I thought he was a good man until....

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kathandrea

New member
Jul 15, 2004
5
0
0
Okay, here it goes....on vacation, met a resort worker, blah blah blah. Anyway, I went back to spend a week with him in the DR. And yes, I sent him money and was scammed with all of that (hind sight is 20/20). We had a great week, we visited many places in the DR. met his brother, and some of his friends. Returned to the US, talked to him on the phone (he speaks little English, I learned some Spanish), and kept sending money when he needed it. I just returned from visiting him for the second time. Met more of his friends, his other brother, and this time his daughter (who was a real sweety). I'm not sure what I was thinking about as far as what kind of relationship I wanted from him, but I was taking things slow and would have considered moving to the DR. He had a great personality, always happy, alot of good friends (who by the way told me he was a good man) and we had a good time together. The last couple of days with him I felt uneasy, like he was giving me the cold shoulder. I even ended up in tears the last night with him because of his strange behavior. Didn't try to figure it out then, I just thought maybe it wasn't working for him...the language barrier, the long distance relationship and I am 6 years older (note: attractive and fit woman). I didn't learn the real reason for his behavior until I returned home and checked my bank account. I saw several transactions that were not made by myself. I allowed him to hold the credit cards because I thought I could trust him. There were several ATM withdraws totalling almost $600! This outgoing, sweet, honest, good-hearted family man turned out to be nothing but a thief! And by the way, I have no problem with giving money or gifts to someone I loved. It's just too bad the really good people are the ones who always get hurt. All I ask to David Mateo Cruz is WHY?? I gave and gave (including my heart)... you had to take more? If it wasn't working for you so be it but did you have to shame yourself and your family and turn into a thief? I wanted to post this story just to try to prevent another broken heart (and bank account). I love the Dominican Republic and believe most Dominicans are good. I just hope my next experience with a Dominican man is a good one.
 

lilcanadiangal

New member
Jan 23, 2004
102
0
0
Kathandrea said:
Okay, here it goes....on vacation, met a resort worker, blah blah blah. Anyway, I went back to spend a week with him in the DR. And yes, I sent him money and was scammed with all of that (hind sight is 20/20). We had a great week, we visited many places in the DR. met his brother, and some of his friends. Returned to the US, talked to him on the phone (he speaks little English, I learned some Spanish), and kept sending money when he needed it. I just returned from visiting him for the second time. Met more of his friends, his other brother, and this time his daughter (who was a real sweety). I'm not sure what I was thinking about as far as what kind of relationship I wanted from him, but I was taking things slow and would have considered moving to the DR. He had a great personality, always happy, alot of good friends (who by the way told me he was a good man) and we had a good time together. The last couple of days with him I felt uneasy, like he was giving me the cold shoulder. I even ended up in tears the last night with him because of his strange behavior. Didn't try to figure it out then, I just thought maybe it wasn't working for him...the language barrier, the long distance relationship and I am 6 years older (note: attractive and fit woman). I didn't learn the real reason for his behavior until I returned home and checked my bank account. I saw several transactions that were not made by myself. I allowed him to hold the credit cards because I thought I could trust him. There were several ATM withdraws totalling almost $600! This outgoing, sweet, honest, good-hearted family man turned out to be nothing but a thief! And by the way, I have no problem with giving money or gifts to someone I loved. It's just too bad the really good people are the ones who always get hurt. All I ask to David Mateo Cruz is WHY?? I gave and gave (including my heart)... you had to take more? If it wasn't working for you so be it but did you have to shame yourself and your family and turn into a thief? I wanted to post this story just to try to prevent another broken heart (and bank account). I love the Dominican Republic and believe most Dominicans are good. I just hope my next experience with a Dominican man is a good one.

Aww, I'm sorry to hear that you got hurt like that! It's too bad you didn't read the sankie stories before you left, you might have had a little bit of warning about how those hotel boys really are. Either way, what's done is done and hopefully you haven't left such an incredible country with a bad perception of all Dominican men or people!
 

jrzyguy

Bronze
May 5, 2004
1,832
22
0
i TOO give you a big hug....but i also want to give you a fiendly slap!!!

HOW HOW HOW could you let ANYONE (unless you are married....or in a very long term relationship) hold your credit card!!!?????

When i first started seing this guy 2 years ago....one night on the phone he asked me for my exact street address.....and THEN asked for my SS#!! Told him flat out that there was no need for him to know that information. he then told me he needed to send in some papers to the INS.......and then i was MAJOR hell NO!!!! I work for a major investment bank and he has a criminal record......told him flat out...i can be a friend...but you DONT mess with met that way.

I AM really sorry to hear about your story tho. I am not sure where you are from...but here in NYC we have our own breed of sankies.....

For me...i met a few sankies on my first trip.....but i have met some really great people on my following visits.

i hope this experience hasnt tarnished you on the DR.....you just got a wake-up call to be vigilant....no matter WHERE you are.

but again....i feel for ya.

jj
 

Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
4,821
766
113
Kathandrea,

Well, I am not going to say too much but I must say you are brave for posting your story here and it is unfortunate that you had to learn the hard way about this person. I truly believe that you did not deserve what happened to you. Remember scammers are everywhere and they are opportunists. This person saw an opportunity and made sure he capitalized on it. I would NOT have given access to my money.That was an open ticket to theft.

Keep an open mind though not all Dominican men are after your wallet etc. it's only Dominican men like him who are a disgrace and there so many other issues here that account for that kind of behavior. Forewarned is forearmed. Better luck next time.


-Lesley D

Kathandrea said:
Okay, here it goes....on vacation, met a resort worker, blah blah blah. Anyway, I went back to spend a week with him in the DR. And yes, I sent him money and was scammed with all of that (hind sight is 20/20). We had a great week, we visited many places in the DR. met his brother, and some of his friends. Returned to the US, talked to him on the phone (he speaks little English, I learned some Spanish), and kept sending money when he needed it. I just returned from visiting him for the second time. Met more of his friends, his other brother, and this time his daughter (who was a real sweety). I'm not sure what I was thinking about as far as what kind of relationship I wanted from him, but I was taking things slow and would have considered moving to the DR. He had a great personality, always happy, alot of good friends (who by the way told me he was a good man) and we had a good time together. The last couple of days with him I felt uneasy, like he was giving me the cold shoulder. I even ended up in tears the last night with him because of his strange behavior. Didn't try to figure it out then, I just thought maybe it wasn't working for him...the language barrier, the long distance relationship and I am 6 years older (note: attractive and fit woman). I didn't learn the real reason for his behavior until I returned home and checked my bank account. I saw several transactions that were not made by myself. I allowed him to hold the credit cards because I thought I could trust him. There were several ATM withdraws totalling almost $600! This outgoing, sweet, honest, good-hearted family man turned out to be nothing but a thief! And by the way, I have no problem with giving money or gifts to someone I loved. It's just too bad the really good people are the ones who always get hurt. All I ask to David Mateo Cruz is WHY?? I gave and gave (including my heart)... you had to take more? If it wasn't working for you so be it but did you have to shame yourself and your family and turn into a thief? I wanted to post this story just to try to prevent another broken heart (and bank account). I love the Dominican Republic and believe most Dominicans are good. I just hope my next experience with a Dominican man is a good one.
 

Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
614
4
0
quick question?

I am very sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.
On a side note:
You didn't happen to use your ATM card at a Banco Popular during your vacation, did you? There have been a lot of problems in the past with people having money stolen from their accounts after using their machines, especially in Sosua.
 

DominicanScotty

On Vacation!
Jun 12, 2004
1,300
2
0
64
Geeez, how often we hear these stories; thanks for sharing it with us. It's not just sankie guys doing this to foreign women, it is sankie chicas doing it to foreign guys too! Last month I had a friend come down to visit me in the Dominican Republic. The chicas could smell that he was right off the plane. One chica that he liked latched onto him. I kept pestering him to not get too comfy with her because she was the obvious (if you know what I mean) and to just settle up what he negotiated and let her go. When he told me that he didn't I said to myself "Oh boy, here we go". Well, one day turned into two, then three and so on. The "meter was running". I had to tell her (in Spanish of course) "Ya, basta!" She did not like me at all and I didn't give a ####. It ended up costing my friend a small fortune to finally get rid of this sankie/puta/thief. On top of it all she was screaming and yelling making a big scene (they love doing that). That all stopped when I showed her a military ID card courtesy of a Major General who is a personal friend of mine. I asked her if she wanted to go visit the prison in Puerto Plata? She smiled because she knew I knew and simply walked away. It's a game and when you let them know that you know it they give up and leave. My friend was in shock because he was new here, saw a beautiful young lady who came off as sweet and friendly and well... he fell for it. Many of these sankies are more then willing to tell you all about their problems. I have a saying "I don't make my problems your problems. Don't make your's mine".

However, please be forewarned that not everyone on this message board will be as sympathetic!
 

Talldrink

El Mujeron
Jan 7, 2004
2,209
42
0
Same as the others, "Sorry for your loss, blah, blah, blah..."

Now, I hope you are not that giving in your own country. Think about this, would you give money to a man that you met down the shore (or any other place for that matter) after you spent a few days there? Then after that, trust him enough to go stay with him in HIS turf, furthermore, give him your credit card and let him have access to your ATM card? No one in their right mind would do that these days - in love or not.

We would consider any man asking for money (that is not our long time boyfriend after we have lived together for quite some time or our husbands) a big LOSER here in the States. (you didnt specify where you are from - but it still applies). What kind of future can you forsee with someone asking you for a penny? Does a man's pride cost anything these days?

So why are our visions impaired when we go away? I guess asking yourself if you would do this back home would be the best gauge of rationalize your behavior with men while away and abroad.

All the best, I really hope you are not this naive all the time...
 

Malibook

Bronze
Jan 23, 2002
1,951
167
0
www.yourtraveltickets.com
Kathandrea said:
I allowed him to hold the credit cards because I thought I could trust him. There were several ATM withdraws totalling almost $600

Even if you thought you could trust him, did you have no pockets or a purse and most importantly, how the hell did he get your PIN?

I know many would strongly disagree with this point but to me there is nothing wrong with freely choosing to be generous.

Trusting that he is being faithful is questionable.

Trusting him with your cards and PIN is crazy.

Live and learn.
I would hope you learned a valuable lesson which you will not soon forget.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
0
113
Ok!

Let me give you a little bit of advice. I don't give much advices anymore here but this is a freebie for you:
Next time you find yourself a man, please let that man win you over with affection and actions because a man that asks, begs or demands money from a woman that he had just met is not a real man. It does not matter how good that man is in bed or all the bullshit that he tells a woman, a man is a man when he can resolve all his problems without begging or asking for handouts.

He was just a person looking for opportunities and you gave him all the opportunities for him to do what he did.

Next time, DO NOT give money to your man, let him be the one spending his money on you and if he asks you for money, he is not the man for you and run like hell.

Shame on him for doing this to you and shame on you for making it so easy for him to do it to you!!!
 

bienvenido

New member
Sep 5, 2004
78
0
0
67
I mind as well just become a sankie

If sankies keep fooling people like that then, they should mind as well just put a Sankie school. Excuse me! but with all due respect to all DR1 readers but, these people deserve some kind of respect__boy! I must be in the wrong business. Isn?t these the 21 Century or what? I worked too hard for the money, and you trying to tell me that there are people out there with such a good rap that will get you to give up your credit card....give me a break! I can?t take it anymore. These must be just another story to keep us busy. Tell me that you were under some kind of dope or drug.. this have to go the minister of tourism, otherwise, they going to scare pople off pop area or may be I should just start my onwn anti-Sankiesm prevention program.
 
Last edited:

ltsnyder

Bronze
Jun 4, 2003
624
0
16
www.x3ci.com
You did'nt lose that much, and your wiser . . .

bienvenido said:
If sankies keep fooling people like that then, they should mind as well just put a Sankie school. Excuse me! but with all due respect to all DR1 readers but, these people deserve some kind of respect__boy! I must be in the wrong business. Isn?t these the 21 Century or what? I worked too hard for the money, and you trying to tell me that there are people out there with such a good rap that will get you to give up your credit card....give me a break! I can?t take it anymore. These must be just another story to keep us busy. Tell me that you were under some kind of dope or drug.. this have to go the minister of tourism, otherwise, they going to scare pople off pop area or may be I should just start my onwn anti-Sankiesm prevention program.


He wasn't a violent person, and you know the relation was not for you. You should think that things worked out well.

-Lee
 

la_barbie

Bronze
May 6, 2004
1,292
39
0
41
giving him your credit card to hold onto = DUMBASS of course he was going to use it... he wasent just stare at the plastic !
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
83
Nelly said:
I am very sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story.
On a side note:
You didn't happen to use your ATM card at a Banco Popular during your vacation, did you? There have been a lot of problems in the past with people having money stolen from their accounts after using their machines, especially in Sosua.

All I have to say is, sorry but do take note of what Nelly posted. If you did give him your pin number then it will be hard to know if he took the money. It's true if you do a search that money does go missing from people's accounts. But very hard to prove if someone else is using your cards.


Lee just because someone isn't violet doesn't excuse theft. I'm sure she would have given him what he wanted without stealing from her. I'm sure the most pain came from knowing he can't be trusted not the missing money.
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
Click, copy, paste in my files

The next time I see one of these dreamy eyed young things--Whammo!

HB, shaking his head!!
 

suarezn

Gold
Feb 3, 2002
5,823
290
0
55
What we need to know here, is whether she gave the guy her PIN number...If she didn't then is very unlikely it was him who took her money and more likely someone from the bank had some fun at your expense. If she did, then that was pretty stupid. Did you or did you not?
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
0
113
100 t0 1 bet!!!

suarezn said:
What we need to know here, is whether she gave the guy her PIN number...If she didn't then is very unlikely it was him who took her money and more likely someone from the bank had some fun at your expense. If she did, then that was pretty stupid. Did you or did you not?
Even if she says, here, that she did not, I bet that she did. Read where whe wrote "I kept sending money when he needed it" and that shows you that she was trusting this sankie way too much.
I am very sorry but I do not feel sorry for her one bit, unless she is 15.
When are SOME (see SOME) going to find out that THE FRICKING MAN IS THE ONE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO COURT YOU AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I am in the wrong business. I swear that if I were available, I would move to the DR and become a sankie. I would be a millionaire in no time!!!!! Shame on me for not being a sankie since that's where the $$$ is!
 

ltsnyder

Bronze
Jun 4, 2003
624
0
16
www.x3ci.com
miguel said:
Even if she says, here, that she did not, I bet that she did. Read where whe wrote "I kept sending money when he needed it" and that shows you that she was trusting this sankie way too much.
I am very sorry but I do not feel sorry for her one bit, unless she is 15.
When are SOME (see SOME) going to find out that THE FRICKING MAN IS THE ONE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO COURT YOU AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I am in the wrong business. I swear that if I were available, I would move to the DR and become a sankie. I would be a millionaire in no time!!!!! Shame on me for not being a sankie since that's where the $$$ is!

If $600 will make you move some where and do something, then forget about that, I have a job for you for $700 . . . Oh boy, I know your thinking, sign me up. :)

If the only pain you have is the pain of betrayal in your life . . . then count your blessings.

-Lee
 

stormer

New member
Apr 27, 2004
441
2
0
Oh sweetie, I feel bad for you (sincerely) I too went through something similar but didn't give him my bank card. This is not your fault, these men they know how to do this, and are brillant at it. But anyways what happened, is done and there is no use in crying over spilled milk,and I just want you to know that I can relate to your story somewhat. If you ever go back (I haven't had the courage yet) use better judgement. Take care. ;)
 

Chiquita

New member
Oct 3, 2004
55
0
0
YOu shouldn't be discouraged from going back. Just use this last experinece as a learning experience!! Now that you are older and wiser, you won't be so easily fooled!!

QUOTE=stormer]Oh sweetie, I feel bad for you (sincerely) I too went through something similar but didn't give him my bank card. This is not your fault, these men they know how to do this, and are brillant at it. But anyways what happened, is done and there is no use in crying over spilled milk,and I just want you to know that I can relate to your story somewhat. If you ever go back (I haven't had the courage yet) use better judgement. Take care. ;)[/QUOTE]
 
Status
Not open for further replies.