For all you Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

solituna

New member
Jan 26, 2004
213
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A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeet.
 

Larry

Gold
Mar 22, 2002
3,513
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"A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart."

I thought this one was hilarious. I mean, who would ever think up such a strange thing??

Larry
 

DeQueTuPriva

New member
Sep 1, 2004
35
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The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

They were all very enjoyable, but the one I quoted above is, to me, the most memorable.