jadedamerican's three questions

I sent you a private message.

I read your story. I sent you a private email. Check it out. Hopefully you will respond to me via the same method.

Take Care,

Sincerely,

Lesley D.

jadedamerican said:

I posted to reply on the successful relationship thread initially. I feel that it would better suite this thread. When I read your the replies on that threadit gave me some hope. I am currently in a ld relationship with a Dominican. I want to come for a visit but my family and friends (and thier American Superiority Complex) gives me pause. Everytime I make up my mind to just say F*** it and go, they convince me otherwise. They feel that it is 3rd world country and he will chop me into little pieces or there is too much political unrest or whatever thier stupid reasoning is for that day. They feel that he is lying to me about who he is ect etc. I have been on the outskirts of this site reading the posts and trying to come to a decision. I really do love him, but my family is very important to me. I normally am far more decisive then this but it is a different country and I do not know anyone but him. Truthfully I'm worried too but I always think why would he kill me what sense would that make? I'm just frustrated and undecided. Have there been any instance where an American is murdered by a Dominican whiel visiting. I laugh just writing this, I tell them thier way of thinking is so Arrogant and small-minded. My mother always refers to Dominicans as those people...
I just don't know what to do. By the way he is not a sankie in any way shape or form. He is very well educated and has aprofessional <A TITLE="Click for more information about job" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||job|AA1VDw">job</A>, so your sarcastic comments, you can leave unwritten. I would appreciate that. I am not lokking for someone to make my decision for me, I'm just trying to see if anyone took thier trip alone? How was that? Did you fell comfortable by yourself? Thanks

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jadedamerican said:

I posted to reply on the successful relationship thread initially. I feel that it would better suite this thread. When I read your the replies on that threadit gave me some hope. I am currently in a ld relationship with a Dominican. I want to come for a visit but my family and friends (and thier American Superiority Complex) gives me pause. Everytime I make up my mind to just say F*** it and go, they convince me otherwise. They feel that it is 3rd world country and he will chop me into little pieces or there is too much political unrest or whatever thier stupid reasoning is for that day. They feel that he is lying to me about who he is ect etc. I have been on the outskirts of this site reading the posts and trying to come to a decision. I really do love him, but my family is very important to me. I normally am far more decisive then this but it is a different country and I do not know anyone but him. Truthfully I'm worried too but I always think why would he kill me what sense would that make? I'm just frustrated and undecided. Have there been any instance where an American is murdered by a Dominican whiel visiting. I laugh just writing this, I tell them thier way of thinking is so Arrogant and small-minded. My mother always refers to Dominicans as those people...
I just don't know what to do. By the way he is not a sankie in any way shape or form. He is very well educated and has aprofessional job, so your sarcastic comments, you can leave unwritten. I would appreciate that. I am not lokking for someone to make my decision for me, I'm just trying to see if anyone took thier trip alone? How was that? Did you fell comfortable by yourself? Thanks

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Dear Jadedamerican

In reading DR1 post do you notice that the best advice is in the most part given by ?GOLD? members, such as Miguel, AZB, Hillbilly, Escott? Is there some reason you will not listen to them? How many posts do you read that tell you that ?I found my perfect mate at a resort or he was a policeman?? By the way, what exactly is a professional man in the DR? The only way I think any man could support me would be if he was a politician and remember we just had an election to clean up all of the corruption.

Darlin? I have been in love hundreds of times. I know what you are going through and believe me you will get over it.

I wish I could offer you a better deal but as you can see I have made a commitment to Renee and I would never want to be thought of as some one who would have more than one novia at a time. (also I am not sure you are under 25)

Go back through the "GOLD" post again, print them out, hang them on you refrigerator, show them to your friends and family, then get a life in Smallville or where ever you live.

And yes I have taken that trip alone, and yes it is working well for me, but I am an exception to the rule and it has been a very expensive lesson both in money and time.

Charlie

jadedamerican said:

Again with the sarcasm. Do you live in Dr? If so can you honestly say there is not one professional person there. My next question is r u Dominican?
Cuz I don't know about you but if I were of that ethnicity or nationality or whatever , the fact that someone said that there were no professional people in my country (which implies that we were a bunch of uneducated fools) I would be offended. I did however expect the reaction, which is why I immediately regretted my decision to post. Yes, I have noticed that the same gold members always give the same if not the sarcastic advice. Just because that is what they have experienced that does not make every stories outcome the same. Maybe if you (haters as we call them in America) would step outside of your box of judgement for once and appreciate the fact that everyone is not alike, you would be able to give more unbiased advice. As I did state he is a professional and educated, are you? All you people do on this site is degrade and undermine, what I hope is not your own culture. Because that would be even sadder, at least prejudice can be excused as ignorance. You help to foster the idea that many Americans have which is that you are a lower class of people. Grow Up. You don't know him and you don't me, please quit thinking you do. I am an adult and I just wanted to bounce something off of some mature adults, kids stop playing with your parents computers. No need to respond any longer, your advice is null as it is too ignorantly given to accept. By the way, Smallville or wherever I come from, is a fictional show, children. Real mature!!! Also very original how many jokes like that have been on this site? Too many to count.

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Okay you win. I am a 59 year old American business man (living in America) with a lot of experience in the love department. Over the past 5 years I have spent many months in the DR and I know in my heart of hearts that what these GOLD members are telling you is the truth.

As I said, I have walked that road and my current relationship with a much younger Dominican woman is currently working out quite well. As I said, mine is an exception and it has taken its toll, but to this point it has all been worth it. You have no idea what you are in for.

Good luck but remember you have been warned!

Charlie

You know what!!

jadedamerican said:

Again with the sarcasm. Do you live in Dr? If so can you honestly say there is not one professional person there. My next question is r u Dominican?
Cuz I don't know about you but if I were of that ethnicity or nationality or whatever , the fact that someone said that there were no professional people in my country (which implies that we were a bunch of uneducated fools) I would be offended. I did however expect the reaction, which is why I immediately regretted my decision to post. Yes, I have noticed that the same gold members always give the same if not the sarcastic advice. Just because that is what they have experienced that does not make every stories outcome the same. Maybe if you (haters as we call them in America) would step outside of your box of judgement for once and appreciate the fact that everyone is not alike, you would be able to give more unbiased advice. As I did state he is a professional and educated, are you? All you people do on this site is degrade and undermine, what I hope is not your own culture. Because that would be even sadder, at least prejudice can be excused as ignorance. You help to foster the idea that many Americans have which is that you are a lower class of people. Grow Up. You don't know him and you don't me, please quit thinking you do. I am an adult and I just wanted to bounce something off of some mature adults, kids stop playing with your parents computers. No need to respond any longer, your advice is null as it is too ignorantly given to accept. By the way, Smallville or wherever I come from, is a fictional show, children. Real mature!!! Also very original how many jokes like that have been on this site? Too many to count.

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With all seriousness, just go and be with him!. I am sick of these people that they post thinking that people will just tell them "yes, you are doing the right thing". Well, all is not black and white. I really do not know you and I can care less to know you so if you go, I would not lose any sleep if your situation do not work. The only thing that I know is that, even with sarcasm, we are just trying to tell you that you need to be careful. If you did not wanted people to tell you about their experiences with this type of things, why post?. The things that we tell you are free and you take it if you want. Some DO live in the DR. I really do not care if you are old or not, I am 41 and I have been around the block a few times and I have been "in lust/love" so many times that I lost count. Same as some that would reply to your post. Just a side note: this thread was not about you until you decided to tell your story. If you regret typing it, go back and "edit" it and erase everything you wrote. By the way, and please do not forget this since this is the only thing that I will tell you for your own benefit: Sankies come in all shapes and forms. They can be uneducated and they can be doctors, lawyers or just your average Joes. Go and live happily ever after. Just don't post here thinking that we will lie to you.

chuckuindy said:

Only because you are in the age group of women that I date, 19 to 25, let me give you some good advice. Forget this young stud in the DR.

I can tell by your post that you are mature beyond your years and are a very level headed and clear thinking young lady. Why, anyone that would want to leave their mommy and daddy to run off and work in the Dominican Republic is grown up enough for me. I know that I could love you just as much as this guy in Grand Paradise Bavero.

Here is what I am willing to offer. Since you want to live the Dominican, 19 year old lifestyle we could get us a little one or two room apartment. Oh by the way we will share the 1 stool bathroom with 14 other neighbors in the complex and there will be no hot water. You can cook our meals on a 2 burner propane stove, (sorry no oven) that is if you remember to shop for food everyday because we have no refrigerator. Don?t worry I will get you a cell so you can call your friends back in Canada to have someone to talk to because I bet you speak little or no Spanish. Of course you will have to buy your own calling cards. I suggest Orange.

Renee, we will have so much fun. We will ride the motochoncos every where.....

Oh, I almost forgot you want to work. I was thinking of buying a little bar in the PC area and you could work waiting tables with the other girls. Of course I would never expect you to sleep with the Euro and American tourists like I do all of the others Dominican girls. Just be friendly and let them touch your all over your body. Don?t forget to have me introduce you to my caddie friend in Casa de Camop who sells his sister to golfers, he is a real hoot.

If you are interested please e-mail me through DR1

Charlie

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Charlie,

You killed me with that caddie referrence.

Good advice,

JD

questions to jadedamerican

Jadedamerican your guy killing you should be the least of your worries, tho i find it curious that after saying that he's "well educated" and has a "professional job" you are too are worried about your personal safety. Why be worried about a well educated professional killing you? Can i ask what is this professional job and why are so sure that he's so well educated?

Well to each its own. Forrest Gump liked to run, american women like to come here to to "fall in love".

I split the thread. Hopefully you'll get answers to your questions.

The one about travelling alone I can answer. I used to go with my family but my kids are grown now so I've been to the DR three times on my own. Last one being last Nov./Dec. I've never felt unsafe even when travelling around on the bus. I mostly hang out in the North Coast. I do speak even Spanish to make myself understood.

BWT I've read of more Americans getting killed on a date than I've heard of an American being killed in the DR. Not that it's never happened but it's rare and more behind the story than we know.

Dear jadedamerican: Let's try this out->

1) You have met a man but you have not met his family, or his friends. (You did say that he was the only person you know here, right?) don't you find this odd? I'd think the first think I'd do is take my girl home to meet my mother and family. You would be smothered in attention and warmth. You would get a quick introduction to Dominican family life and just what it entails. This is one reason to visit him.

2) You say that he is well educated and a professional person. All well and good. However, here, it is sort of important that you know where he studied, what he studied, as where he is working and what he is doing. This is another reason to visit him.

3) Your family talks about "those people"? I'd be pi$$ed if I were you. If you are an adult, fairly educated yourself, you should make the trip, perhaps with no forewarning, just in case. Do not worry about your personel safety. If you have the least doubts on that score, this is not going to work out and you should forget about it. Dominican men are seldom monogamous, but they are good at hiding the fact. Male violence does occure here, and over 100 women have been killed so far this year by their ex-husbands, their lovers or their partners.
However, this seems to occur in the lowest of economic and social classes.

4) You can register at the US Consulate in Santo Domingo upon your arrival and tell them when you expect to leave the country, if you want to keep your family happy.

5) You have to get this out of your system, so I would suggest a lightening fast trip with the following agenda:
-arrival unannounced, like on a Friday..
-quick phone call when you are in the city and near his office
-a demand to meet his family that evening, with no ifs ands or buts. "Oh they live in the "campo" ?" You say: "Well let's go see them tomorrow, I'm dying to meet your mother and father."
-keep him in sight for 24 hours and watch his phone calls.

By then you will get the message. Females have antennae that spot the quirks...you'll know.

Hope it works out for you...

HB

PS. There is an article in today's NYTimes that tells of the sire of Smarty Jones. It seems that breeders look back six or eight generations in a sire's or mare's pedigree before mating to be sure of a good outcome, like Smarty Jones. It costs about $10,000 for a good stud, and can go up to $500,000.
Now, if we figure say, five or six year's disposable income, couldn't we come up with a "stud fee" figure for sexy male Dominicans?
I mean we have these women coming down here for a week or so and they fall in love and do not know zilch about the guy they are entering a relationship with. (Pardon the dangling). We take more care mating a horse than a person??
And in Dominican Society, the first words out of a Mother's mouth are : "?De qui?n t? eres?" ( Who are you from?) And believe me they check.

Just a suggestion...

Hillbilly said:

3) Your family talks about "those people"? I'd be pi$$ed if I were you. If you are an adult, fairly educated yourself, you should make the trip, perhaps with no forewarning, just in case. Do not worry about your personel safety. If you have the least doubts on that score, this is not going to work out and you should forget about it. Dominican men are seldom monogamous, but they are good at hiding the fact.

5) You have to get this out of your system, so I would suggest a lightening fast trip with the following agenda:
-arrival unannounced, like on a Friday..
-quick phone call when you are in the city and near his office
-a demand to meet his family that evening, with no ifs ands or buts. "Oh they live in the "campo" ?" You say: "Well let's go see them tomorrow, I'm dying to meet your mother and father."
-keep him in sight for 24 hours and watch his phone calls.

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I think Hillbilly's advice is excellent. However, if you really want to do a "surprise" visit on a Friday, Saturday, etc., calling him when you get there would defeat the purpose. A real surprise is when you show up unannounced and go to where you know the person will be (this could require patience if he is not where you thought he might be) so the person does not have time to change plans or dispose of some in their company. One word of warning with "surprise" visits - they are not good for the stomach and be prepared to deal with the fact that you may find out something you don't want to know. In the case that all is not peachy in paradise... have a back up plan of where you can stay for the duration of you trip.

Go for it

jadedamerican,

My opnion is "just go for it".............I've learned most of my lessons in life the hard way too.

Joe

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I apologize if my questions were too personal or if they disturbed you. But your answer sure clears the doubt i had.

I am sorry to disappoint you but your "issue" (nor the other 1000+ simmilar ones) doesn't make me lose any sleep, this is a forum and you started a topic ... isn't it logical that people ask questions about it? ... sorry to burst your importance bubble.

The whole story

jadedamerican said:

Actually Project9 my issue is alot different, more different thatn you know but how would you know that if I never went into detail about it. My bad!!! But...that's not what I wanted to say anyway, the losing sleep thing was not towards you Project9, that was a response to a comment that Miguel made earlier. Here is his comment "With all seriousness, just go and be with him!. I am sick of these people that they post thinking that people will just tell them "yes, you are doing the right thing". Well, all is not black and white. I really do not know you and I can care less to know you so if you go, I would not lose any sleep if your situation do not work." I did not mean to offend you Project9 because you seemed to be sincere (especially since I was not talking to you anyway). My apologies

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Why don?t you tell us the whole story then maybe we can really help you. I will stop playing games if you will.

Believe me I know what it is like to be in love and thousands of miles apart.

Check my posts, sure I can be a smart a** but I have a big heart.
Charlie

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See jadedamerican? you didn't give out any "confidential information" and yet gave enough info to make clear that he guy is not (by far) the average sanky. I suggest (if it matters) that you come and live a few months with the guy and if things work out the best thing would be getting him out of here so he can take more advantage of his studies rather than both of you waste your potential for a dominican wage, after a few years you can come back and live the happy beach life these pale gringos at dr1 live in this country.

Good luck and hope to see the story in the successful relationships thread in a few years.

jadedamerican

otherwise you would not be telling us your story. Sankies will be sankies in any kind of language or world they are everywhere in the world.