need help from men in the DR

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ocsavila

New member
Oct 14, 2003
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hometown.aol.com
hello maybe some one can help me to make up my mine. i'm from new york and well, i met a man that i fell in love with, but he wants to go back home to the DR. and he wants me to go with him. my problem is that people tell me that all men from the DR are very controlling and that he is going to change the minute i get off the plane. also
I have three jobs an i'm told that the men from over there don't let there woman work?
 
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AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
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Oh for heaven sakes go find out for yourself. Who knows the guy better than you. Here we go again. We don't know your guy and not all men are the same.


Oh BTW Welcome to DR1
 
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Kuda

*** Sock-puppet ***
Jan 1, 2002
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Ask him for some "return ticket" money, just to put in the bank for "safe-keeping". You'll get your answer.
 
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Tony C

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Jan 1, 2002
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ocsavila said:
hello maybe some one can help me to make up my mine. i'm from new york and well, i met a man that i fell in love with, but he wants to go back home to the DR. and he wants me to go with him. my problem is that people tell me that all men from the DR are very controlling and that he is going to change the minute i get off the plane. also
I have three jobs an i'm told that the men from over there don't let there woman work?
Click to expand...

Have you asked him?
 
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pasha

New member
Sep 4, 2003
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Are you planning....

to go there as his wife or something else? In any case you can always leave if it's not what you expect. No?

Best, P
 
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Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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Does he have any money,or do you pay for everything?

How long have you known him? Does he have a job in the US,(yeah right!)What are you going to do here? Where are you going to live? Do you speak Spanish? How much money are you going to bring? Sounds like if you are asking for advice on a public forum from total strangers,you may already know the answer to your question! Dominican men let their women work.Who would pay all the bills if they didn't?Drinking beer and playing dominos doesn't pay very well you know!

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Lissa

Member
Aug 7, 2003
111
2
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www.lldesigndr.com
How well do you know this guy??

How long have you been living with him?, Do you know his family, how strong is the relationship. Think about all this and the answer will pop up right in front of you.
Besides I never agree with the generalization about human groups (except for the obvious ones) like all the germans are nazi or all new yorkers are crazy, etc The fact that he?s dominican doesn?t mean that he?s an ape..
And before all think how ($$$$) are you gonna life here , is he rich over here..... Think about it
 
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carcoll

New member
Mar 31, 2003
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Those are stereotypical descriptions of dominican men! It is not necessary for all of them..........You should definitely ask him, I mean sit down and talk to him to see what the game plan is.....ALWAYS HAVE A SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNT! Make sure you bring money, it can be expensive, not as much as NYC(I know I am living in NYC). If you do want to go, tell him that you will go try it out, it is hard for anyone from the states to just pick up and go move to a different country. If he really loves you, he would understand that and let you try it......If you don;t want to go, then don't. Dont change your life plan for him, because then you will be miserable. And believe me, it's not that hard to be very miserable in DR.(I lived there when I was younger). On the flip side. there are many great things about it...............But I think you should go and "try it"........good luck!
 
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Criss Colon

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
21,843
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I think that you should "SAY" something!

It has been 7 days since your post. Are you still there??? Hello,Hello??

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ocsavila

New member
Oct 14, 2003
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hometown.aol.com
ocsavila said:
hello maybe some one can help me to make up my mine. i'm from new york and well, i met a man that i fell in love with, but he wants to go back home to the DR. and he wants me to go with him. my problem is that people tell me that all men from the DR are very controlling and that he is going to change the minute i get off the plane. also
I have three jobs an i'm told that the men from over there don't let there woman work?
Click to expand...
 
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sable227

New member
Aug 11, 2003
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Here is a suggestion. Why don't you spend some time with him (i.e. vacation) at his home and see if you can handle living here. That way there are no monumental life changes, you would not be leaving your job in NY and if it does not work out can go back home. Take some vacation time if you can.

One word if advice. If you take the plunge leave your money in a US bank. Keep your ATM card with you at all times. (That actually makes sense anywhere!) But above all else do not put your money in a bank here. And keep your money separate. It makes things soooo much easier!
 
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goatfarmnga

Bronze
Jun 24, 2003
548
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I know her situation...

It is a hard decision for you to uproot your family/life for the Dominican man..You do not KNOW him well enough I fear to change your family...THINK TWICE!!!
Your life is MUCH more complicated than you can post here without getting slammed....I hope you make the best decision for your kids, grandkids etc..It is a tough time in your life now..I wish you the BEST! :) PAM
 
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Forbeca

Bronze
Mar 5, 2003
729
2
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ocsavila said:
hello maybe some one can help me to make up my mine. i'm from new york and well, i met a man that i fell in love with, but he wants to go back home to the DR. and he wants me to go with him. my problem is that people tell me that all men from the DR are very controlling and that he is going to change the minute i get off the plane. also
I have three jobs an i'm told that the men from over there don't let there woman work?
Click to expand...

Dominicans are controlling. As far as him letting you work, that may not be as problematic as you finding a decent job.

I'd lay it all on the line before accepting his proposal just so there won't be any misunderstandings once you get to the DR.

Other than that, if you love him, go for it.
 
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AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
Love is just an emotion and can change once you find yourself in a pile of troubles. I suggest you should look after your financial / future interests first and then worry about love. There aren't any good jobs for anyone and the salary is totally worthless (not worth the effort). DR is not an easy place to live, to live well you need lots of money. Money is very hard to make so you find yourself in catch 22 all over again.
Use your brain and not emotions to make this decision. Most uneducated dominican men are not worth all the sacrifice. The reason I say most uneducated dominican men is because thats all I see in the arms of most foreign women. They (foreign women) seem to be so attracted to a total loser. I hope your man is different.
 
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rpagan0203

New member
Jan 12, 2004
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You have to think of another thing, some men from other countries not just DR like to go out hunting, so keep in mind that you might just be a trophy that he want's to bring home so everybody can say "he is marry to a "Gringa".

I am saying this because I know a few guys that are like that, I know because I used to be one of those guys.

Be carefull what you are getting yourself into, it's easy to get there, but if you want to get out, will it be just as easy?.

Some people whe they fall in love become 'DBS' (Dumb, blind and stupid), I'm not saying that you are either, just be carefull.

Ray
 
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leo_DR

New member
Dec 8, 2003
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I say I go for it. You can always go back to the states if you feel betrayed/excessively controlled/ETC. He might be a sincere man. At the same time, if you feel unsure about leaving, then talk to him about it, at least let him know your concerns BEFORE you go with him. Be sure to ask him why the sudden urge to move back to D.R.

Good Luck.
 
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