Taoism: **** happens.
Buddhism: If **** happens, it's not really ****.
Islam: If **** happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism: **** happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
Hinduism: This **** happened before.
Catholicism: **** happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
TV Evangelism: Send more ****.
Atheism: No ****.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, **** happens.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good **** happening.
Christian Science: **** happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe **** happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism: What is ****, anyway?
Stoicism: This **** doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****.
Buddhism: If **** happens, it's not really ****.
Islam: If **** happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism: **** happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
Hinduism: This **** happened before.
Catholicism: **** happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
TV Evangelism: Send more ****.
Atheism: No ****.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, **** happens.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good **** happening.
Christian Science: **** happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe **** happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism: What is ****, anyway?
Stoicism: This **** doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****.