Hey, Jimrx7, here's a story to tell the guys in the mess tent (stolen and modified from Dominican Babe):
A new Spanish Army Captain is assigned to a Dominican unit in a remote post in the Kuwaiti desert.
During his first inspection, he notices a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Dominican Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "As you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And, sir, sometimes the men have...m-m-m.... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir."
The Spanish Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Dominican Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the Dominicans do it?"
"Uh, no sir," the Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."