sankie practice?

bochinche

Bronze
Jun 19, 2003
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i'm fed up with arguing with the missus, and after reading so much about sankies on dr1, i have decided i would like to give it a go.

my big advantages are:
i'm sure i look good in a swimming costume and my wife has always said i have 'one' like a rhino.
i don't mind changing my name to elvis, winston, chico, billy, clarence....etc.
i would only have to 'tone down' my english, to make tourists think it wasn't my first language.
i am prepared to lower my standards and 'go' with any girl (even 35 year old lardy, beach-dwelling, topless german girls) on the proviso they shower me with gifts and money.
i could easily promise to marry any of them, then keep things going long enough on the phone and/or internet just long enough until the money and gifts dried out.
if, on the remote chance, one of the girls turned out to be a rich swedish supermodel, i could quite easily pick up bags and leave with her.

my big disadvantages are:
i'm not prepared to be one of those bi-sexual sankies, no matter how much money or gifts are showered upon me. i don't want anything going up the tradesman's entrance - do you think this alone would rule me out of my desired profession?
i can't make those stupid grins in the photographs.

my two questions are:
where is the best place to go to submit my cv? - specific tourist areas/hotels please.
would any rich young girls in the santo domingo area like to practice helping me become a sankie before i take the plunge? the money and gifts wouldn't have to be too much, i don't want the wife getting suspicious. it would help if you were not so ugly, i don't want to dive in the deep end without knowing how to swim, if you know what i mean.

serious replies only please.
 

mountainfrog

On Vacation!
Dec 8, 2003
3,146
0
0
www.domrep-info.com
Sankie Seminar

In order to qualify for my sankie seminar (entrance level)
you should be able to:

- blow your nose through your fingers not wetting more than three people;
- fart and burp simultaneously;
- suppress disgust with a grin while chatting up a 45-year-old
XXL;
- dance a bachata to the noise of a pneumatic hammer;
- pronounce the words "love" and "money" in English, German and Italian.

Good looks and education are considered a hindrance for
enrolment.

M'frog
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
9,478
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www.ginniebedggood.com
bochinche,
There used to be signs in England, in my youth, which said "Unsolicited callers please apply to tradesman's entrance round the back" - (attached to posh houses, in case anyone is confused)...........I'll see if I can get you one! I won't tell you where to hang it, nor will I sing you the verse of "The Wild West Show" about the rhinosoreass. Your new career choice sounds an interesting way of developing your assets.
And mountainfrog, I was told it was a medical impossibility to burp & fart simultaneously............and then I met my ex-husband. RIP, old soul,.....maybe his peculiar talent resulted in his early demise?
 

quejeyoke

New member
Jun 20, 2004
167
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sankie gaiden

lock yourself somewhere and watch Scarface incognito and incomunicado until you can lip sink tony montana to a T mahn...once ju got de accent nailed down, buy some chacabanas and a straw hat and hit de streets to se heloo to your little friens!... :cool:
 

chuckuindy

Bronze
Mar 8, 2004
1,372
0
0
78
Pre Ben

Lambada said:
bochinche,
There used to be signs in England, in my youth,

They must have been visable in the daylight hours only. If I remamber corectly the days of your youth were pre Ben Franklin, and his kite.
Charlie
 

Rosemary

*** Sin Bin ***
Apr 13, 2004
85
0
0
And they still question why animals eat their young !!!!
If I had given birth to someone of your mentality, I would have demanded to exchange you for the after-birth ! :disappoin :alien:
 

Kaizen68

New member
Aug 25, 2004
165
0
0
Rosemary said:
And they still question why animals eat their young !!!!
If I had given birth to someone of your mentality, I would have demanded to exchange you for the after-birth ! :disappoin :alien:
OUCH..!
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
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www.ginniebedggood.com
chuckuindy said:
They must have been visable in the daylight hours only. If I remamber corectly the days of your youth were pre Ben Franklin, and his kite.
Charlie
We didn't have Ben Franklin in England, Charlie. Was his kite used as a lighting device in USA then?
 

bochinche

Bronze
Jun 19, 2003
747
10
0
....phase one completed.

thanks for all those pms. most of the suggestions were very constructive.....especially one about buying the necessary togs. i bought all my clothes in la sirena, el canal and sema (unfortunately the cactus factory doesn't have much suitable any more). my purchases were limited to colourful 'hawaiian' style shirts, white shorts and white plimsolls or trainers. no socks or underpants......once home i stripped off most of the buttons from the said shirts.

a very special thanks to linda......who i took up on the offer of a bit of 'sankie practice' as long as, she said, it was in the confines of the capital and no sex was involved.
she hasn't spoken to me since that saturday.....to be honest i think she found it embarrassing when i turned up at the restaurant in my newly acquired gear.....but once she got a load of the hairy chest and legs, i'm sure she was having second thoughts about the 'no sex' clause.
from the moment we got together, everybody was looking at us....i've never had so much attention............the waiters treated us like crap and i sensed they wanted us, or at least me to go..........apparently when i went to the 'gents', they asked linda if i was bothering her. i'm not sure why. however, the other guests were smiling at us with some sort of affection. linda's face was so red....with shyness....she had to keep her head down.
the meal finished a bit faster than i expected and the bill suddenly appeared.......(all a bit rushed, not what you expect from don pepe's).....it was almost rd$2,000 just for the two of us. after a five minute silence, linda said it was a nice experience, but she would need a little help...............at that moment i realised she really wasn't in the spirit of the whole sankie thing, and i showed her that my pockets were empty (i did have a couple of thou' in my left plimsoll....but a sankie is a sankie). anyway we gave them all the cash linda had and left her watch saying she would return with the rest later................i hope linda will reply to this post and at least let me know if she ever went back for it.
there wasn't much conversation after that....she said she would meet me for a few more beers a bit later. i changed my shirt and shorts, but she didn't turn up....linda, what happened?

on the whole phase one was a success....now for phase two.
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
Ah bochinche

Certainly one of the funnier posts. Congratulations...

HB, chuckling still from the first post....:D:D:D:D
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
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News from Linda

As luck would have it, Linda came to Puerto Plata last week. Said she needed to have a word with her Auntie Lambada about a personal problem. Have to say she was rather late in arriving......but then she doesn't have a watch any more.
It would appear that after her 'practice' experience with bochinche the word got out. Since then she has been beseiged by hairy legged men wearing inordinately bright clothing & big smiles. This has happened in a number of places but the most tiresome was the Metro bus station because the fellow concerned also had a ticket for Puerto Plata & Linda had to endure his attentions for 31/2 hours. It appears the word from Don Pepe's got out too, because when the bus stopped at Santiago & Linda went to get herself a drink, this fellow was in the line immediately behind her & told the assistant to put his food & drink on Linda's bill. She said he couldn't have eaten for a week........and she is now minus a bracelet which is in lieu of payment at the Metro bus terminal snack bar.
The personal problem Linda wished to discuss was whether she should move countries before she is forced to walk around in less than full attire, having deposited her clothing at various watering holes in order to provide sustenance for the sankie population of Boca Chica.
Linda & I came to the conclusion that in order to protect her reputation, & her rapidly dwindling jewellery box, it is time for her to bow out of the practice situation. However, she understands bochinche's need to continue practising, according to the adage 'practice makes perfect'. Although she felt that based on her experiences at Don Pepe's, he already had it down pretty pat. To this end we perused a number of photographs of Linda's friends, in the search for a substitute & we came to the conclusion that Letitia fits the bill nicely. I should advise bochinche that Letitia is, shall we say, amply proportioned, with a 'homely' face & has not been able to pull a boyfriend in yonks, so may be willing to forgive the 'no sex' clause. In fact it is almost guaranteed.
The added advantage which Letitia possesses is that she deals with her personal insecurity by wearing copious amounts of trinkets, such that her jewellery box is as ample as her frame, so that should keep the invoices dealt with for a while to come.
As Linda has now gone to a secret location to recover, bochinche may PM me for Letitia's phone number if he wishes.