Parking in Boca Chica

crenshore

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Jan 13, 2004
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I plan to arrive in Boca Chica on a Saturday night. Will it be easy to find parking, any recommendations?

Also, anyone have info about the following:

1. A place where I can get a good massage in Boca Chica and prices?
2. Any reasonably priced, safe hotels that accept outside guests?


Thanks.
 

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
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No and Yes

crenshore said:
I plan to arrive in Boca Chica on a Saturday night. Will it be easy to find parking, any recommendations?

Also, anyone have info about the following:

1. A place where I can get a good massage in Boca Chica and prices?
2. Any reasonably priced, safe hotels that accept outside guests?
Thanks.

I am interpeting your request to mean you want to allow "prostitutes" not "guests", like your Auntie May or Uncle Joe. And "massage" to mean pay for sex and not a massage though if they throw in a massage too, hey! I died and went to hog heaven.

Now that the entendres are out of the way the massage joints in BC are better named "Clip joints for Gringo's named Crenshore".

So stay away from the Pink House, the White House, La Sala and Cafe Carribean Spa (who are so poor they only paid for a neon sign that said Cafe Spa) Oh yeah:and this bunker like joint across from the Hotel Hamilton which I think is called Fuente de Amor ( ho ho) as it seems to have a hard time getting going and appears a little too out in the open for a lot of tourists .

A "passable" massage and truly, the massage is not that bad, is at Pattaya - RD$400 for the house and whatever you pay the girl gauged mainly on your Spanish, charm and lack of Gringoness, so expect to pay a lot is my bet .:) (Try a "tip" in the RD$600-800 range on top of the $RD400 to the madam. Oops, I meant the "manager". This amount, e.g. RD$1200 or so may sound high, just TRY the other named places and hang onto your dentures when the menu comes out.

Hotels other than Hamaca, Don Juan and Dominican Bay are pretty open to girlies with ID, real ID not fake ID, not their sisters ID, not photocopied ID ( I saw one girl once that had a colour copy of a man's ID and one with a colour copy of a 50 year old woman's ID, who was a 100 shades whiter than she was to boot).

The usual cast of hotel suspects: Costalunga (unless it is the same time I am there as I am grumpy meeting strangers, so scram, Sam) , El Candil, Hotel Milan (aka Milanell, and Hotel Arena in the last few months) , Coral Villas, Los Pinos, Europa (near the beach but no pool):(, Garant, Calypso, all are fine for "guests". Roughly in that order.

NB:If these guests really ARE your relatives tell the front desk and they won't ask them for ID if they are old looking women, or men. However if you are a white American speaking only English, and your sister "Elly" is black, speaks only Spanish and is talking non stop on a cell phone, and looks 17, get the ID out.

For a complete listing of hotels to look at go to www.bocachicabeach.net

You owe me a beer but I have to figure out an anonymous drop for the delivery.
 

crenshore

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Jan 13, 2004
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Thanks RickToronto, a couple more questions

Thank you for your very thorough post. I do owe you at least one beer. I actually am looking for a proper massage, with perhaps a little extra attention on the groin, not interested in sex. So, do you have any suggestions or is everywhere a con job?
 

Conchman

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Jul 3, 2002
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"I actually am looking for a proper massage, with perhaps a little extra attention on the groin, not interested in sex."

in pure Clintonian fashion!
 

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
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How do you define sex anyway?

crenshore said:
Thank you for your very thorough post. I do owe you at least one beer. I actually am looking for a proper massage, with perhaps a little extra attention on the groin, not interested in sex. So, do you have any suggestions or is everywhere a con job?

A massage with "attention onthe groin" is having sex. Ask a minister, divorce laywer, or your wife, and they'll put you on a par with Bill Clinton. The only one would be Pattaya for that, RD$400 for the madam , whoops again, manager, and a smaller tip once the girl actually gets over the fact you don't seem to want the more typical request, e.g. "oral" or "full service". And I believe, not knowing this for sure (as I am pure as snow) the expression is "hand job" not "con job" unless you are seeking same in a prison environment.

Technically the "manual release" is in the RD$400 but I think the pleasure you get would be akin to her rope starting a lawnmower if it was clear to the masajtista (sp?) you were giving her basically zero for her efforts. Or she'll give you a massage and then a copy of Hustler and leave you alone for a while.

As for the "Guest" issue what exacly did you have in mind if not (OH NO!) "sex" in your room? Pinochle, perhaps? Anyway if you find girls to do "not sex" with you in the privacy of your room, stick to the listed hotels in that order because they , like us, will have a pretty good clue what you really are getting at in the room.

As for the original parking issue there will be enough at your hotel to meet your needs. And you can walk everywhere so driving the 100 yards to the main drag to seek girls not to have sex with is a waste of time and parking does become more problematic.

As for remuneration, just leave RD$1,000 which is the cost of one good beer that is, in cash at the front desk of the Costalunga with Miguel for Granpollo. I'll be sure to get at least RD$500 of it.
 
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crenshore

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Jan 13, 2004
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Thanks Rick

Your post was great. Educational and entertaining. I guess I may get laughed at for my (somewhat) honourable intentions. So you think it would be impossible to find a lady who would be happy with just a night of massage and a little heavy petting?

The RD$1000 for a beer seems a little cheap. I'll be sure to leave RD$2,000 for the Big Chicken.
 

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
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Sold!

crenshore said:
Your post was great. Educational and entertaining. I guess I may get laughed at for my (somewhat) honourable intentions. So you think it would be impossible to find a lady who would be happy with just a night of massage and a little heavy petting?

The RD$1000 for a beer seems a little cheap. I'll be sure to leave RD$2,000 for the Big Chicken.

Two G's it is - when are you going? And no you could in theory ask a girl to tap dance while you broke balloons under your heinie and for the price she'll do that. So I hear. I don't know since the balloon supply ran out.

And for an entire night, I don't know, but if that's your thing ask. You do know Spanish right?

Maybe not: Grande (or Gran) BEFORE a noun is an adjective for GREAT , after it is for BIG. (So it is not Big Chicken and in fact think of the English word for a male chicken and put it all together.....:)...) Hey maybe, nudge nudge, I should say gran pollo grande. :)
 

crenshore

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Another Q for ricktoronto

"The usual cast of hotel suspects: Costalunga (unless it is the same time I am there as I am grumpy meeting strangers, so scram, Sam) , El Candil, Hotel Milan (aka Milanell, and Hotel Arena in the last few months) , Coral Villas, Los Pinos, Europa (near the beach but no pool), Garant, Calypso, all are fine for "guests". Roughly in that order."


You say in that order. What do you mean by that (ie are you listing the best hotels first, or the most flexible when it comes to guest policy first)? Thanks.
 

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
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Best to Worst

crenshore said:
"The usual cast of hotel suspects: Costalunga (unless it is the same time I am there as I am grumpy meeting strangers, so scram, Sam) , El Candil, Hotel Milan (aka Milanell, and Hotel Arena in the last few months) , Coral Villas, Los Pinos, Europa (near the beach but no pool), Garant, Calypso, all are fine for "guests". Roughly in that order."


You say in that order. What do you mean by that (ie are you listing the best hotels first, or the most flexible when it comes to guest policy first)? Thanks.

Quality and price combined, as they all allow prostitutes with ID, if you aren't obnoxious with the activity ( e.g. El Candil is more annoyed if you come back with 3 girls and a burro). Most private for the burros would be Coral Villas but the rooms are small and he may not be able to turn around.

I'd say try to reserve in the order listed. Ask for away from the street if they offer that as the motos can be noisy. Garant has only a few A/C rooms, top dollar but big.

Say when you are coming, Joe.
 

crenshore

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Jan 13, 2004
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For Rick de Toronto

Thanks for the update. Most helpful. I am planning to come early June, though not completely confirmed yet. When will you be there next? I wonder if I would enjoy my stay/adventures much more if I had on-the-spot guidance from a seasoned mentor???

By the way, how do put the quote in a quote box? I haven't quite mastered the intricacies of this message board.
 

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
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crenshore said:
Thanks for the update. Most helpful. I am planning to come early June, though not completely confirmed yet. When will you be there next? I wonder if I would enjoy my stay/adventures much more if I had on-the-spot guidance from a seasoned mentor???

By the way, how do put the quote in a quote box? I haven't quite mastered the intricacies of this message board.

You press the quote reply button inside the message box and not the reply button on the bottom of the page - speaking of quotes and the idea of a "mentor" recall this:

El Quoto: The usual cast of hotel suspects: Costalunga (unless it is the same time I am there as I am grumpy meeting strangers, so scram, Sam)

I wasn't joking, I really don't do trainees. Sorry. I am there next in about 3 days in two different locations at once.