"you Dont Look Like A......."

TEHAMA

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This thread has no real purpose other than an opportunity for me vent over an ugly fight with the neighbors. What the fight was about is not important. How it began and what was said to me was most interesting. It became a complete shouting match. In the past few months had never said more than "hola" or "bueno" to these people as I never knew they spoke English and my Spanish is pathetically embarrasing at best. What I would learn later in the evening that these were the "international" traveled Dominicanos that would rather bark at me like a dog over the damn balcony than to come over speak civil.

After all the yelling and "f"-yous and that most famous "I will call my Cousin General blah blah blah and have you thrown out the country" crap. I told them who I was, why I was in the DR, and if your "country" doesn't wont my help I would simply take my show to another country. This is when he said, "You dont look like a......" I calmly turned around and asked him "what DO I look like?" I guess, noting my seriousness and calmness he retreated a bit and offered some pleasant compliments.

After I returned from the store and calmed down further. I went over and introduce myself and present some materials for them to keep. Later he would come to my place, giving me several rich contacts, email addresses, and a lot of other bullshtt. Although I was no longer angry, I never got past the "you dont look like a.." part.

At this point I rather continue to say "hello" and keep walking when passing these two. But to do so now would appear rude and unneighborly. These are the "internationally traveled" Dominicanos who barked at me like a ghetto dog but did a complete 360 when they realized their perceptions and prejudices were incorrect. Apologies were exchanged for the argument.

Rich they may be, class they have none. If this is a portion of the top crop from DR then this country is alot worst off that I ever imagined. A poor representation of DR to the "real" international community.
TEHAMA
 
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suarezn

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Feb 3, 2002
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Tehama: You left a lot of details out of your post that makes it hard to make sense of it.
You don't look like a what???
What was the fight about???
People want to know...
 

TEHAMA

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Thanks for your inquiry, but that's exactly the point. What does it matter? Obviously I didnt get in the building without some scrutnity by someone. Yet these "classy" people act like theyre from a ghetto. I think they realize they could and should managed their approach differently. Maybe not.

I am thinking of printing this post and slipping it under their door. As I really would like nothing to do with them and their poor superior attitude that everyone is beneath them.
TEHAMA
 
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Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Chris_NJ said:
You look like a what??? and what is your "show"?

I don't get it.


Neither do I. Why do you insist on leaving this info out?

Larry (scratching my head)
 

NALs

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Jan 20, 2003
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TEHAMA said:
This thread has no real purpose other than an opportunity for me vent over an ugly fight with the neighbors. What the fight was about is not important. How it began and what was said to me was most interesting. It became a complete shouting match. In the past few months had never said more than "hola" or "bueno" to these people as I never knew they spoke English and my Spanish is pathetically embarrasing at best. What I would learn later in the evening that these were the "international" traveled Dominicanos that would rather bark at me like a dog over the damn balcony than to come over speak civil.

After all the yelling and "f"-yous and that most famous "I will call my Cousin General blah blah blah and have you thrown out the country" crap. I told them who I was, why I was in the DR, and if your "country" doesn't wont my help I would simply take my show to another country. This is when he said, "You dont look like a......" I calmly turned around and asked him "what DO I look like?" I guess, noting my seriousness and calmness he retreated a bit and offered some pleasant compliments.

After I returned from the store and calmed down further. I went over and introduce myself and present some materials for them to keep. Later he would come to my place, giving me several rich contacts, email addresses, and a lot of other bullshtt. Although I was no longer angry, I never got past the "you dont look like a.." part.

At this point I rather continue to say "hello" and keep walking when passing these two. But to do so now would appear rude and unneighborly. These are the "internationally traveled" Dominicanos who barked at me like a ghetto dog but did a complete 360 when they realized their perceptions and prejudices were incorrect. Apologies were exchanged for the argument.

Rich they may be, class they have none. If this is a portion of the top crop from DR then this country is alot worst off that I ever imagined. A poor representation of DR to the "real" international community.
TEHAMA
It's hard to figure out what happened since its confusing to follow this. Alot of things were left out.

1. What caused them to become this angry? As with all humans, there are times when someone does something so annoying or wrong, that even the most cultured people will lose it at that point! It's important to know the details to this.

2. What exactly did they called you? Obviously it was something really bad, otherwise why those it have so much of an impact on you? It's important that you tell everyone what exactly they called you if you want DR1ers to say something here.

3. Did you initiated this or was it all created by a misunderstanding? People don't simply blow on people they constantly say "hi" to everyday! Did they started? If so, how or why? What was the fight about?

Accusations of stealing?

Accusation of property destruction?

Accusation of too much noise or being bothersome to neighbors?

Accusation of being different?

Was this an anti-Foreigner splurt or a racial splurt or what?

Were you two discussing something controversial? Something that only a Dominican can criticize about, but not a foreigner? There are many things Dominicans say about their country, people, etc. that will and does make us very angry if we hear a non-Dominican say it to us. I don't know why this is, but it is.

You are going to have to offer more explanations because everybody is lost in trying to find out what exactly happened.
 

BushBaby

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As TEHAMA has said, the "Why's & Wherefore's" are totally immaterial to the point he is trying to make - his neighbours perceived him (& his family) as being "SOMETHING" & tried to show their superiority by shouting, swearing & trying to downgrade him. THEY tried to put him into "A Box" so they could fel more comfortable with themselves & in this instance made a VERY big mistake in their perception - one they are now trying to retreat from.

We ALL do it, make an assesment of others without really knowing too much about them, & this is one of our failings as human beings. If we took the time to learn more about our neighbours & contacts (business or otherwise) from the start, we would most likely find them to be decent people, anxious to be our friends. That most of us generally try to 'Push people AWAY' rather than opening up our hearts, is a shame & belittles our 'Oh too short a time' spent on this planet.

I hear you TEHAMA & my suggestion would be to accept their apology but make them work at not making the same mistake with others in future! IF they are as influential as they seem to suggest to you, let them prove it by getting a bit of humanity passed around to those that REALLY need it!! Good luck with the teaching ~ Grahame.
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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I got the point Grahame but what exactly did he tell us? That there are people who formulate ideas about others before they have all the facts? I think we ALL do that. It's natural. How many people did you think you felt you had a read on and then later came to realize that you nothing of them or their past...and were surprised at how wrong you were.

So the poster got into a fight with his neighbors about SOMETHING and then tempers flared and insults were hurled. Then his neighbors came to learn that he was someone IMPORTANT and apoligized. OK, not much of a story without more detail. Sorry.

Larry
 

TEHAMA

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As I said it was nothing. And that if I were bothered by it I simply would have walked over talked civil (knowing that I spoke English). A couple of shirts and blue jeans drying on the balcony. No underwear or personals.

They did not call me anything. They assumed whatever theyre thoughts were of me. However, when I informed them, in short, they called me a liar because I didn't look like they thought one would. Internationally traveled and culturally enlighted people will recognize that no one particular stereotype is correct.

Again, I just hate it when people flaunt wealth and class but in reality are not wellrounded or culturally informed beyond their backyards.
TEHAMA
 

Pib

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TEHAMA said:
As I said it was nothing. And that if I were bothered by it I simply would have walked over talked civil (knowing that I spoke English). A couple of shirts and blue jeans drying on the balcony. No underwear or personals.
Depending on where you live this range from "not a frigging deal" to a "let's lynch him".

Hanging clothes anywhere but in the drying area is strictly prohibited in my building, but since I don't know your specific situation I will refrain from passing judgment on you or your neighbor.
 

mondongo

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While I may not know "what you look like", I do know "how you come across".....and it doesn't smell like roses.
 

TEHAMA

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THANK YOU, BUSHBABY!!!
Yes, we all do it. I am not the exception either. However, if presented with a situation or concern and I speak your language...I would not bark at anyone. Especially neighbors in my building.

As for how I smell (mondongo). I could care less about your thoughts. To me its very clear. I might have been a Foreign Diplomat or freeking Drug dealer (please no comment about either). Either way you might have placed yourself in harms way. Smart, intelligent, culturally aware people should know better.
TEHAMA
 

MaineGirl

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people are stupid

Tehama, I do not know the particulars but I feel your pain.

I once had the first female Venezuelan brain surgeon tell me "You can't be an American because you have crooked teeth." This was at a fancy club full of fancy stupid people.

I felt very embarrassed, both for me and her. For me because family economics at that time prevented a more aesthetic smile, and I knew it. For her because she was obviously too "educated" to realize this.
 

sweetdbt

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MaineGirl said:
Tehama, I do not know the particulars but I feel your pain.

I once had the first female Venezuelan brain surgeon tell me "You can't be an American because you have crooked teeth." This was at a fancy club full of fancy stupid people.

I felt very embarrassed, both for me and her. For me because family economics at that time prevented a more aesthetic smile, and I knew it. For her because she was obviously too "educated" to realize this.

Yes and she probably had no clue as to how expensive dental work is in the US!
 

Naufrago

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The "You don't look like a..." strikes a familiar chord. For me it's "You don't look like a Lawyer" (I rarely wear a suit, or carry my briefcase), but it could be anything, a doctor, a diplomat, a rich business man, whatever. People all over are swayed by appearances, but I think it's especially true here in the DR. I find it annoying, but it simply is a revelation of the speakers stupidity. Well now they've seen something new. As far as judging the DR from the attitudes of these folks, don't be so harsh. Rich people all over the world can be so full of attitude and self delusion. "Top of the Crop" not in my book.
 

Lovelylocs

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I could be wrong, but he is probably referring to race. DOminicans tend to think that Americans are white w/blonde hair and green eyes. Anyone black is either dominican or haitian. Anyone w/slanty eyes must be Chinese. That is how things work in the DR. It is due to a lack of education on race and nationality.