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Thread: Can. girl fell for a DR guy and it cost me ...

  1. #1
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    Default Can. girl fell for a DR guy and it cost me ...

    Let me first start by saying … “I am a fool”.
    I already know this … so everyone who reads this post please, save yourself the trouble.

    I’m 35 – came to Puerto Plata over Christmas with 3 other girls to enjoy the sun, sand, you know, to relax.
    Never expected to be hit on so much by the locals (hotel staff local Dominicans). Was nice change from life in Canada.
    I’m mulatto, with a sorta JLO body and long curly hair.
    I’m also engaged.

    Was fully expecting my 3 other girlfriends (blondes) to get picked up, not me… turns out, none of them hooked up … but I did.

    By the way, if someone could explain this phenomenon to me, I’d greatly appreciate it …. I thought ALL men loved blondes. My friend’s egos took some MAJOR damage.
    Mine, on the other hand, was greatly restored.

    Anyway, met a GEORGEOUS guy …staff at the hotel… invited me to the Disco in Puerto Plata. Kept saying no … finally went, we hooked up and it was AMAZING. (ALWAYS, safe sex).

    That was it really … I learned a little bit about his life … he has a kid - baby girl - (do all DR men have kids before they are 30?) and is “separated” …
    I wish he hadn’t told me about himself – because I started to CARE about him. That’s where they hit you – every time.
    I was warned he was a player – BUT I COULDN’T RESIST HIM!

    Anyway, we said our goodbyes; I sent him an email when I got back – never heard from him.
    OK – Thanks for the memories.

    About 2 weeks after I got back, he called.
    He was sweet.
    He asked for money… I knew it was only a matter of time.

    Maybe it was still too soon after the trip – I don’t know … I just kept remembering how AMAZING the sex was and I thought… ok – “this guy earns, in a month, what I earn in a DAY! Why not just send him the money and leave it at that. If I never hear from him again, so be it.”

    Well, it looks like I will never hear from him again…
    I called him to make sure he got the money ok and he was really sweet and thankful. I was just glad to help – honestly I was – I know his life is hard.
    He said he’d call but he hasn’t since.
    I called him today just to make sure he got the stuff he needed to buy – got his voicemail – left a message – will be the last one.

    I’m SUCH a loser… I honestly thought maybe I could help this guy out…he’s super handsome, smart, sweet and maybe, could have helped him start a better life…not necessarily with me but doing something other than working in a hotel. I was prepared to help him for the long haul and he blew it.

    My girlfriends, (after they mocked me for hours) told me that, when people are poor, I mean REALLY poor, they only see how to survive in the “NOW”… meaning – he say the opportunity, took it and ran. They said I should be thankful this didn’t go on for months or years ….

    I know they’re right …
    Too bad really … I actually wanted to help this person … he kind of awakened a new “passion” in me I didn’t know was there.
    He actually made my relationship back home “better”….

    So why can’t I stop thinking about him?

  2. #2
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    If cheating on your fiance makes your relationship with him better, I highly suggest you don't get married. While I do understand the 'logic' behind this from my own personal experience - I can also guarantee you that the marriage is doomed before it even starts.

    I know that doesnt answer your question, but I thought I would say this anyway.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisygirl
    So why can’t I stop thinking about him?
    You are dickmatized.

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    Sun, sand, sex and disallusion. It's a fantasy thinking that someone far away was interested in you. I hope you can see him for what he was. I don't agree with the being poor part. Many poor people in the DR would have too much pride in asking a stranger for money. Would you ask for money to a stranger in Canada just because you had sex with them?

    But I do agree that you better think out your marriage plans and the thought of sex with this holiday man at the back of your head.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Conchman
    If cheating on your fiance makes your relationship with him better, I highly suggest you don't get married. While I do understand the 'logic' behind this from my own personal experience - I can also guarantee you that the marriage is doomed before it even starts.

    I know that doesnt answer your question, but I thought I would say this anyway.

    How does sleeping with someone else make my relationship better with my fiance???

    Hard to explain but I guess it just made me realize that sex / passion / intamacy is REALLY important to a relationship. Sometimes my fiance and I go weeks / months without being intimate and, when we do, there is not spark, no groove.... it's wierd, this whole experience made me want to recapture that.

    Now, could you guys please answer myy questions!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Coniglio
    Sun, sand, sex and disallusion. It's a fantasy thinking that someone far away was interested in you. I hope you can see him for what he was. I don't agree with the being poor part. Many poor people in the DR would have too much pride in asking a stranger for money. Would you ask for money to a stranger in Canada just because you had sex with them?

    But I do agree that you better think out your marriage plans and the thought of sex with this holiday man at the back of your head.
    Of course not, (asking people for money because you were intimate with them). I didn’t mean to imply that he felt that way….(that I should give him money because we slept together). I guess I’m just confused, I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t really care about the money. I just wanted to help.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisygirl
    Now, could you guys please answer myy questions!!!
    I only see one question. Why can't you forget him?

    Answer: It was all an illusion. You wouldn't want that kind of person full time.

    Good sex can make any good intelligent woman suddenly turn dumb as a door nob. There I said it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisygirl
    Was fully expecting my 3 other girlfriends (blondes) to get picked up, not me… turns out, none of them hooked up … but I did.

    By the way, if someone could explain this phenomenon to me, I’d greatly appreciate it …. I thought ALL men loved blondes. My friend’s egos took some MAJOR damage.
    Mine, on the other hand, was greatly restored.
    Its all to simple why he picked you from the other cute girls because you were an easy target. You weren't expecting to be picked up becuase you are over-weight and with low selfesteem. You did exactly when he wanted you to do, quick sex and easy cash in return. You did just that.
    Now here is a trick some of us play in DR. When we meet some girls in party ex: pretty girls, rich looking, model types, we only talk to the girl who is the ugliest and totally ignore the pretty princesses. This makes them totally jealous and makes them do things to attract our attention. Then in the end, we end up going out with the cute ones anyway. If we had tried to pick on the cute ones from the very beginning, we might not have had any chance at going out anywhere with any one of them.
    Its an old trick and works quite well.
    AZB

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    I did answer your question. You got fvcked well. Plus to your surprise he pick you over the blonde girls. Must've made feel extra special, huh?

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisygirl
    How does sleeping with someone else make my relationship better with my fiance???

    Hard to explain but I guess it just made me realize that sex / passion / intamacy is REALLY important to a relationship. Sometimes my fiance and I go weeks / months without being intimate and, when we do, there is not spark, no groove.... it's wierd, this whole experience made me want to recapture that.

    Now, could you guys please answer myy questions!!!

  10. #10
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    I am not sure how any of us can answer your questions since you are not here lying on the couch telling us your life story. B

    ut here may be some of the answers to your question

    You are caught up in the romantic notion of this man.
    First of all if you really wanted to do something for someone out of the goodness of your heart you should not expect/want anything in return Secondly - women want from that they can't have( or get a hold of) you are probabbly getting that rush when you call then the disappointment when he does not answer but since he does not answer you call again.
    Third - The DR is a wonderful place and many people have great things happen there - then they go back to their "real " lives and all they can do is think about a beach, or a site, or a smell and they get to thinking how wonderful it was and what can happen next time - it is like an addiction.

    Does this answer any of your questions?

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