Need some sage advice

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mrnitz44

New member
Sep 15, 2004
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Hola everyone,

I have a long story to tell, followed by some questions.

I met a Domincan girl, 22 yrs. old while I was on assignment in St. Maarten back in January. She was working at a bordello there. Basically, I spent about two weeks with her while I was there. She is from San Juan in DR, has two kids, lives with her sister in S.D. most of the time, while her kids live with her mom in SJ. I considered her to be a honest person. She said that the father of kids left her and she had no choice but to do this work as a means to support her kids. She left St. Maarten in March and has been back in the DR since. I visited her there in April and spent Easter with her and her family. I didn't get the feeling that there was a "chulo" or any other man in her life besides me. I have been sending her $ regularly to take care of herself and the kids. The project I had that allowed me to travel regularly to the caribbean is finished and I have no idea when i can get back down to that part of the world. My situation is this - I am not an old "gringo", I am only 34 and relatively good looking, make a lot of $, etc. etc. however, I have the nagging suspicion that I am being had. A lot of that comes from what I read on the board here and in other places too. My questions are these:

1. What are the chances that she does not have a husband, boyfriend, chulo who is spending my money?
2. If I end it with her, she will undoubtedly have to return to "work". Should I feel bad about that?
3. If she does have a chulo etc. and I end the relationship, will she suffer abuse because of it?

I guess I have always been a soft-hearted guy and I thought for a while that there really was something between us. Now that I have done some reading, I can't help but think that I might be getting taken. Too many of the scenario's described here in other threads hit too close to home.

Thank for listening.
 
J

JDub

New member
Apr 7, 2003
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mrnitz44 said:
.....however, I have the nagging suspicion that I am being had.
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maaaaaan that line right there is all you need to answer your questions. As tempting as it all seems, don't be victim #1756467864876 to get played.
 
M

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
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Conazooooo!!!

mrnitz44 said:
Hola everyone,

I have a long story to tell, followed by some questions.

I met a Domincan girl, 22 yrs. old while I was on assignment in St. Maarten back in January. She was working at a bordello there. Basically, I spent about two weeks with her while I was there. She is from San Juan in DR, has two kids, lives with her sister in S.D. most of the time, while her kids live with her mom in SJ. I considered her to be a honest person. She said that the father of kids left her and she had no choice but to do this work as a means to support her kids. She left St. Maarten in March and has been back in the DR since. I visited her there in April and spent Easter with her and her family. I didn't get the feeling that there was a "chulo" or any other man in her life besides me. I have been sending her $ regularly to take care of herself and the kids. The project I had that allowed me to travel regularly to the caribbean is finished and I have no idea when i can get back down to that part of the world. My situation is this - I am not an old "gringo", I am only 34 and relatively good looking, make a lot of $, etc. etc. however, I have the nagging suspicion that I am being had. A lot of that comes from what I read on the board here and in other places too. My questions are these:

1. What are the chances that she does not have a husband, boyfriend, chulo who is spending my money?
2. If I end it with her, she will undoubtedly have to return to "work". Should I feel bad about that?
3. If she does have a chulo etc. and I end the relationship, will she suffer abuse because of it?

I guess I have always been a soft-hearted guy and I thought for a while that there really was something between us. Now that I have done some reading, I can't help but think that I might be getting taken. Too many of the scenario's described here in other threads hit too close to home.

Thank for listening.
Click to expand...
Man, are you for real?. Are you pulling our legs?. Come on dude, honest, ARE YOU FOR REAL?. I am not even going to answer you because I think that the joke is on us, right?
 
R

ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
4,837
0
0
Cut bait, Mr. Fisherman

mrnitz44 said:
Hola everyone,


1. What are the chances that she does not have a husband, boyfriend, chulo who is spending my money?
2. If I end it with her, she will undoubtedly have to return to "work". Should I feel bad about that?
3. If she does have a chulo etc. and I end the relationship, will she suffer abuse because of it?.
Click to expand...

Straight dope since you asked:

1. Zero percent
2. No and if you don't realize this she returned to work while you were in line at the airport. I have enjoyed the company of a girl like yours WHILE her boyfriend was using the internet cafe in the lobby of my hotel, so your bond is pretty soft, so weak as to be nonexistent.
3. No

Don't strike up romances with prostitutes anywhere in the world, this game is as old as the oldest profession is - sending money is foolish. I have "helped" translate /edit for some street urchins I know in BC the same e-mail sent to 12 guys with the same story, and you know they will they get a few replies, a few Western Union payments, free oney due to misplaced pity. You want to help the poor there, give to a real chairty that helps them.
 
3

3D-MENTAL

*** Sin Bin ***
Sep 13, 2004
21
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come on now!!!?!!! don't be judgmental. she could be telling the truth... NOT really... you my friend got PLAYED. don't feel bad... she could change... that's another lie (sorry I can't help it)
 
T

Texas Bill

Silver
Feb 11, 2003
2,174
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www.texasbill.com
I may not be a sage, but---

I've been known to give advise at the drop of a hat...

If she had the money to get to St. Maartens, she belonged to the 'working girl' class to begin with. She merely went to where there was more money to be made than in her native land. Capice???

Then too, the song and dance about the kids might be authenic, but you can bet your bottom dollar that she is a 'dedicated' working girl who goes right back to being just that during your absence.

The game is as old as the profession she practices.

Cut the association immediately, if not sooner.

just my 2-cents worth...

Texas Bill
 
O

Oche

Member
Jan 6, 2004
336
4
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48
Don't fall in love. If you really consider that she is worth seeing again use her instead, pretend that you are madly in love with her, throw some money around when you are with her, tell her how much you respect her as a woman, treat her as if she was a classy lady, and please don't fall for any excuses to send her money overseas. Why all this?? why should you mix up at sentimental level with some whore that will probably end up severely hurting your feelings?, if you are interested in dominicanas why not instead search for better prospects in the DR, where there are thousands of young good looking girls who would give anything to find someone with your description?
 
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MommC

On Vacation!
Mar 2, 2002
4,056
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dr1.com
As the sage of a tourist area (namely Juan Dolio) let me tell you straight....

As stated.....if she had the money to get to St. Maarten she's not "poor".
Kids usually do live with grandmothers when Mom is a "working girl" (can't have kids in the house when you bring back a John!).
If you're sending her money so are at least 10 others guys not to mention the 10 or more she's "nailed" as being the "father" of the kids who also send her money every month.
My guess is she makes more in a week than you do in a month and spends it as fast as she receives it (easy come-easy go and there's more where that came from).
If you really want to donate to charity may I suggest the Red Cross.....they do good work and help people who really need it. If you want to donate specifically to the Dominican Republic check out some of the other threads on this board to learn where/how to send funds that will be put to good use!
 
J

JANET/NJ

New member
Jun 21, 2004
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Ok!

If you're so good looking and make so much $$ as you say, then i would think you smart enough to, go to a stripbar or Bordello and not fall for a "working girl".
If you have all these attributes then why can't you find a nice girl else where? :confused:
 
M

mrnitz44

New member
Sep 15, 2004
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JANET/NJ said:
If you're so good looking and make so much $$ as you say, then i would think you smart enough to, go to a stripbar or Bordello and not fall for a "working girl".
If you have all these attributes then why can't you find a nice girl else where? :confused:
Click to expand...

I have found "nice" girls in over 30 countries around the world. I have been told more than a few stories in my day and thought my BS radar was functioning sufficiently. There have been instances where she told me things and showed emotions that were too real to be part of a scam. Frankly, now that I think about it, there's no way she has the sophistication required to be so elaborately deceptive without some outside assistance. Having said that, I believe she does have ulterior motives in the relationship and therefore I will end it.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have learned a great deal from each of your posts.
 
L

locofoto

New member
Aug 18, 2004
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mrnitz44 said:
[...]There have been instances where she told me things and showed emotions that were too real to be part of a scam.[...]
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That's how they do it. That's the special Girlfriend Experience (GFE) how some people call it. It's their big trick ...
 
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mrnitz44

New member
Sep 15, 2004
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locofoto said:
That's how they do it. That's the special Girlfriend Experience (GFE) how some people call it. It's their big trick ...
Click to expand...

I am beginning to feel so sad for this girl now. I had really hoped that she was genuinely interested in making a better life for herself.

The only hope I have left is that I have not done more harm than good. I am afraid that I may have inadvertently encouraged her to continue this type of behaviour. She will probably move on to the next trick now, looking for another me.

I may have to re-think visiting working girls in general. I don't like the feeling of being part of a vicious cycle of poverty and despair.

Quite a Pandora's box.
 
N

Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
614
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mrnitz44 said:
I have found "nice" girls in over 30 countries around the world. I have been told more than a few stories in my day and thought my BS radar was functioning sufficiently. There have been instances where she told me things and showed emotions that were too real to be part of a scam. Frankly, now that I think about it, there's no way she has the sophistication required to be so elaborately deceptive without some outside assistance. Having said that, I believe she does have ulterior motives in the relationship and therefore I will end it.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have learned a great deal from each of your posts.
Click to expand...

Not all people are the same. Really. So, are you really going to let the opinions of a few people on a message board change your mind about your girl? If you really want to know what she is doing when you aren't there then you need to hire a private investigator. Normally I would say that you have your answer by virtue of your doubts however given the circumstances of how you met, I think this is a reasonable next step. On the other hand, if you are willing to give her up based on what you read here, then maybe you aren't as emotionally invested as you think.
 
M

MrMike

Silver
Mar 2, 2003
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Dude, unlike some of these others I believe there may be a such thing as a hooker with a heart of gold. Your chances of having found one however are pretty slim...

But it sounds like you don't WANT her to be part of your life anymore. If that's the case, then what is there to even wonder about? Don't you think you might be giving this girl special treatment becasue of her profession? That just doesn't seem right.

Never doubt that these girls can take care of themselves. If she could land a guy like you, she can land another one (if indeed she hasn't already). She'll be fine.
 
L

locofoto

New member
Aug 18, 2004
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mrnitz44 said:
I am beginning to feel so sad for this girl now. I had really hoped that she was genuinely interested in making a better life for herself.
Click to expand...

Sounds strange, but most probably she had a hidden agenda to marry you.

You may talk to mongers - like they call themselfs - in Costa Rica. They go to there just because of the never ending endeavour to find the perfect GFE. And lately these guys found it out - finally. These girls really want them to make them another baby (#2 or #3) in order to marry the rich foreigner - all foreigners to them are rich - with the weak heart or at least to get alimony from him.

mrnitz44 said:
The only hope I have left is that I have not done more harm than good. I am afraid that I may have inadvertently encouraged her to continue this type of behaviour. She will probably move on to the next trick now, looking for another me.
Click to expand...
Don't worry. She has done it numerous times and will do it anytime again. That's the way she is used to live and nobody has forced her to live this way.
 
M

mrnitz44

New member
Sep 15, 2004
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locofoto said:
Sounds strange, but most probably she had a hidden agenda to marry you.

You may talk to mongers - like they call themselfs - in Costa Rica. They go to there just because of the never ending endeavour to find the perfect GFE. And lately these guys found it out - finally. These girls really want them to make them another baby (#2 or #3) in order to marry the rich foreigner - all foreigners to them are rich - with the weak heart or at least to get alimony from him.


Don't worry. She has done it numerous times and will do it anytime again. That's the way she is used to live and nobody has forced her to live this way.
Click to expand...

I can't believe how on the mark you are here. She has been constantly pestering me to get her pregnant.

I do care for this girl, however, the overwhelming similiarites between what she has done/said and what others who were kind enough to respond here have said is typical behaviour of a professional working girl is difficult to dispute. The circumstancial evidence against her actions and behaviours is compelling.

I won't be making a final decision on what to do based on what I read here in your responses. I was hoping to gain some better insight into the mindset and culture of the women who engage in this profession, and your replies have been very helpful in that respect.

If I didn't think she had a heart of gold, I never would have taken the relationship off the island. Now, however, I have enough knowledge to discuss my concerns with her and hear her side of the story. Anyone care to speculate as to what she might say to ease my apprehensions?
 
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