This story needs to be told with a broad Irish Accent.
Mary goes to the doctor and she says " Doctor I tink I'm pregnant". The doctor says " That's OK Mary, you'll have to bring me a specimen". Well she didn't know what a specimen was, so, not wanting to embarass herself in front of the doctor, she thought-- : I'll be waiting 'til I get home and ask me husband Patrick 'case he knows a lot of tings.
So she goes home and waits for Patrick to come home and she says " Patrick, I went to the doctor to-day and I told him I tort I was pregnant"
Patrick said: "and did you now and what did he say"
She said : " He said I had to bring him a specimen, do you know what it is?"
" No Mary, I haven't the faintest idea but I'll tell you what I'll be doing, I'll be asking Shamus next door because he knows all about everyting"
She says " Oh for God's sake don't be talking to Shamus, every time your seeing him your foiting"
He said " don't worry there will be no foiting"
Any way he goes to see Shamus and he comes back 2 hours later and his face is all bleeding and his clothes are all torn and his eyes are black.
And she says " Patrick, what did I tell yer, every time your seeing Shamus your fighting."
He said : " Mary, no honest to God , he started it himself this time. I went in there and I said " Shamus, what's a specimen" He said " Piss in a bottle" I said " Sh** in your hat and there we were fighting again"
Mary goes to the doctor and she says " Doctor I tink I'm pregnant". The doctor says " That's OK Mary, you'll have to bring me a specimen". Well she didn't know what a specimen was, so, not wanting to embarass herself in front of the doctor, she thought-- : I'll be waiting 'til I get home and ask me husband Patrick 'case he knows a lot of tings.
So she goes home and waits for Patrick to come home and she says " Patrick, I went to the doctor to-day and I told him I tort I was pregnant"
Patrick said: "and did you now and what did he say"
She said : " He said I had to bring him a specimen, do you know what it is?"
" No Mary, I haven't the faintest idea but I'll tell you what I'll be doing, I'll be asking Shamus next door because he knows all about everyting"
She says " Oh for God's sake don't be talking to Shamus, every time your seeing him your foiting"
He said " don't worry there will be no foiting"
Any way he goes to see Shamus and he comes back 2 hours later and his face is all bleeding and his clothes are all torn and his eyes are black.
And she says " Patrick, what did I tell yer, every time your seeing Shamus your fighting."
He said : " Mary, no honest to God , he started it himself this time. I went in there and I said " Shamus, what's a specimen" He said " Piss in a bottle" I said " Sh** in your hat and there we were fighting again"