s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos??
SOUTH AFRICA
?I liked it better the other way.?
MEXICO
?What's that smell??
SAUDI ARABIA
?Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what??
RUSSIA
?Is it always this cold and economically devastated??
UZBEKISTAN
?Can you spell Uzbekistan??
GREECE
?I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
?Seriously, where is the real country? where is everything??
JAPAN
?What?s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi??
AUSTRALIA
?How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure??
AMERICA
?Was John Wayne gay??
Check out Gerhard Reinke?s